SummerLady Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 I can't deny it anymore..I know you have all heard me BTCH!! about my weight. I def have a problem. I am NOT happy if I weight over 111. Doesn't matter if its 114 or 115..After much research I have discovered I am bulimic. This is hard to accept but I fit the profile. I do not puke or use exlax. Once I eat the food its mine. But I do drastic dieting after eating too much and so the cycle continues. I work out 5 days a week, if not I would gain. Its a control thing, self esteem, stress and much more. Ugh I am just so tired. I look great, why do I beat myself up so much? I am much harder on myself than others. I just can't do it anymore. My SO def has an idea but I don't think he knows for sure. He says you get too skinny sometimes too skinny you look great why do you do that? Anyone else have this...I just want to eat normal.......And live freely. Enough!!
girlygirl25 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 I can't deny it anymore..I know you have all heard me BTCH!! about my weight. I def have a problem. I am NOT happy if I weight over 111. Doesn't matter if its 114 or 115..After much research I have discovered I am bulimic. This is hard to accept but I fit the profile. I do not puke or use exlax. Once I eat the food its mine. But I do drastic dieting after eating too much and so the cycle continues. I work out 5 days a week, if not I would gain. Its a control thing, self esteem, stress and much more. Ugh I am just so tired. I look great, why do I beat myself up so much? I am much harder on myself than others. I just can't do it anymore. My SO def has an idea but I don't think he knows for sure. He says you get too skinny sometimes too skinny you look great why do you do that? Anyone else have this...I just want to eat normal.......And live freely. Enough!! That's not Bulimia, that's binge eating disorder. After overeating, a person with this disorder compensates by extreme dieting and exercise to make up for the food consumed. Obsession with the scale is common with this disorder. Do you feel guilty if you eat a food that you think is "bad" or wrong"? I know this because I struggle as well. ((Hugs))
GrayClouds Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Congratulation on having to courage to admit the issue. Your not alone a good chunk of those in the gym with you are too motivated by fear not love. Exercising is such a good thing that when it becomes more about fear it really difficult knowing when it cross that line. It is so easy to say at least I am not drinking, drugging, sexing and laugh it off. And it a symptom of something else often eating issues. Eating issues can be very challenging. Though you took a good step and said it, now it time to find the courage and let those who matters know, so they can support you as you work back to a place of balance, most likely with the help of a professional. Good luck.
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