JadedHeart Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Have any of you ever heard the misnomer about nice guys? They seem nice but on the inside they're not... I completely understand why women avoid them like a plague. I'm a guy and I'm heterosexual but I have this one friend... He was pretty cool at first. After a few months he started to become really nosy. He kept asking me to explain everything I was doing, asking very personal questions. I told him to give me some space and let me handle my business. He would reluctantly agree then go back at it the very next day! I would get a few calls and texts every single day. The more I ignored him and avoided him the more he would call. Every time he would see me he'd ask the same damn thing... "Are you okay?" Yea I'm good "You sure? You don't look okay." Yea man I'm straight "So.. you okay?" *irritated voice* Dude I already told you I'm good "See you're not okay, you seem bothered." "So...you okay?" He would literally ask me this every time! I personally think he liked bothering me, but I was getting PISSED OFF like a mofo! He would always try to follow me and go where I was going, do what I was doing, etc... I finally told him to back off I need my space, if you can't understand that then maybe we shouldn't be friends. What seemed like a nice guy turned into a real prick. He kept trying to manipulate me and guilt trip me into being his friend again. He'd use big words out of context to sound smart which really annoyed me even more! Not only that he types like a fkn 1st grader. Something like... "Am I in compliance with the friendship? Is bad you ignore me, the resentment from you not being a good friend. Is like, you know?" Then he'd insult me and tell me okay I'll give you space. Next day samn damn thing. I told him to back off again, yet he is still at it. He's really cramping my style!! I find it very hard to socialize and talk to the ladies when he's around. He looks so awkward and won't give me space to hit on girls I see *Yes guys, women do love being hit on, not in a creepy way but they enjoy the male attention* It's when you're too nice you give off that creepy vibe, the beta males. He gives off that vibe. I've tried ignoring him, avoiding him, being straight up about not wanting to be friends. The only other thing I can think of is to kick his fkn ass. But we're all civilized adults here, what would the wise people from this forum suggest? -Thanks guy, I know it seemed more like a rant... The vent felt pretty therapeutic
You'reasian Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Have any of you ever heard the misnomer about nice guys? They seem nice but on the inside they're not... I completely understand why women avoid them like a plague. I'm a guy and I'm heterosexual but I have this one friend... He was pretty cool at first. After a few months he started to become really nosy. He kept asking me to explain everything I was doing, asking very personal questions. I told him to give me some space and let me handle my business. He would reluctantly agree then go back at it the very next day! I would get a few calls and texts every single day. The more I ignored him and avoided him the more he would call. Every time he would see me he'd ask the same damn thing... "Are you okay?" Yea I'm good "You sure? You don't look okay." Yea man I'm straight "So.. you okay?" *irritated voice* Dude I already told you I'm good "See you're not okay, you seem bothered." "So...you okay?" He would literally ask me this every time! I personally think he liked bothering me, but I was getting PISSED OFF like a mofo! He would always try to follow me and go where I was going, do what I was doing, etc... I finally told him to back off I need my space, if you can't understand that then maybe we shouldn't be friends. What seemed like a nice guy turned into a real prick. He kept trying to manipulate me and guilt trip me into being his friend again. He'd use big words out of context to sound smart which really annoyed me even more! Not only that he types like a fkn 1st grader. Something like... "Am I in compliance with the friendship? Is bad you ignore me, the resentment from you not being a good friend. Is like, you know?" Then he'd insult me and tell me okay I'll give you space. Next day samn damn thing. I told him to back off again, yet he is still at it. He's really cramping my style!! I find it very hard to socialize and talk to the ladies when he's around. He looks so awkward and won't give me space to hit on girls I see *Yes guys, women do love being hit on, not in a creepy way but they enjoy the male attention* It's when you're too nice you give off that creepy vibe, the beta males. He gives off that vibe. I've tried ignoring him, avoiding him, being straight up about not wanting to be friends. The only other thing I can think of is to kick his fkn ass. But we're all civilized adults here, what would the wise people from this forum suggest? -Thanks guy, I know it seemed more like a rant... The vent felt pretty therapeutic Did he ever talk to you like this face to face? If not, that's strange. Especially if he types well most of the time and then starts typing like a first grader. Is someone else trying to play a joke on you? Yeah, women do like to be hit on. Never be too nice to the ladies...
Author JadedHeart Posted July 18, 2010 Author Posted July 18, 2010 (edited) Speaking person to person he'd still try to use big words out of context. In a text he would say "Is okay" In person he would say "It's okay" This is just one of the many horrible examples. Maybe he's just trying to sound cute? I mean his social and emotional intelligence are relative to a 1st grader. Quite possibly his intelligence too. Maybe it's something to bring attention to himself, who knows but it annoys the hell out of me. No this is not someone trying to play a prank on me. It's a fkn creepy ass friend that won't leave me the fk alone. It's like that seinfeld episode about male unbonding. He says you literally have to wait for someone to die before this relationship can end! Or should I follow George's advice and break up with him like a girl? Look it's me not you, I just don't think this is going to work out. We shouldn't see each other anymore... rofl I really don't know what to do anymore... Edited July 18, 2010 by JadedHeart
You'reasian Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 (edited) Speaking person to person he'd still try to use big words out of context. In a text he would say "Is okay" In person he would say "It's okay" This is just one of the many horrible examples. Maybe he's just trying to sound cute? I mean his social and emotional intelligence are relative to a 1st grader. Quite possibly his intelligence too. Maybe it's something to bring attention to himself, who knows but it annoys the hell out of me. No this is not someone trying to play a prank on me. It's a fkn creepy ass friend that won't leave me the fk alone. It's like that seinfeld episode about male unbonding. He says you literally have to wait for someone to die before this relationship can end! Or should I follow George's advice and break up with him like a girl? Look it's me not you, I just don't think this is going to work out. We shouldn't see each other anymore... rofl I really don't know what to do anymore... Its one thing if he's making threats. Its another if you perceive him as creepy and low social IQ. You're making a big deal out of an annoyance. Thin skinned? Remember, you're the one with the higher emotional IQ here Pull him aside face to face and have a talk with him about the texts. Even better, reference the texts on your phone - time he called, message contents etc. Be cool. Here's what you say? Hey guy, what's up with the excessive texting to my phone? Carry it on from there. Talk it out. Obviously, there would be a corresponding text from his sent box. Tell him that its distracting and needs to stop. Edited July 18, 2010 by You'reasian
whichwayisup Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 I've tried ignoring him, avoiding him, being straight up about not wanting to be friends. Try being honest with him. Tell him that he gets on your nerves, that he used to be fun to hang out with and now he's just a pain in the ass, and you'd prefer not to hang out with him anymore. If he is a jerk then it won't be a surprise to him that you want to end the friendship. He probably knows anyway and is hanging on to see how far he can push you.
Sazerac Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 This situation reminds me of years ago when I had just such a friend. He would call me on the phone (this was another aeon ago when we actually had to use land-line phones ) and keep me chatting for literally hours. When I would finally tell him I needed to go, he would literally start tearing up and saying brokenly, "well- *sniff* -okay- *sniff sniff* I guess you don't like me any more." I first thought he was joking and laughed it off saying, "Right--and I don't like you any less, either," but after multiple times of this I realized he was dead serious. I began becoming... much less available after that. Soon after I moved to Texas and we lost touch and I breathed a well-needed sigh of relief. He was pretty messed up all the way around (dad had committed suicide on the guy's birthday, etc.; very depressive background.) These kind of people are emotional lampreys. At the very least, they have severe abandonment/separation issues. It's best to steer clear of them.
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