Argument ive been having with my boyfriend over what he thinks is a double standard

[Sweetie1977]

The other day we were talking about some girl we know and my boyfriend said something like i dont understand why shes single shes hot

 

I got mad and didnt like it at all he then said how i always talk about guys i think are hot including his friend and he says how he doesnt complain about that and i told him how its different

 

Women are judged by their outward appereances it constant competition and judgement we get from everyone our looks are very important so if a Man says how hot anotehr girl is it puts us on the defensive where Men are judged nearly as much on what thye look like they can make up for so so looks with status money and other things

 

Am i right in this or is he right that its a double standard?

[Odyssey]

i think you're wrong - there is simply no difference. But you two reacted differently is all (he manage to control himself. You got mad). Just work it out. Talk to him 'cause clearly you're not ok with it.

[tigressA]

In this situation it doesn't matter what girls or guys are judged on in society. It's a double standard for sure within the context of your relationship. If you don't want him talking about other girls, then stop talking about other guys. It's that simple. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

[collegeguy_24]

Assuming I understood your horrible grammar, You are asking if it counts as a double standard if you can say a man is hot, but your boyfriend can't about women?

 

Yes! That is a double standard, you are doing one thing and expecting your BF to not do it? That is the very definition of double standard. You should apologize to the poor guy for the way you treated him on that, cause you are 100 percent in the wrong.

[Citizen Erased]

Double standard. It is downright disrespectful to check out other people/say they're hot when you're with your own bf.

[Enchanted Girl]

Honestly, you're probably not going to find even one person here who agrees with your viewpoint.

[Serenitynow]

I think you have an immature, jealous thought process.

[Engadget]

Double standard. It is downright disrespectful to check out other people/say they're hot when you're with your own bf.

 

Total double standard but remarking on other hot people isn't always a bad thing. If you're comfortable enough with your SO it can be quite fun.

[Sweetie1977]

Double standard. It is downright disrespectful to check out other people/say they're hot when you're with your own bf.

 

I dont say it to him while other people are right there its usually in the context of a conversation about that person,or if im watching tv and ill say a celebrity i think is hot but who doesnt do that?

[Untouchable_Fire]

I dont say it to him while other people are right there its usually in the context of a conversation about that person,or if im watching tv and ill say a celebrity i think is hot but who doesnt do that?

 

Nope... your still wrong. No matter how you spin the context... your wrong.

 

If you can't take it... don't dish it out!

[Enchanted Girl]

Nope... your still wrong. No matter how you spin the context... your wrong.

 

If you can't take it... don't dish it out!

 

I agree. I think there's nothing wrong with people having this standard if they put the same standard on themselves as well, but you aren't doing that.

[Serenitynow]

I dont say it to him while other people are right there its usually in the context of a conversation about that person,or if im watching tv and ill say a celebrity i think is hot but who doesnt do that?

 

 

I dont

 

 

 

 

.

Edited July 18, 2010 by Serenitynow

[Enchanted Girl]

I dont

 

 

 

 

.

 

LOL. Yea, me neither.

[Citizen Erased]

I dont

 

 

 

 

.

Yeah, me either. Considering he is the hottest person to me, I much rather spend the time discussing why he's hot to me, not other people.

[Serenitynow]

People create a false sense of reality in their mind pertaining to how a celebrity acts, or how that celebrity would interact with them, if they had a chance to spend time with him/her.

 

Its quite a selfish state of mind, actually. To be so attracted to someone that you have never met.

[AD1980]

People create a false sense of reality in their mind pertaining to how a celebrity acts, or how that celebrity would interact with them, if they had a chance to spend time with him/her.

 

 

Women are much wore then Men with this..Men see a hot celebrity and think how hot that person and thast where it ends is women do that plus envison going out with or marrying that stranger..Women dont get called out for this as much as they should for this..Its very creepy and almost stalkerish behavior...

[flying]

The other day we were talking about some girl we know and my boyfriend said something like i dont understand why shes single shes hot

 

I got mad and didnt like it at all he then said how i always talk about guys i think are hot including his friend and he says how he doesnt complain about that and i told him how its different

 

Women are judged by their outward appereances it constant competition and judgement we get from everyone our looks are very important so if a Man says how hot anotehr girl is it puts us on the defensive where Men are judged nearly as much on what thye look like they can make up for so so looks with status money and other things

 

Am i right in this or is he right that its a double standard?

 

He's right, it's a double standard. And creating that double standard, IMO, actually perpetuates the different ways men and women are judged on their looks. Should be the same for everyone, right? Don't add to the problem; if you feel like commenting on other men - including his friends! - and their hotness, you're opening the door for him to feel that it's allowed. Can't have it both ways.

[AD1980]

I never got people who felt the need to tell their partner how hot they think so and so is even if its a harmless celebrity crush,why would your partner want to hear that?

 

Are you trying to make them jealous? Keep it to yourself

[jamesum]

The other day we were talking about some girl we know and my boyfriend said something like i dont understand why shes single shes hot

 

I got mad and didnt like it at all he then said how i always talk about guys i think are hot including his friend and he says how he doesnt complain about that and i told him how its different

 

Women are judged by their outward appereances it constant competition and judgement we get from everyone our looks are very important so if a Man says how hot anotehr girl is it puts us on the defensive where Men are judged nearly as much on what thye look like they can make up for so so looks with status money and other things

 

Am i right in this or is he right that its a double standard?

Oh god, you sound like those stereotypical women on TV who give women on this planet a bad rep.

[Enchanted Girl]

Oh god, you sound like those stereotypical women on TV who give women on this planet a bad rep.

 

I would have to agree.

[Serenitynow]

I would have to agree with Enchanted Girl agreeing that Jamesum is correct.

[jamesum]

It all sounds so 'sitcom-ish' and I assume she is 33. Definitely not a teenager anymore ...

[MrNate]

Well Ms. 1977, I think you see the answer here.

 

Want him to stop calling girls hot? Then you stop calling guys hot.

 

You're not entitled to a pass at all.

 

Problem solved.

[phineas]

you can tell him his friend is hot but you get bent when he says the same thing about your friend?

 

[brainygirl]

This is why men get to say women are crazy and be somewhat credible .. .. .. Lady, if you get to, he does. If he doesn't get to, you don't get to. Quit being an immature baby.