maria gostrey Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 how do you get over someone who you gave your heart to only to end up alone with it bleeding in your hand? i was in love with this guy for four years. he was my world, my best friend. even though the range of emotions we experienced were via an online long distance relationship, his presence in my life was very strong and very real. during the last couple of months with him we would always argue about how he did not spend enough time with me online. he would say he was so busy and by the time he got home he was too tired and sleepy to hang out with me till dawn like we once used to. 1 month or so ago we had a big fight and then we made up the next day apologizing and everything seemed okay. however, after that he disappeared. *poof*. i at first thought that he was pulling one of his disappearing acts when he takes a break from the computer but as the weeks went on and he kept being a no-show, i realized his prolonged absence might be his attempt at dumping me. yesterday morning i saw pictures of him on fb so happy with his new real life girlfriend. i can't breathe. i was vaguely aware of the girl's presence in his life during our last tumultuous months "together" but i couldn't have imagined that he may have been interested in her while halfheartedly stringing me along. i am crushed and heart broken and i hurt oh so much. funny thing is, i was always clear to tell him that if he were ever to find himself interested in someone in his real life to let me know. so that i could move on properly. and he promised reassuring me that he would never ever do that. *sigh* i'm so shocked because right before his disappearance we were talking of taking things to the next level. i officially invited him to visit me and he said he would as soon as he could. also, he had started giving indications that he loved me. he threw out, "je'taime" a couple of times while drunk first, so i ignored it. but then he said so too when sober. now, our usual way of expressing affection was "je t'adore" or "i adore you". so i was naturally surprised and asked him if he meant "je'taime" as in "i love you". he quickly retraced his words and said he meant it as " je t'adore". at the time i wasn't sure what to make of it but now i'm wondering if he really meant what he said and turned away because he thought i rejected him... a big part of me wants closure. i want to know why he ended things the way he did. why he couldn't owe me the decency to come up and tell me he had found someone else? why did he cruelly leave me hanging in uncertainty and confusing on this end while he was off frolicking with this other girl on his end? furthermore, the image of her with him is seared into my mind. it sickens me. i can't believe she will be with someone i loved and imagined a reunion with for the past couple of years of my life. all his sweet words and gestures will now belong to her. was i so easy to replace? was i just something to distract himself with until someone real came along and showed him interest? please help. i feel like im drowning.
lovemoron Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 Hi Maria, I can fully understand how you must feel. I think the most important thing to focus on and remember is just how childish and disrespectful your BF has acted. He is a coward, plain and simple, and just be thankful that you did not take things to the next level. There is not limit to the unhappiness and misfortune that this type of character can bring to your life. The closure you seek will come from within once you've let him go and put your energy into yourself. You will never be able to trust a word he says. Start right away - exercise, eat right, socialize and have fun - forget this clown, he is bad for you. Take care.
sugarmomma Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 He sounds like a real winner--- I mean loser. See my link and take the rose tinted glasses off.
Author maria gostrey Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Hi Maria, I can fully understand how you must feel. I think the most important thing to focus on and remember is just how childish and disrespectful your BF has acted. He is a coward, plain and simple, and just be thankful that you did not take things to the next level. There is not limit to the unhappiness and misfortune that this type of character can bring to your life. The closure you seek will come from within once you've let him go and put your energy into yourself. You will never be able to trust a word he says. Start right away - exercise, eat right, socialize and have fun - forget this clown, he is bad for you. Take care. yes, he has been very disrespectful. no one deserves to be treated that way, forget someone he has lead on for 4 years and confessed to have feelings for. even more than a bad bf material, he just seems to me to be a person of questionable morals.
sensi Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 You have to check this blog out - it's funny, heartbreaking yet realistic http://ridingsolo.wordpress.com/ It makes you realise you're not the only person in the world who's heart is breaking....
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