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If you are the dumpee, how much time passed before your dumper contacted you after NC

Thorgs

By Thorgs
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Thorgs Established Member

Thorgs

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Just looking to hear your stories because I'm having a rough time right now :(

cleveraccountname Member

cleveraccountname

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Hi buddy, sorry to hear you are having such a rough time, I can assure you that it WILL get better. I was dumped and was contacted by the dumper on multiple occasions through text and a message or two delivered through friends. Now, despite wanting desperately to reply to the messages, after discussing the content of them with friends, I decided that they did not deserve a reply. Often ex-partners are NOT to be trusted. I was contacted within a few days, and I didnt reply, and now nothing for about a week or so. If you do recieve contact, do not make yourself readily available, no matter how great they were - they don't deserve that (unless you were 100% to blame for the breakup due to unforgivable crimes...but I doubt it!)

 

Getting contact isn't always the best thing for you. I know you want to feel like you are still cared about, and that they still think about you, but it's not good to rely on their approval in order to boost your self esteem. Build a support network with family, friends and Loveshack, and eventually you won't care whether they contact you or not. I don't mean to say that there's no hope for you in the future, for your relationship, but in order for that to have a chance - ironically - you have to let it go.

 

I wish you the absolute best and don't hesitate to post any further questions. Sorry, i went on a bit!

Username37 Established Member

Username37

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During my break up, she initiated contact like....10 times. Me, I initiated it like 4 times.

 

She FB messaged me and chatted me. She wanted to "check up on me"

She also started some texts and called me twice (nothing special)

 

Then some stuff went down and I went NC starting June 20th.

 

During my NC run, she broke it and got her brother to send me a birthday letter. I didn't reply back.

 

Haven't gotten any form of contact yet. I'm waiting. I personality think she wants me to make the first move.

LoveTruthChaos Established Member

LoveTruthChaos

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I have neither given or recieved contact since the day of the breakup.

 

That will never change.

DenverBachelor Established Member

DenverBachelor

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Day #1 (Breakup)

Day #2 "Hey you got this?"

Day #3 "Hey you got that?"

Day #4 "Hey you got this?"

Day #5 (me) Stop contacting me

Day #30 (me) Have a nice Thanksgiving

Day #40 (her) Restraining Order

Day #54 (court) Extended 120 Day Restraining Order

Day #287 No contact and counting

 

Simplified, but if you are lucky, they won't contact you, nor should you contact them. Let sleeping dogs lie.

bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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As I dumpee, I've yet to hear from my recent breakup (not this last one where I dumped her)...

 

And honestly? It's for the best. For her. For me.

jquest1280 Member

jquest1280

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2 months after NC I greeted dumper on his birthday, and a few months later he greeted me on mine. Just simple greetings, and no further conversation. Of course I was hoping for an extra super special b-day greeting from him and of course I was disappointed when all I got was the generic kind.

 

After some time, it hurts less, you hope less, and you care less that you are contacted. That's how it has to be. Sorry, mate...I feel for you, we know it's rough, but it gets better...really. Instead of waiting for dumper to contact you, distract yourself with productive activities you enjoy: sports? music? travel? books? writing? photography? and so on...

DustySaltus Established Member

DustySaltus

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2 years, but I was with someone else.

soleharmony1123 Established Member

soleharmony1123

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My ex asked for a break 6 months ago, and the very next day, he was calling as if the breakup never happened, and has been consistent every week since.

 

Finally, a week ago, he asked me to meet him for lunch. Last week, we met for lunch. It went well. He later mentioned that he wants to see me on his day off from work. We had lunch on Thursday of last week.

lullaby Established Member

lullaby

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It took him 20 days to contact me after the break up. He wanted to know how I was doing. I didn't contact him again, and a week after that he reappeared to invite me for a cup of coffee. From then on, we started to talk everyday, with texts, calls and even meeting, for about two months.

I got tired of it and been in NC since June 29th :(

Stymie123 Member

Stymie123

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Day 10 post break up - she called, texted, emailed, and fb'd me telling me it was a huge mistake.

 

Day 17 she said she isn't ready to be with anyone...yet

 

Day 24 she txts to say she doesn't want to let go.

 

We spend the next 14 days seeing each other and texting/talking.

 

Day 39 she says she loves me but isn't ready....yet

 

Today is day 48.

 

I'm looking forward to the day I stop counting.

paleblue Established Member

paleblue

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Just looking to hear your stories because I'm having a rough time right now :(

 

i know this isn't what you want to hear but you should not be thinking about when your ex dumper is going to contact you. you should be thinking about yourself right now.

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Thorgs Established Member

Thorgs

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i know this isn't what you want to hear but you should not be thinking about when your ex dumper is going to contact you. you should be thinking about yourself right now.

I know, I'm just having a really rough time.

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