AD1980 Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1284519/Why-modest-men-brush-women.html
SteveC80 Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 The bottom line is with the way there wired women will never get in a relationship or stay in one if they think at any time they are better then their Man,for a relationship to work a women in her head has to think her Man is better then her
zengirl Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 When you read the article, and not just the headline, it's odd: The article and study are about folks interviewing for a job, not dating, but the headline implies it's a study about dating and relationships. They also conducted the study on men and women, and men had much the same response.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 I'm fairly modest and that could be the reason I am unsuccessful who knows, but I am not about to change and become an arrogant, tasteless, classless person just to score a ditzy blonde with as much intelligence as a camel's testicle. I do not need the feel to air my proverbial feathers as if I was a peacock. I'll let Simon Cowel do that instead of me. I'm glad you are that way. I do not speak for all women, but actually, in my opinion, the least attractive trait a man can have is being overly cocky. I usually fight with men who behave that way that I know in person. A lot of them insist on putting down others and I absolutely despise that trait in human beings. I could never date someone like that. And it's cute, in my opinion, when guys act modest or insecure about things sometimes. I'm insecure myself about a lot of things and it feels good not to be the only one.
Author AD1980 Posted July 18, 2010 Author Posted July 18, 2010 And it's cute, in my opinion, when guys act modest or insecure about things sometimes. I'm insecure myself about a lot of things and it feels good not to be the only one. Thats nice to hear you realize were human and insecurities are apart of it.. Listening to women on here sometimes they seem to want Men to be suprhuman robots who never lose control or have fears or insecurities and god forbid they do then there not real Men and its a turnoff.. If a Man doesnt have "confidence" [the new vague fluff bs cliche to get women] 100% of the time then hes not attratcive or a Man..
You'reasian Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 The bottom line is with the way there wired women will never get in a relationship or stay in one if they think at any time they are better then their Man,for a relationship to work a women in her head has to think her Man is better then her I'm fairly modest in word, but a little more courageous if you look at action. I fair decently in dating, but could probably do better if I was a little louder.
jamesum Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 If you want a society in which the women are the heads and want submissive men, then live with the bonobos. To tell the truth though, matriarchy in every primate society has been proven to be far more peaceful than patriarchy. The problem is however, such society tends to not survive.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 When you read the article, and not just the headline, it's odd: The article and study are about folks interviewing for a job, not dating, but the headline implies it's a study about dating and relationships. They also conducted the study on men and women, and men had much the same response. I completely agree. I don't think their conclusions are valid for the study they did.
Woggle Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Women complain about the male ego but at the end of the day they are attracted to it.
jamesum Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Well, I have to say being a 'badboy' does attract women. Im the nice guy type, but I know how to pretend to be a 'badboy' and I dot get a lot of attention. Unfortunately, I dont like to pretend. I enjoy being myself even if I get limited attention. Its all a choice.
Woggle Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Well, I have to say being a 'badboy' does attract women. Im the nice guy type, but I know how to pretend to be a 'badboy' and I dot get a lot of attention. Unfortunately, I dont like to pretend. I enjoy being myself even if I get limited attention. Its all a choice. I noticed when I was single I got much more attention when I was in one of my misogynistic use em and lose em moods than when I was in my nice guy moods.
jamesum Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 I noticed when I was single I got much more attention when I was in one of my misogynistic use em and lose em moods than when I was in my nice guy moods. The thing is women especially young women have groupie mentality if you know what I mean. They are not attracted to the person. They are attracted to the vibes.
brainygirl Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 I noticed when I was single I got much more attention when I was in one of my misogynistic use em and lose em moods than when I was in my nice guy moods. Could have been because you weren't as concerned about how well they actually liked you, so you were more confident? I know when I don't care what people think of me I am able to handle things like public speaking better. On this topic, I think that the study has its flaws, but we do have a cultural trend of women marrying men for money, power, prestige. At the same time men have married women to form alliances, gain property, and for beauty. fortunately, we don't have to abide by those mores anymore. (although marrying for life long love and passion hasn't made finding a mate any easier)
You'reasian Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Its when you're in that Friday night, 2-3 beer, in the moment phase. If you can replicate that in all of your dealings with women, you will overcome the confidence bar that women require. Next, you just have to deliver the goods....
Pyro Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 The thing is women especially young women have groupie mentality if you know what I mean. They are not attracted to the person. They are attracted to the vibes. exactly. YOUNG women, as in lacks maturity and self esteem. Does anyone really think that they accomplished something worthy of respect and envy when they are able to pick up the easy girls like that?
GoodOnPaper Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Does anyone really think that they accomplished something worthy of respect and envy when they are able to pick up the easy girls like that? I was never able to do it . . . and if that's supposed to be the easy part, I have failed utterly.
Cracker Jack Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 ^Yeah, same here. I can't believe that's the "easy" part. Damn it!
Pyro Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 I was never able to do it . . . and if that's supposed to be the easy part, I have failed utterly. you really aren't missing anything. For all you know you avoided unwanted STD's, pregnancy, and BS drama. That is something that I never went through. All my relationships were long-term and that is where you learn most IMO.
Left in a Lurch Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 This is funny, I was just thinking about this a little earlier for some reason. I looked at a couple of people married and/or that do well with women, and the difference between them and me is that they tend to brag about themselves and take credit for even little things they do very publicly. One guy had facebook posts bragging about things that are nothing special but the way he worded it made it seem like he just did something amazing to people not knowledgeable about it. He constantly takes credit for things he had very little to do with and really positions it like it was something special he accomplished. Two other guys play on a sports team with me and while they are both good players, when they talk about things they repeat their accomplishments boastfully in front of women and blamed certain failures on everything except themselves. There are a couple of other guys that are single that do the same thing at the bar and it seems to impress women when in fact they are on the low end of talent and ability. I was embarrassed listening to them because I knew the truth. Another guy I know always had a lower job status than I did but when he talked about work he always made it sound like he was the pivotal person in the company and women seemed interested. I just never felt comfortable talking myself up even when I have done something exceptional and definitely never overstate my accomplishments because I felt it was embarrassing to give myself credit to look good. It just seemed like a lie that eventually women would find out the truth as they got to know me more. Everyone says be yourself, but it seems like what works is acting like something exceptional and bragging. I think there is something to it, maybe I should have been telling everyone how great I am and how amazing I am from the beginning.
kdark Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 This is funny, I was just thinking about this a little earlier for some reason. I looked at a couple of people married and/or that do well with women, and the difference between them and me is that they tend to brag about themselves and take credit for even little things they do very publicly. One guy had facebook posts bragging about things that are nothing special but the way he worded it made it seem like he just did something amazing to people not knowledgeable about it. He constantly takes credit for things he had very little to do with and really positions it like it was something special he accomplished. Two other guys play on a sports team with me and while they are both good players, when they talk about things they repeat their accomplishments boastfully in front of women and blamed certain failures on everything except themselves. There are a couple of other guys that are single that do the same thing at the bar and it seems to impress women when in fact they are on the low end of talent and ability. I was embarrassed listening to them because I knew the truth. Another guy I know always had a lower job status than I did but when he talked about work he always made it sound like he was the pivotal person in the company and women seemed interested. I just never felt comfortable talking myself up even when I have done something exceptional and definitely never overstate my accomplishments because I felt it was embarrassing to give myself credit to look good. It just seemed like a lie that eventually women would find out the truth as they got to know me more. Everyone says be yourself, but it seems like what works is acting like something exceptional and bragging. I think there is something to it, maybe I should have been telling everyone how great I am and how amazing I am from the beginning. If you have great accomplishments, don't be afraid to tell people about them. You can always tell them in a way that isn't bragging, but is just plain awesome. When I first learned how to play texas hold 'em, the way I would play, if I had a really good hand, I would bet modestly, and try to trap someone into betting high, and then I would pounce. After reading some poker theory books, I learned that that was the worst way to play good hands. It's the same thing with women. Don't be afraid to tell cool stories about yourself. It's one of the things women find irresistible. Just don't over do it.
Engadget Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 All you need for the perfect life from all these studies is to be: Confident Skinny and Attractive Not hard to do, right?
Pfiend101 Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 I have acted cocky and arrogant in the past. I attracted hot women with ISSUES. But I still attracted them. I am not normally like this. When they get to know the real me they weren't interested. It depends on what you're looking for. If you're looking for random sex with women that have baggage. Being cocky/arrogant will do you wonders. If you're looking for a quality woman for a long term relationship that probably wont get you very far.
kdark Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 When I acted cocky and arrogant, I could see the quality girls getting turned off by it. So I very quickly stopped doing that.
Left in a Lurch Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 If you have great accomplishments, don't be afraid to tell people about them. You can always tell them in a way that isn't bragging, but is just plain awesome. When I first learned how to play texas hold 'em, the way I would play, if I had a really good hand, I would bet modestly, and try to trap someone into betting high, and then I would pounce. After reading some poker theory books, I learned that that was the worst way to play good hands. It's the same thing with women. Don't be afraid to tell cool stories about yourself. It's one of the things women find irresistible. Just don't over do it. I don't disagree, but I always felt you let your actions speak. Telling people about it to credit yourself just seems insecure to me. Guess I won't be that interesting.
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