Serenitynow Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 You have seen plenty of stories on here, where a guy calls/texts a girl, and she ignores it the first time around. And then the guy will try again later that day, or 1 or 2 days later, and she answers. Women have admitted on here that they have done that to look busy, or not look so desperate. Have any of you ladies that practice this, ever had the guy NOT call again after the first try, and then you are stuck in with the ball in your court ? I'm sure there are women that wouldnt dare call him, because that just wipesout the whole scenario you tried to establish by ignoring the first call. How many of you have swallowed your pride, and called him back(even though you hated having to do it) or did you say hell no, he needs to call again, and you end up never hearing from him again? This thread is NOT referring to the women that call back on a regular basis, I'm talking about the women on here that have made specific comments about playing games, or sparking interest on purpose.
jamesum Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Why would anyone call someone repeatedly like that in the first place? I have a rule of calling anyone no more than twice. If more then it can be rude or desperate. Unless of course its an emergency.
brainygirl Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Does seeing the number, knowing who it is, appreciating that they called, but not feeling like you had the time or energy or mood to talk to a romantic interest at the moment and so waiting a day or even a few hours count? Meh, I honestly don't worry about it. I doubt that my one and only destiny will only call once . . . . of course I doubt the concept of the one and only destiny. And, if I'm interested I'll call him whether he's called me of not.
jamesum Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Anyway, I dont understand people who play games. If you are an expressive and impulsive person, then be that way. If the other person doesnt like that then he/she isnt for you. Games are only for one night stands, not long term relationships.
Author Serenitynow Posted July 18, 2010 Author Posted July 18, 2010 Anyway, I dont understand people who play games. If you are an expressive and impulsive person, then be that way. If the other person doesnt like that then he/she isnt for you. Games are only for one night stands, not long term relationships. I agree 100% But take a gander aroud the posts on here, you will see we are seriously outnumbered with our way of thinking.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 I'm weird because I think it's better to play games like this, but personally can't do it. I think I give this advice partly because I've been labeled as desperate for this reason or not a good catch because there is no chasing with me. I was lucky to find a guy who didn't need a chase, otherwise I'd pretty much be hopeless right now.
You'reasian Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 I don't chase and have never had the need to. When a woman is interested enough, she will reciprocate. If she isn't as interested, she will play games and put you off - its that simple.
gorgeous12 Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 it has for me. we stopped talking for 5 months before i decided to grow some balls (not literaly ) and actually initiate conversation with him.. needless to say 2 years later and we are still with each other to this day. If I hadn't quit the games.. we wouldn't be talking.
gamma1 Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 (edited) I'm weird because I think it's better to play games like this, but personally can't do it. I think I give this advice partly because I've been labeled as desperate for this reason or not a good catch because there is no chasing with me. I was lucky to find a guy who didn't need a chase, otherwise I'd pretty much be hopeless right now. Why is it better to play games? It's good that you don't play these childish games. Edited July 19, 2010 by gamma1
phineas Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 If I'm calling a woman for the first time & get VM i'll leave a message asking her to call me back. If she doesn't, NEXT! I'm not so good looking i have a ton of options, I'm just recognizing the beginning of an annoying situation if I chase after a woman & I've really had enough of that. basically, women who are interested find a way to be with me. And their persistent about it.
jamesum Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 I'm weird because I think it's better to play games like this, but personally can't do it. I think I give this advice partly because I've been labeled as desperate for this reason or not a good catch because there is no chasing with me. I was lucky to find a guy who didn't need a chase, otherwise I'd pretty much be hopeless right now. And I bet you are with a great guy now. Like said, if a guy loses interest because you dont play games, do you really wanna be with him? Playing games DO WORK! Noone denies that. But the problem is you are less likely to get someone who will appreciate you the way you are. People need to realize that playing games is intended for people who wanna get the attraction from someone whom they think they wont be able to get unless they use tricks.
Pfiend101 Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 It seems the unwritten rule of dating is "Play or be played"
USMCHokie Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 It seems the unwritten rule of dating is "Play or be played" Nah...can't say I agree with this one...
MrNate Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 Nah...can't say I agree with this one... I second this.
OpenBook Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 This thread is NOT referring to the women that call back on a regular basis, I'm talking about the women on here that have made specific comments about playing games, or sparking interest on purpose. It's not so much sparking interest as it is trying not to kill it. In the beginning of relationships, guys are fickle. They're deathly afraid of desperate/clingy behavior, so if you always do what they want & are constantly available to them, they start thinking you're desperate/clingy - even if you're not. Every successful relationship I've had, there's been a point where the guy sees that I'm emotionally independent and it's full steam ahead, like I've passed a Guy Test or something. If I don't reach that point with him in the first few weeks, then he doesn't last long.
jamesum Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 It's not so much sparking interest as it is trying not to kill it. In the beginning of relationships, guys are fickle. They're deathly afraid of desperate/clingy behavior, so if you always do what they want & are constantly available to them, they start thinking you're desperate/clingy - even if you're not. Every successful relationship I've had, there's been a point where the guy sees that I'm emotionally independent and it's full steam ahead, like I've passed a Guy Test or something. If I don't reach that point with him in the first few weeks, then he doesn't last long. Well, if you are not crazy then you dont need to pretend not to be crazy. But if you are actually not normal and initially pretend to be normal so the guy won't flee then sooner or later he will find out anyway, right?
crimsonmike Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 I could be wrong, but I think at least 50% of the time we men say a woman is "playing games" she simply is not interested. I did have a woman I was dating a few months back have it backfire on her. She got to where she would ignore me and not half call me back. One day she came to my house and would not interact at all. She only stayed about 30 minutes and got up to leave. I decided then she had lost interest and just didn't have the nerve to break it off, so I told her we should stop seeing each other. She got really upset and started crying! I knew then all she was doing was screwing with me and trying to put herself in a dominate position. It really pissed me off so I dropped her anyway.
gypsy_nicky Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 women always play the mind games. Its not evil.
BubbleFreak Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 When I was an immature 15 year old I had a big crush on a boy I worked with at McDonalds. I didn't know he liked me too. One day in the staffroom, what seemed out of the blue, he asked me out. I was so surprised I didn't know how to react, so I literally ran away. Later on I was in the freezer and he stood at the door, trapping me in there, and asked me out again. I was sort of embaressed at my reaction before, and I wanted to get out of the freezer, so I told him that I don't like him, and I never will, and would never go out with him. Very very weird, but he did ask me out again for a third time (the LAST time) on a different day. And again I said no. Mind games? Yeah probably. A defence mechanism because I was too immature to just tell him the truth that HELL YES I wanted to go out with him but I was embaressed with myself for acting so silly in the beginning and I had to stick to my story:P Mind games are a bad bad thing.
jamesum Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 When I was an immature 15 year old I had a big crush on a boy I worked with at McDonalds. I didn't know he liked me too. One day in the staffroom, what seemed out of the blue, he asked me out. I was so surprised I didn't know how to react, so I literally ran away. Later on I was in the freezer and he stood at the door, trapping me in there, and asked me out again. I was sort of embaressed at my reaction before, and I wanted to get out of the freezer, so I told him that I don't like him, and I never will, and would never go out with him. Very very weird, but he did ask me out again for a third time (the LAST time) on a different day. And again I said no. Mind games? Yeah probably. A defence mechanism because I was too immature to just tell him the truth that HELL YES I wanted to go out with him but I was embaressed with myself for acting so silly in the beginning and I had to stick to my story:P Mind games are a bad bad thing. And I assume now you are 16?
Author Serenitynow Posted July 19, 2010 Author Posted July 19, 2010 I was an immature 15 year old I never would have guessed immaturity existed in Bubble World .
LondonS Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 well- I reply when I see someone's text but dont sit around waiting for him to reply.. if he does, fine, if he doesnt.. thats fine too. I sometime forget my phone in the car and txts go unreplied for a day but I dont intentionally play games... soo waste of time/energy etc, its for school kids perhaps and not for grown up professionals.
fishtaco Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 I don't chase and have never had the need to. When a woman is interested enough, she will reciprocate. If she isn't as interested, she will play games and put you off - its that simple. Yup. I make contact once and once only. I use that one opportunity to put the ball in the woman's court if I don't get an unmistakable yes. After all, I took the first step, she already knows I'm interested, it's up to her to respond, or not, her choice. Women that are truly interested in you will be magically responsive. They will put in an effort to establish further connection at least as much as you do. If they don't then you're at best a back burner guy, and you should treat them exactly as they treat you.
Author Serenitynow Posted July 19, 2010 Author Posted July 19, 2010 I do the same. I call (not text) and leave a voice mail if no answer. That way its all on them. You just know that there are women that ignore the first contact, then when the guy never calls a 2nd time, they are stuck, sitting there like WTH ? LOL
kalikula Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 I think that's exaggerating a bit.. Anyone who waits days and days to call or text someone back (or never does) just isn't that interested. I do think "game playing" is effective, but to me it's more along the lines of not texting or calling the guy first or waiting a bit to text him back (until you get more serious and enter into a relationship or something). Guys sometimes freak out and think you're desperate/clingy, so I just want to make sure he knows I'm independent and have a life... So, I've never had game playing backfire on me. I've only had the opposite- a couple guys lose interest because I text/call them first and they want to chase me. Whatever.. Clearly they weren't that interested to begin with then.
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