threebyfate Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 Right. I'm not even going to discuss exactly why he's doing the 'no sex' thing. I'm going right into the exclusivity question. If he says no to that, then that's all I need to know. My gut says he isn't jacking me around, but there still is the chance that he just doesn't want to be exclusive--that's what's bugging me. And it's not like if he has been seeing others that he's betrayed me, since there's been no agreement on exclusivity as yet. I've been free to see others this whole time too, but I haven't since no one else interests me.Sounds like a plan. Keep your cool and keep it down-low.
CLC2008 Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 You really think just because you ask him, that he's gonna be truthful ? And how does anyone think they can read anything from a response ? If people were so good at it, there would a lot less cheating. Hopefully, if he has any decency, he will be forthright with her. And at this point, all she can do is take his word. The rest will follow....
Author tigressA Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Hopefully, if he has any decency, he will be forthright with her. And at this point, all she can do is take his word. The rest will follow.... He does seem to be a very straightforward person. There have been several instances already wherein he's just come out and said things that I didn't want to hear (things I knew were true about myself but just didn't feel like facing at the time, or ever, really). He's not afraid to say whatever comes into his head. Unlike me.
Pink Cupcakes Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I would definitely take away from this experience not to jump into bed with a guy right away. You wouldn't have this doubt and insecurity if you had waited to let the relationship develop naturally instead of using sex to "get" him. You have also said that all your relationships have fizzled out early by jumping into bed. Bingo.
Ariadne Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 He said he saw my blog posts on Facebook about the progress I'm making on my room makeover. I told him about it in a bit more detail This is bs talking. Kind of like asking you, did you finish your hw? Is evading important talk and filling in.
Author tigressA Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 This is bs talking. Kind of like asking you, did you finish your hw? Is evading important talk and filling in. Uh, I said in that post that I wasn't going to have the exclusivity discussion with him over instant message, which is what we were on since he was at work. Talking about important stuff like that over IM is beyond tacky.
Ariadne Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Uh, I said in that post that I wasn't going to have the exclusivity discussion with him over instant message, which is what we were on since he was at work. Talking about important stuff like that over IM is beyond tacky. Yeah.. I get that. I was just noting the subject he brought up. Didn't sound good.
Author tigressA Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 I'd told him vaguely about my room plans before and he'd taken an interest in it. Other times he'd asked me if I had found certain things yet, etc. He's taken an interest in something that I'm doing that's important to me; I really don't see how that "doesn't sound good". To me that's nothing but good.
SadandConfusedWA Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Tigresa, I hope it works out for you. I tend to be overly negative...so let us know how it goes.
Pink Cupcakes Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Your method of jumping into bed to get the guy more interested you kind of backfired this time. you can't freely give your body as an intimate act on a first date and expect there to be no confusion later. A first date is a first date, and if you give it up that first time, that doesn't change the fact that it is only a first date. To now ask for exclusivity when you so freely gave away your body from the git go is kind of confusing to him, I'm sure. I think he is taking a step back now. Also, he knows you jump into bed very easily with men....he may be the type of guy wondering, well, she is probably bedding who knows what other men? If she jumps into bed after just meeting them, she could have met a guy at lunch and be boinking him now...he probably wants a woman he can respect for a relationship but he is getting sex from you until he meets someone who he respects enough to date exclusively.
Author tigressA Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 (edited) We talked for over 2 hours last night, but the nub and gist is that yes, we are exclusive. And yes, we are still taking a break from sex. But I have little doubt I can tease him into a frenzy next time we're together. There's more to it than this (the conversation was pretty intense) but I thought this was all people who posted here would like to know. I can post the long version if anyone's interested. Edited July 21, 2010 by tigressA
SadandConfusedWA Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Post! I am interested. Sounds great and very positive. Maybe your experience will help people like me to not jump to conclusions
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