bananaboat11 Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 So after I ended it. Over a month ago putting my foot down that her antics were intolerable... (long story - I tried to tolerate it, but it was too much... and it had to do with her ex boyfriend and guys who liked her texting her provocative, flirtatious text messages nonstop at 2am while i'm in bed with her... just the icing on the cake) ...I finally tell her AGAIN after she insists to meet up and return some of my stuff to me that I don't want to be friends - we didn't have one to begin with and I can't have one with her right now. I need my space from her - I don't want to meet up with her... if she could mail it to me and I'll send her a check for shipping and handling - much appreciated. Her response? ~~~~> "**** you, have a nice life" I give it another 2-3 weeks before I hear from her again. heh. Maybe I'm immature for not wanting to see her post-breakup even if it's been a month.. nor mature enough to handle a friendship yet... but can you blame me? It's too soon.
D-Lish Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 The thing is, you don't owe anyone an explanation for not wanting to see her. Quite frankly, you don't owe her anything and there is nothing wrong with enforcing the NC. She effed up, and this is the way it is. You're in charge, she has no say.
Author bananaboat11 Posted July 19, 2010 Author Posted July 19, 2010 The thing is, you don't owe anyone an explanation for not wanting to see her. Quite frankly, you don't owe her anything and there is nothing wrong with enforcing the NC. She effed up, and this is the way it is. You're in charge, she has no say. That's what I'm afraid of... somehow, i know it'll blow up in my face. thanks hun
D-Lish Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 That's what I'm afraid of... somehow, i know it'll blow up in my face. thanks hun How could it, or why would it? Maybe you won't get your stuff back, but that might be a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things.
Author bananaboat11 Posted July 19, 2010 Author Posted July 19, 2010 How could it, or why would it? Maybe you won't get your stuff back, but that might be a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things. I already got my stuff back... the thing that pisses me off, but I need to shrug it off for now is that in my favorite coffee shop - she left my stuff in a bag and told me it's in the lost and found. When I went in there - they told me this was left for a crazy ex boyfriend. I said it was left for me b/c from the crazy ex girlfriend. I should've left the crazy bit out, but oh well... she's clearly hurt. Nothing more I can do though.. right now.
D-Lish Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I already got my stuff back... the thing that pisses me off, but I need to shrug it off for now is that in my favorite coffee shop - she left my stuff in a bag and told me it's in the lost and found. When I went in there - they told me this was left for a crazy ex boyfriend. I said it was left for me b/c from the crazy ex girlfriend. I should've left the crazy bit out, but oh well... she's clearly hurt. Nothing more I can do though.. right now. Lol. Yes, she's clearly hurt. But she's finding out that her actions have real consequences. The fact that she's trying to make you feel bad for breaking up with her just shows you that you dodged a bullet. You made a good decision for yourself, and she's just going to have to come to terms with that decision. I know it sucks, because you are obviously feeling some guilt (which is normal). I've walked away from people in the past that I really liked and felt guilty about it. I haven't found myself regretting those decisions after the dust settled though.
Author bananaboat11 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Lol. Yes, she's clearly hurt. But she's finding out that her actions have real consequences. The fact that she's trying to make you feel bad for breaking up with her just shows you that you dodged a bullet. You made a good decision for yourself, and she's just going to have to come to terms with that decision. I know it sucks, because you are obviously feeling some guilt (which is normal). I've walked away from people in the past that I really liked and felt guilty about it. I haven't found myself regretting those decisions after the dust settled though. I hate to say it, but I hope this is true in her case. She is mental... literally. Borderline Personality... Bipolar... Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder... I feel bad. However, there is nothing I can do I cannot change her.. I cannot make her change. I must let her live. And so, must I.
USMCHokie Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I hate to say it, but I hope this is true in her case. She is mental... literally. Borderline Personality... Bipolar... Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder... I feel bad. However, there is nothing I can do I cannot change her.. I cannot make her change. I must let her live. And so, must I. Then get over it.
Author bananaboat11 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Then get over it. Already am. I have a new girlfriend. kidding Nah. I am living and having fun. =) The ex's loss.
TheLoneSock Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 So after I ended it. Over a month ago putting my foot down that her antics were intolerable... (long story - I tried to tolerate it, but it was too much... and it had to do with her ex boyfriend and guys who liked her texting her provocative, flirtatious text messages nonstop at 2am while i'm in bed with her... just the icing on the cake) ...I finally tell her AGAIN after she insists to meet up and return some of my stuff to me that I don't want to be friends - we didn't have one to begin with and I can't have one with her right now. I need my space from her - I don't want to meet up with her... if she could mail it to me and I'll send her a check for shipping and handling - much appreciated. Her response? ~~~~> "**** you, have a nice life" I give it another 2-3 weeks before I hear from her again. heh. Maybe I'm immature for not wanting to see her post-breakup even if it's been a month.. nor mature enough to handle a friendship yet... but can you blame me? It's too soon. This is pretty typical, it sounds like Cinderella syndrome. I think you should have met up with her and gotten your stuff in person, that's what I would have done - it shows her you aren't effected by seeing her in person while at the same time eliminating any excuse for contact in the future (she would no longer be able to hold your stuff as hostage, or have a reason to get in touch). But, I am not you and who am I to say what you should have done. Only you know your feelings. I don't think it's a matter of immaturity to not want a friendship with her, I think it's just being real about the situation. As D-Lish said, she is realizing her actions have consequences, and you are probably one of the first guys to hold her accountable like that. She is used to dating doormats, hence the burst of emotion in the 'f*ck you' text when she didn't get her way. Then get over it. I hope you're kidding.
Author bananaboat11 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 I hope you're kidding. LoneSock, thanks for the advice. I feel I'm immature and Dlish, I feel guilty, but I'm sure I'll get over it. I think she is used to getting her way with the boys... but I put my foot down. she isn't a fan i presume. She doesn't know it's killing me inside. heh. And don't worry LS... USMC and I are good friends!
USMCHokie Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I hope you're kidding. Hahah, not in the slightest bit...
Author bananaboat11 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Hahah, not in the slightest bit... you're such an a-hole
Author bananaboat11 Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 I changed my phone number. she is blocked on FB. I worry no more, but I do feel guilty. I'm 25 and single. I feel alone. HEh
USMCHokie Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 I changed my phone number. she is blocked on FB. I worry no more, but I do feel guilty. I'm 25 and single. I feel alone. HEh Stop whining. You'll be fine. xoxo, Hokie
Thorgs Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 I already got my stuff back... the thing that pisses me off, but I need to shrug it off for now is that in my favorite coffee shop - she left my stuff in a bag and told me it's in the lost and found. When I went in there - they told me this was left for a crazy ex boyfriend. I said it was left for me b/c from the crazy ex girlfriend. I should've left the crazy bit out, but oh well... Hmm, this sounds like Russian spy activity...I'm going to have to report you
Author bananaboat11 Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 Stop whining. You'll be fine. xoxo, Hokie Yes, but one day... I'd like to meet a woman... and fall in love. And look into her eyes every morning and fall in love all over again, and her with me. And grow old together and have children... and grandchildren... and fight.. and have hot makeup sex... heh
USMCHokie Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Yes, but one day... I'd like to meet a woman... and fall in love. And look into her eyes every morning and fall in love all over again, and her with me. And grow old together and have children... and grandchildren... and fight.. and have hot makeup sex... heh And you will. Just don't do it with the crazy ones...
Author bananaboat11 Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 I can't help but feel guilty and kille I was in the wrong.... and I don't know why....
D-Lish Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Because she is going out of her way to make you feel bad for standing up for yourself? Just a thought.
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