How Should I Proceed?

[summerisending]

Hello everyone. I recently discovered this forum after searching the internet for people who have experienced the same situation as myself. I have read some very helpful information here on Loveshack and I would appreciate if some of you could offer me some advice as well.

 

I am currently in between my junior and senior years of college and, as part of my studies, completing a summer internship. The internship itself has been fantastic and has allowed me to learn more than I ever would have dreamed of about the field that I have chosen in addition to gaining contacts in the industry that will be invaluable in my professional future. Simply, it has been a magnificent summer.

 

However, my problem is not work-related so I will not bore you with further details.

 

I am quite taken with one of my fellow interns. She is an amazing person and has a captivating personality. I cannot help but smile when I see her and it is always a pleasure to converse with her. It is truly a joy to work with her.

 

This is, of course, why it saddens me that we met at our place of summer employment.

 

If we had met while taking a course, I would have no problems asking her on a date. However, that is not the case. I must think of my future career. Office romances are, rightfully, frowned upon. Relationships sometimes end poorly, regardless of how much both people work to avoid this. This can create a hostile work environment. I want to avoid being known as a person who does not respect the boundaries of business and pleasure.

 

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, the summer is coming to an end.

 

I am planning on waiting until the last day of our internship to ask her on a date. I am concerned that waiting until the end of the summer will send the wrong message: that perhaps I am not genuinely interested in her. After all, why would I have waited three months?

 

On the other hand, if I share my feelings with her sooner, and she does not reciprocate, I risk creating a terrible situation at work and earning a bad reputation.

 

Finally, I'm not an expert with woman. Honestly, I'm a novice. I've been a few dates in my life, but I've never been involved in a serious relationship. My friends speak of things such as "looking for signs" and "picking up on vibes" but this is Greek to me. I do not know what "signs" to look for and I am oblivious to "vibes." As such, I am unsure if she is harboring the same amorous feelings for me. What should I look for?

 

I would appreciate any advice that the community could give me.

 

Thank you and if you have any questions or need clarification, please respond to this thread.

[tman666]

I guess the first question that popped into my head was whether or not you'll see her again after this summer? Do you guys live in the same city or go to the same school? If she's going off somewhere far away from where you'll be, you should probably just let it cool off. If you start the relationship off long distance, you'll have a very hard time getting to know her as she truly is. I could go on and on about why I think that LDRs are a bad idea, especially if it's not out of absolute necessity (i.e. military deployment, work reasons), but that's really just my opinion.

 

On the other hand, if there is a potential to actually hang out with her in person beyond the summer (and by that I mean weekly at a bare minimum, not just a couple of times during the course of the semester) you might want to pursue it further. If this is the case, I would wait until you're done with your internship to avoid the potential complications that could arise with a workplace romance, or worse, a workplace romance rejection .

 

As to whether or not she's interested, those "vibes" and "signs" depend greatly on the girl. Some are masters at being poker faced and not letting on. Others may flirt, have deep conversations, cuddle, etc. when they are not at all interested (this is known as being a "cuddle bitch", and it's something that you should never be willingly). Generally, I've found that if a girl responds positively to your compliments, compliments you, touches you, laughs at your jokes, talks about you to her friends, etc., you're in pretty safe territory. The trick is that if she's the type of girl that responds this way to every guy, then you probably don't want to be in that relationship anyways...

 

There's really only one way to truly find out. You'll never know for sure unless you ask her.

 

Just my 2 pesos.