Shhh0502 Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 I was married when I was 18 years old and now I'm almost 20, and a lot has changed. I have been with my husband since I was 16 years old and have been close friends prior to dating for 3 years. I was getting ready for my ship date to leave for basic trainging and I started to have serious doubts about my relationship. I was insecure about leaving and started to tell myself i was to young to be so commited and if I didn't leave him then that I would only be prolonging the inevitable. I then started talking to someone else and broke up with my husband, boyfriend at the time. At this time we were living together and we were still living together after the break up buy only for a couple short days. I decided to go on a date with my new crush. I went out twodays after our breakup and wentout for pretty much all night. I would say we got home around 3am. When I arrived back home my ex at the time was waiting up for me and started to confront me about going out. Me being drunk and not wanting to fight I packed my bags and left. For the next month I dated around mostly with only one person the guy I had gone on a date with. Durring our break up I never slept with anybody else. In fact I tried to because I wntd so bad for some sort of conflict to arise and we definately be done, but I couldn't sleep with anyone else and I missed him. A month later we spoke and decided to get back together. In a flurry of emotions and a month until I was going to leave we thought we should get married before I left so we did. I left for a few months then came home and things were good for about 8 months and now here I am about 15 months after my weeding and I find myself second guessing all the same exact factors. And I find myself interested in my same crush again. And about a month and a half ago I drunkenly cheated on my husband and I did the same again last night. Except for I don't exactly regret last night because it wa with someone I have felt drawn to for a long time. I don't know if I should leave my husband or if I am acting our for reasons unknown to myself.
wrencn Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 May I ask, why did you marry your husband at such a young age? Were you deeply in love? Is he going to join the military too? I'm not trying to be cynical but I met my husband in basic training and we were married when I was 19. It is a very hard life. We both left active duty about 8 years ago to try to save our marriage. I'm not saying you can't be happily married in the military but it takes a lot of work and you have to be dedicated 100% because your marriage is going to be put to the test. I hear the army is shortening deployments to 9 months and offering 3 years of stabilization. Not sure which branch you are in though. What does your husband lack that this new guy offers? Or is something lacking in you that you are searching for? Are you looking for happiness in a man? I mean at 19, do you have any idea what you want out of life? I'm not trying to talk down to you- it's just the wife I was at 19 and the wife I am at 31 are totally different women.
hopesndreams Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 You need to tell your H you cheated. That's step 1.
habs53 Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 You need to tell your H you cheated. That's step 1. Yep, there is no beating around the bush with hopes, and she is correct.
spriggig Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 And about a month and a half ago I drunkenly cheated on my husband and I did the same again last night. Except for I don't exactly regret last night because it wa with someone I have felt drawn to for a long time. I don't know if I should leave my husband or if I am acting our for reasons unknown to myself. You're not ready to be married, simple as that. You got drunk and screwed one guy and then you screwed another guy just because you "felt drawn" to him for a long time? You're not too young to be committed, you're too immature. On top of that, you're not even committed. You need to own up to what you've done, get divorced and move on with your life in a more responsible way. You're husband deserves his freedom to to the same.
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