EYECANDY000 Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 My ex are now broken up for the umpteenth time. Each time we break up its never easy. He always gives in and text me a week or 2 later and we are back together. And we are a happy couple, that is until he starts to push me away again. Its sort of a cycle. Well this time, I think he wanted out of the relationship again so so he blew up at me about an old friend texting me. I responded to the friend and 2 wordrd answers and left it at that. I know how my bf is so jealous. So I decided not to respond anymore. Well my bf blew up! And we had an argrument hat carried over for 2 days. I tried to show him the text and show him that this is just an old friend who asked how I was doing and I responded ok.. I don't know how its just escalated to the point where we are no longer speaking again. The next day I responded to my friends text and stated that I was over my bf house and asked what was up? He said nothing I was around your neighborhood. Remind you, we have never been romantic and my bf knows that. Well later that day I showed up at my bf's house to reconcile and he asked if I talked to my friend. And I said yes.. I said I sent him a text saying I was over your youse. My bf thought I was tring to hide our relationship, so that's the reason why I responded back to the text. Well he closed the door in my face and called me and told me its over, he hates me, and to leave.. and he's going back to his ex I also have a current thread in 'dating' about my bf titled bf doesn't trust women because his mom neglected him as a baby.. Anyways its been 4 days now, and I want to call him and say I'm sorry annd I love him. I honestly don't know what I'm sorry for, but I just want to reconcile it. I want to text him, but I don't want to give in like I'm the one in the wrong.. I'm thinking of either texting him tomorrow, or Wednesday which is his birthday... I some how want to be talked out of it, but I miss him.. I understand I'm a grown woman and will still do whatever I want to do but advice is needed... I'm hurting over here!
princessjasmine Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 Honestly. "We break up all the time"... "This time there was this text"... "So he said this, so then I did that"..."So then I said did you speak to so and so, and he said no, but then I said this, and he said that" This all sounds very trivial, which is why so many people have read your post and not one has replied as they read it and think, what a joke. The adult thing to do, is say, this is clearly going nowhere, before we waste any more of our time with childish "breaks" over text messages, whatever, etc etc, we should cut loose so that we have a chance of meeting someone to have a meaningful, adult relationship with. What I suspect you will do is carry on with this ridiculous scenario as you clearly both love the drama. I'm not being mean, or being patronising, but this is the kind of nonsense you would hear from a 14 year old girl when she thinks her first boyfriend is the one she will marry, can you not see how silly it is. Hope you wake up and smell the coffee soon, you may be missing out on something really special.
whatarmy Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Princess jasmine, is there a personal reason your "advice" needed to sound so condescending? Do you feel perhaps that her relationship is not as important or mature as yours and is therefore not worth discussing? The title gives you an insight itself, she is posting this to stop herself from texting her ex boyfriend, so she needed to vent and of course, because this is a forum, she wants some feedback. Eyecandy - he said he's going back to his ex. Just a few theories here. a) He wants to reunite with his previous ex and was waiting for a chance to blow anything out of proportion so he could break up with you with a get-out-of-jail-guilt-free card type excuse. b) He is controlling and manipulative, reflecting his own insecurities onto the relationship and doesn't like you to be in contact with other males, therefore he is punishing you by doing this. c) A combination of the above. If one of your girlfriends was going through something like this, I'm sure you'd have some good advice. So posting here to vent and prevent contact is good, but if you're looking for validation as to why you should go back to him, then you won't find it. You have no reason to apologise to him, it should be the other way round, and if he was bluffing about the ex, then he will come back to you as you mentioned often happens.
A Hot Mess Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 a) He wants to reunite with his previous ex and was waiting for a chance to blow anything out of proportion so he could break up with you with a get-out-of-jail-guilt-free card type excuse. This. He was looking for a reason to leave, so he could be with his ex, whom I'm sure he's been talking to for a while behind your back. Many times when someone accuses their partner of being unfaithful (over stupid little things and without prior reason) it's usually a sign they're doing just that themselves. Sounds like it might be time to let his ex deal with his issues again, and go find someone else.
princessjasmine Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 No, I'm not trying to act superior/mean/patronising etc It's just one of those frustrating ones where you want to bang their head off a wall for not being able to see the woods for the trees...if she sat and read her post out loud to herself, surely a light bulb must go on in her head and she'll have that enlightening moment of "What the f*ck am I doing? This guy is a chump, and this thing we've been calling a relationship is ridiculous." She will. It might take her a little while, but she will.
Author EYECANDY000 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Princess jasmine, is there a personal reason your "advice" needed to sound so condescending? Do you feel perhaps that her relationship is not as important or mature as yours and is therefore not worth discussing? The title gives you an insight itself, she is posting this to stop herself from texting her ex boyfriend, so she needed to vent and of course, because this is a forum, she wants some feedback. Eyecandy - he said he's going back to his ex. Just a few theories here. a) He wants to reunite with his previous ex and was waiting for a chance to blow anything out of proportion so he could break up with you with a get-out-of-jail-guilt-free card type excuse. b) He is controlling and manipulative, reflecting his own insecurities onto the relationship and doesn't like you to be in contact with other males, therefore he is punishing you by doing this. c) A combination of the above. If one of your girlfriends was going through something like this, I'm sure you'd have some good advice. So posting here to vent and prevent contact is good, but if you're looking for validation as to why you should go back to him, then you won't find it. You have no reason to apologise to him, it should be the other way round, and if he was bluffing about the ex, then he will come back to you as you mentioned often happens. Thank you Whatamy for replying, I actually did break down and text him. and it wasnt the response I was looking for. I texted him around 9:30 pm after keeping myself busy at work. and when I got home , I broke down. I got myself so worked up and i tried to resist not to contact him. Well he didnt respond to early this morning which tells me he was busy. We had a long convo by text, I was getting ready for work so couldnt talk on the phone. Basically he said after I pushed him away he met someone new 2 days later. and he wants to see where things go with her. But that he loves me and this isnt goodbye. I begged and pleaded for him to reconsider but it seemed like his mind was made up. I do belive that this is a new person he has met and not someone he was talking to while he was with me. I now feel like my whole world has completly changed. Although we have broken up plenty of times, hes never started dating someone new .
Author EYECANDY000 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 No, I'm not trying to act superior/mean/patronising etc It's just one of those frustrating ones where you want to bang their head off a wall for not being able to see the woods for the trees...if she sat and read her post out loud to herself, surely a light bulb must go on in her head and she'll have that enlightening moment of "What the f*ck am I doing? This guy is a chump, and this thing we've been calling a relationship is ridiculous." She will. It might take her a little while, but she will. Princessjane, Although your message did come off as a bit harsh, I can understand the reasoning behind it. I am 28 years old and this is by far my furst real relationship. and this is the first time I have been in love with someone. But have you ever been so in love with someone where you know that you shouldnt be with them but you cant leave? Unfortunaly I dont have any close girlfriends to talk to , so ill come on here to read posts and to vent. Reading other people post helps me a lot because I know im not alone. Ive re- read my post and if it was one of my gf's I would tell her she needs to get a grip. and get over this guy. I guess I need to take my own advice.
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