melowoman Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Why do some men have to have at least two women in their lives? Is it the thrill of sneaking around? Are they insecure? What is it?
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Why do some men have to have at least two women in their lives? Is it the thrill of sneaking around? Are they insecure? What is it? Most times it's trust issues. The guys I know who do this tend to have a "Ill get her before she gets me" attitude. Sometimes it's pure insecurity.
TaraMaiden Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 For exactly the same reason as some women have more than one man in their lives. And you'd have to ask each individual woman, why she does it, an as much as you'd also have to ask each individual man, why he does it. The reasons are as legion as the people doing it.....
Silly_Girl Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 My x-bf had low self-esteem, mostly borne out of childhood issues. He dealt with this by scaring me and being violent, and by keeping a list of women on rotation to make him feel as though he was worthy in some way (even though I gave him more love than all his family, partners and friends put together). It was a buzz for him, and he thought it meant he must be a 'good person', to get attention from others.
Circular Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 There is no cookie cutter answer and statistically there are nearly as many women who do the same it's just that our society believes it's a male dominated problem and its loaded with double standards. As usual TM gave the best response
jj33 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 In many cases I dont think its that one woman is not enough. It can be that they dont know how to negotiate the relationship that they have so that it fulfills their needs, that there is something going on within themselves that they need validation elsewhere, or that the relationship truly isnt working and should end for whatever reason the WS isnt ready to confront unraveling hte marriage.
OWoman Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Why do some men have to have at least two women in their lives? Is it the thrill of sneaking around? Are they insecure? What is it? Some people are just really bad at goodbyes. Rather than actively end something they're done with, they hope that by moving on to the next one, the one left behind will fizzle out by itself, dying of natural causes so that they don't have to pull the plug.
SoMovinOn Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Why do some men have to have at least two women in their lives? Is it the thrill of sneaking around? Are they insecure? What is it? For the same reasons some women have more than one man.
pureinheart Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Why do some men have to have at least two women in their lives? Is it the thrill of sneaking around? Are they insecure? What is it? You know what MW...I don't have the foggiest idea...ExDM used to tell me he wished he could have both of us...that pissed me off sooooo bad. Some get the thrill, some it's about ego etc...I know I was a big ego boost for several reasons. Personally try not to operate in ego:), although it does happen.
pureinheart Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 My x-bf had low self-esteem, mostly borne out of childhood issues. He dealt with this by scaring me and being violent, and by keeping a list of women on rotation to make him feel as though he was worthy in some way (even though I gave him more love than all his family, partners and friends put together). It was a buzz for him, and he thought it meant he must be a 'good person', to get attention from others. Wow, I am so sorry about the abuse:mad:...that was uncalled for. I can relate to this bigtime, exDM was not violent though. My 2nd exH started main-lining steroids and became REALLY violent and tried to kill me so I left...oh he also started seeing many others too. He was fine before the steroids.
pureinheart Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 In many cases I dont think its that one woman is not enough. It can be that they dont know how to negotiate the relationship that they have so that it fulfills their needs, that there is something going on within themselves that they need validation elsewhere, or that the relationship truly isnt working and should end for whatever reason the WS isnt ready to confront unraveling hte marriage. I think also some like to have a lot of prospects in case one fails/leaves...plenty of back ups. Yep JJ attention...that one might be the main motivating reason.
fooled once Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Why do some men have to have at least two women in their lives? Is it the thrill of sneaking around? Are they insecure? What is it? The thrill The excitement Unsatisfied by one, yet unwilling to let go of that one before moving on. I think you would have to ask a cheater why he chose to cheat. Of course, few will own why they did it; most likely it will be blamed on their SO, it was their fault some how.
Mombot Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Some people are just really bad at goodbyes. Rather than actively end something they're done with, they hope that by moving on to the next one, the one left behind will fizzle out by itself, dying of natural causes so that they don't have to pull the plug. It is easier to start a fresh new relationship than to go head to head with an exhaustingly stubborn spouse. Throw in money issues, sometimes children, health issues and who owns the insurance and just plain not wanting to deal... and you've got another W/M.
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