Silvermantis19 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Hi, this is my first time posting here, though I have read various threads for awhile. Here's my issue and I'll try to keep it short and to the point. I dated this girl for almost 2 years, we met at work and we're the best of friends all through this. We went alot of great places together and met eachother's family. I was kind to her parents and always respectful. We had our share of minor disagreements but every healthy couple does. And sometimes harsh things we're said but I never yelled at her, cursed at or hit her and I always apologized if I was out of line. We told eachother everyday that we loved one another and she always told me things like "You're my god-send" and that I spoiled her by treating her to the movies and cooking for her. I told her often how beautiful I thought she was. Well, we have a small disagreement this past Valentine's day, because it was hectic and my folks anted to see her but she worked that day. We still ate together and I gave her gifts as well as took her to see a movie. Fast-forward a month later, I admit to her that due to financial reasons, I was not able to attend the school we normally attend together. I had to take a semester at a community college and she became upset, because I wasn't upfront to begin with, but I told her, I was scared of her reaction and embaressed. She breaks up with me because I "lied to her face". She calls me the next day, and says she wants to make up and we talk for awhile and agree to drop the past and let things be. Well some time later in March, I'm on the way to see a concert with her. I hit some traffic so I text her and say "6-10 is clear huh? :(". I was just trying to let her know that I may be kind of late. She calls me and asks if I'm mad at her, I say "no sweetie, I'm just caught in traffic and a lil upset that it's so bad". She still gets offended, and when I arrive at her house, I find her on the couch with her arms crossed and looking mad. I ask her to just let it go, I wasn't mad at her and we should just enjoy our day together. She sends me home and an hour later, she calls me and says that we're broken up. I try to talk to her but all she does it cut me off, saying "NO NO! I'm hanging up in 5 seconds". I don't know what I did wrong, I know we had a rough start to 2010, but I told her that we could take on anything as long as we work together. And jsut the day before the break-up she was telling me that she loved me so much. How can someone who I loved with all my heart for almost 2 years, just become so cold and abandon me? It's been 4 months, will she ever come back?
Theideaofme Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Hey, i know that this response won't really aid you in anyway, but it could at least help you to have a little perspective. (Probably nothing you haven't read on LS before though..) Our current situations are similar, 3years together, disagreements here and there, occasional harsh unnecessary things being said, her being upset at the fact that you're upset, her hanging up to resolve the conflict, and being broken up for the past 4 months.. but she moved on in less than one month to a guy who apparently is showing her what "TRUE" happiness is. I've been told by my friends that the way some people manage to move on so forcefully and quickly is a defense mechanism that's establish at some time BEFORE the eventual break up. It does several things for the breaker, it weans their feelings off of your own, it at the same time allows them to have the courage and emotional distance to break things off and not feel that bad (because they distanced themselves). Someone also told me that it's possible that their feelings were never really in the relationship from the beginning. As much as that sucks to hear, it's sad to know that there are actually people out there who force themselves to feel certain ways or believe certain things, and so they can change their feelings as if it's a simple switch in their brain. Will she come back? No one knows, maybe not even her.. you can ask her, or you can just sit back and wait. I've tried both. So far with no success.
Author Silvermantis19 Posted July 17, 2010 Author Posted July 17, 2010 I don't know. She was so happy and content with me for so long, but when she broke up with me, she was very cold and distant. She wouldn't even give me a last kiss.
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