U2RockZz Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 if you are so much guilt ridden as you put it you would have stopped your A,came clean with your H by now,do not feed BS.....so why waste your H's time and money on a worthless M...why not get a D and then analyze about your priority with your BF.....why did you even marry this guy in the first place..... why do you want to connect with your H when you already have most intimate connection with your coworker behind your H's back anyways..does it make any sense
2sure Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 My H had "affairs" with several women he saw only a few times but texted almost daily with all of the I miss yous etc. Affairs often are made up of 95% emails, calls, texts. So, yes you are the OW or at least a OW. And it does not mean you are a bad person. But you certainly are confused. This is not working for you on a bunch of levels. This is not your thing, you are not going to get comfortable with it - whether he convinces you he has feelings or not - you really really want to take care of this.
Author sarkandlauren Posted July 19, 2010 Author Posted July 19, 2010 I am not lying. I do feel sick to my stomach about my actions. I am very guilt ridden, I have a hard time looking into my H's eyes. I know I'm a mess and I need to sort things out. I felt like i'm going around and around trying to figure out his feeling, and I don't even know why I needed to know so bad.
U2RockZz Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 if you have cancer,i don't think you would still try to smoke or drink....so whatever guilt and feeling sick is loads of BS.....you already had your H yet you went on to have R with OM...now since he is not treating as you wanted to treated you again wanted to connect to your H(what a fool he is been)....i don't really think there will be any end to your attention seeking behavior ever....so better get a D...so that your H can have meaningful/useful R with some worthy person...what right you have to waste anybody's time or money
bestplayer Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 I am not lying. I do feel sick to my stomach about my actions. I am very guilt ridden, I have a hard time looking into my H's eyes. I know I'm a mess and I need to sort things out. I felt like i'm going around and around trying to figure out his feeling, and I don't even know why I needed to know so bad. I think if you are so desperate to figure out OM's feelings for you , do it once you are done with your H . The way you are pinning for your lover , clearly shows that your H stands nowhere . From your posts I can tell you that the day your OM expresses desire to be with you , you would dump , your H . It happens , go read , there are so many stories on this site ends like that . So if you are really guilt ridden as you say , you should let your H go , & then pursue your relationship with OM .
fooled once Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Come to think of it, I dont' think I really am in a position to be in this kind of relationship. I simply cannot handle the emotional part of this. I am fine usually during the week when we are in contact, I know he thinks about me at times, and that's all it matters. But when it comes to weekends, I started to have doubts, strong doubts. Is it that hard to send me a text out of the 48hrs? I also get very emotional immediately after I see him. It's a mixture of really missing him, sadness, etc. Counseling seems like a good idea, I briefly looked online and i cannot believe how expensive they are. You don't matter to him, that is why he doesn't text you when he is with his wife. You are his friend, with benefits. You are his play toy, his distraction. You are an ego boost to him. When he is with his wife, that is his main focus. You are jealous of that - whether you want to admit it or not. End your marriage and set your H free. The feel free to continue to pursue this MM. But be prepared to just be his sex toy.
jnj express Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 What was/is wrong with your mge., and or husband----Stop giving us BS, and all these excuses. A person who is happily married and in love does not spit on their sacred vows, you are treating your mge., as if it were meaningless, and your H. is a doormat to you. I guess your Hosp. schedule allows you to see the other guy and cheat with him physcially. You have become a very deceitful liar, and a conniving manipulator----when if ever do you intend to stop. You write this drivel, about your guilt, yet you continue on and on and on---and the ONLY THING ON YOUR MIND, is how to figure out what is the other guy thinking, and how to pleasure yourself. Do you know the difference tween selfish, and selfless----maybe you need to look in a mirror------what you will see is selfish. Do you intend to take your dirty, dark, little secret to the grave with you. If you are interning to be a Dr., I do hope it is not to be a general practitioner/family dr.---because once again if you look in a mirror you will see a hippocite. I would hope no patient ever asks you for help with issues of the heart------what could you possibly give them for advice ---the cheaters handbook. Stop with all your patronizing guilt, and either dump your A., or give your H. a D.
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