daydreamerz Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 I have always been a very jealous person and it's one of the things I hate most about myself. It has to do with my low self esteem and how I always think I'm beneath other people. Recently it's been causing trouble in my relationship. I only have a small group of people(my boyfriend, a small circle of really good friends, and my family) who I really feel completely comfortable with, and with everyone else, no matter how long I've known them I feel insecure and anxious around. I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of years but I still feel really uncomfortable with his family even though they've been nothing but nice to me. I always feel like they think I'm weird or think that my boyfriend could find someone better than me. His mom is a little overbearing at times and really intimidates me. He's extremely close with his sister and a lot of time I get jealous over their relationship....which I know is completely abnormal and it makes me really mad at myself. Every time we hang out with his sister though I feel like they just completely ignore me, and he is always bragging about how wonderful she is. I know that it has a lot to do with me feeling insecure and not asserting myself enough when I'm hanging out with them, but it still bothers me. I recently got into a fight with him about all of this, and afterwards I just felt so stupid, because I know that I am being completely ridiculous and that I am pushing him away. The worst part is that this has been something that has effected my relationships in the past(both with guys and with my friends). I'm just trying to figure out some way that I can start to not feel like this so much, and I guess I realize that it comes down to working on my self esteem but that just seems like such a large task and it's something that I've always struggled with. I don't even know where to begin...
stace79 Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 I have always been a very jealous person and it's one of the things I hate most about myself. It has to do with my low self esteem and how I always think I'm beneath other people. Recently it's been causing trouble in my relationship. I only have a small group of people(my boyfriend, a small circle of really good friends, and my family) who I really feel completely comfortable with, and with everyone else, no matter how long I've known them I feel insecure and anxious around. I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of years but I still feel really uncomfortable with his family even though they've been nothing but nice to me. I always feel like they think I'm weird or think that my boyfriend could find someone better than me. His mom is a little overbearing at times and really intimidates me. He's extremely close with his sister and a lot of time I get jealous over their relationship....which I know is completely abnormal and it makes me really mad at myself. Every time we hang out with his sister though I feel like they just completely ignore me, and he is always bragging about how wonderful she is. I know that it has a lot to do with me feeling insecure and not asserting myself enough when I'm hanging out with them, but it still bothers me. I recently got into a fight with him about all of this, and afterwards I just felt so stupid, because I know that I am being completely ridiculous and that I am pushing him away. The worst part is that this has been something that has effected my relationships in the past(both with guys and with my friends). I'm just trying to figure out some way that I can start to not feel like this so much, and I guess I realize that it comes down to working on my self esteem but that just seems like such a large task and it's something that I've always struggled with. I don't even know where to begin... Unfortunately I think this sort of problem requires ongoing help with a therapist. I struggle with jealousy/insecurity, too, and it stems from the fact that I'm not happy with myself. It's a hard thing to deal with and perhaps impossible to solve alone. Good news is that at least you know about your problem! Many people go through life unaware that they could improve or things could be different! Take that and build on it, if you can!
BettyBoop Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I hope you won't find this offensive to ask - but have you ever had an eating disorder? I know my jelaousy issues steem from not being able to control a situation...I had anorexia because food was the only thing I could control and I like being able to feel in control of things. It makes me feel secure, like knowing what I will be doing the next day etc...then the key is to get to a point where you realise the only thing you can control is your own actions. And find peace in that. Either way I also would recommend a therapist since your jelaousy issues seem to go deeper with you even feeling bad about his relationship with his sister. :/ Best of luck...
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