Curt Posted July 16, 2010 Moderators Posted July 16, 2010 We're seeing each other. To be exclusive, to me, means that some sort of talk has to happen first wherein both parties agree to an exclusive status. I don't deal in "implied" stuff; that just leads to trouble as I've found in the past. Most people in my age group (I'm 23, he's 27) operate this way in terms of dating. Maybe he doesn't? I don't know. Raww curiosity here ... does this mean that if your age would be together for say ... 3 months ... and nobody mentions the exclusive word, that you would still consider yourselves free, not considering yourself an exclusive item? I'm intrigued by this.
Curt Posted July 16, 2010 Moderators Posted July 16, 2010 He senses your hesitation, and may be a guy you potentially could really like! He may just be a great guy, who wants similar to what you wants- but notices the same "she feels like a bootycall" vibe, and wants to change it. Hmm ... what makes you feel this way marsle? Curt
Author tigressA Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 Raww curiosity here ... does this mean that if your age would be together for say ... 3 months ... and nobody mentions the exclusive word, that you would still consider yourselves free, not considering yourself an exclusive item? I'm intrigued by this. Yeah, I would--I have, a couple of times. I've found that it's necessary since I started really putting myself out there to date last fall.
Curt Posted July 16, 2010 Moderators Posted July 16, 2010 Yeah, I would--I have, a couple of times. I've found that it's necessary since I started really putting myself out there to date last fall. All I can think is ... wow.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 I don't know if anyone else has said this or not but I'm sorry to say that I can't see this scenario happening unless the dude may have contracted an STD like syph, gonorrhea or chlamydia elsewhere and is trying to cover it up until it's cured and any lesions left behind have healed to the point where they are no longer visible. Sorry to have to say it but if that's the case, he wouldn't be the first man try to cover his tracks with some kind of romantic double talk. Just sayin' (and I hope it isn't so but beware of signs of obsessive behavior not to be seen "down there".) Best wishes.
Author tigressA Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 I don't know if anyone else has said this or not but I'm sorry to say that I can't see this scenario happening unless the dude may have contracted an STD like syph, gonorrhea or chlamydia elsewhere and is trying to cover it up until it's cured and any lesions left behind have healed to the point where they are no longer visible. Sorry to have to say it but if that's the case, he wouldn't be the first man try to cover his tracks with some kind of romantic double talk. Just sayin' (and I hope it isn't so but beware of signs of obsessive behavior not to be seen "down there".) Best wishes. That could be a possibility. I'll keep an eye out.
cabarc1 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 The herpes thing someone mentioned earlier actually makes a lot of sense. Think about it............
Author tigressA Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 While the STD thing is possible, I don't think it's probable. I don't have any serious warning bells going off in my head, never have. I just was (well, still am) annoyed more than anything else. I'm really, really, really not used to a guy trying to dominate me like that. I'm feeling dumbfounded too. I'm having trouble with how to handle it. I've never just "let" someone else take the reins like this. In bed it's great--I've never had a guy just manipulate my body how he wants, or just tell me what to do, and I've always wanted that. He doesn't ask, he just does. I love every minute of it. But out of the bedroom...that's another story.
Cobra_X Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 In bed it's great--I've never had a guy just manipulate my body how he wants, or just tell me what to do, and I've always wanted that. He doesn't ask, he just does. I love every minute of it. But out of the bedroom...that's another story. Really... you've never had a guy do that? How aggressive are you?
Curt Posted July 16, 2010 Moderators Posted July 16, 2010 Really... you've never had a guy do that? How aggressive are you? Soooo glad someone asked that.
Author tigressA Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 It's a combination of my aggressiveness and the guys I had chosen to date prior to this one. All the other guys I dated were more passive in nearly everything concerning our relationship, including sex.
Curt Posted July 16, 2010 Moderators Posted July 16, 2010 It's a combination of my aggressiveness and the guys I had chosen to date prior to this one. All the other guys I dated were more passive in nearly everything concerning our relationship, including sex. So, Tigress, he seems to have been (up until recently) quite submissive ... would you think you are extremely or overtly dominant? I know that sometimes, guys can misconstrue strength for a woman being just overbearing. Hmmm ... would you feel adverse to letting him lead? Just curious.... Curt
Author tigressA Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 The only thing he's been remotely submissive in so far is in not refusing sex when I've initiated it. I mean, who would have been able to in the situations we were in? Past guys have always asked for my input, wanting to "make me happy". This guy reads me and then just says, or does, without asking me. Somewhat scarily enough, he almost always turns out to be right-on, and I have a lot of trouble admitting that. I'll go on for hours, sometimes days, denying and rebelling, until I grudgingly admit it to myself. And I would never admit it to him.
Author tigressA Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 I'd play it his way and see how long he lasts! Yep, that's the plan for right now!
Curt Posted July 16, 2010 Moderators Posted July 16, 2010 The only thing he's been remotely submissive in so far is in not refusing sex when I've initiated it. I mean, who would have been able to in the situations we were in? Past guys have always asked for my input, wanting to "make me happy". This guy reads me and then just says, or does, without asking me. Somewhat scarily enough, he almost always turns out to be right-on, and I have a lot of trouble admitting that. I'll go on for hours, sometimes days, denying and rebelling, until I grudgingly admit it to myself. And I would never admit it to him. Do you think that you feel the need to stay "in the driver's seat" in any relationship ... and if so, why?
threebyfate Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 Yep, that's the plan for right now! Just enjoy it. Forget control. Relax and have fun and don't forget to tease the everlovin' hell outta' him.
Author tigressA Posted July 17, 2010 Author Posted July 17, 2010 Do you think that you feel the need to stay "in the driver's seat" in any relationship ... and if so, why? Yeah, I do feel that way. I've always felt like no one could possibly know what's best for me except me--even in regards to my parents. I would always get so pissed off when my dad would say things like "You think you know yourself but I know you better than you ever will". And of course, he was right. I just rebel against that kind of stuff to spite them, to "show" them that they're not right, when in fact they are, and though I'll eventually admit it to myself, out of some fierce sense of pride I will never, ever admit it to them. I want to know; I always want to be sure, and I feel like that's more possible when I'm in control of things than when I'm not. But this guy, he just knows. He reads me like a book. And instead of just letting him and enjoying it I call it "scary" and rebel against it every chance I get. It's a wonder he hasn't broken things off yet, to tell truth.
Cobra_X Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 The only thing he's been remotely submissive in so far is in not refusing sex when I've initiated it. I mean, who would have been able to in the situations we were in? Past guys have always asked for my input, wanting to "make me happy". This guy reads me and then just says, or does, without asking me. Somewhat scarily enough, he almost always turns out to be right-on, and I have a lot of trouble admitting that. I'll go on for hours, sometimes days, denying and rebelling, until I grudgingly admit it to myself. And I would never admit it to him. I get it. Honestly... it's like the kind of guy that keeps asking you where you want to go to dinner. After a while it drives you nuts... kind of nice to have a guy just take you somewhere you like. At some point your going to have to stop fighting it and just go with the flow... to a point.
Author tigressA Posted July 17, 2010 Author Posted July 17, 2010 and don't forget to tease the everlovin' hell outta' him. Hmm I never did think of that...this is going to be fun...:D (rubs hands together while cackling evilly)
threebyfate Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 Hmm I never did think of that...this is going to be fun...:D (rubs hands together while cackling evilly)I really don't find passive men attractive. You've got a man on your hands, girlfriend! Let him "catch" you giving him smoking hot looks. Then shutter down, showing a little self-consciousness. Wear what he finds sexy. If you end up in a clinch with him, let it get to only a certain level allowing him to see how affected you are but pull back. Drop innuendo and pretend innocence. Mid-day hot calls always on the edge but never over "his" line. This WILL be a blast and can be smoking hot, hot, hot!
Author tigressA Posted July 17, 2010 Author Posted July 17, 2010 I really don't find passive men attractive. You've got a man on your hands, girlfriend! Let him "catch" you giving him smoking hot looks. Then shutter down, showing a little self-consciousness. Wear what he finds sexy. If you end up in a clinch with him, let it get to only a certain level allowing him to see how affected you are but pull back. Drop innuendo and pretend innocence. Mid-day hot calls always on the edge but never over "his" line. This WILL be a blast and can be smoking hot, hot, hot! Ahh, I can't wait to put all this into action now! He's in and out of the office this whole weekend (really intense temporary assignment) but he wants to get together this upcoming week for dinner. I have a few hot new frocks I could slip into, including a slinky little black dress.
threebyfate Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 Ahh, I can't wait to put all this into action now! He's in and out of the office this whole weekend (really intense temporary assignment) but he wants to get together this upcoming week for dinner. I have a few hot new frocks I could slip into, including a slinky little black dress. Now you've got the attitude! The great part of all this is that it's fun for both of you. You want to get the sexual tension so cranked, your nerve endings will be screaming. Get into his space, brush against him when you've got him a little wired. Looks, light kisses, light touches, sit on his lap, seduce him but never over "his" line. I do this to H and it drives him mental. He absolutely loves it!
Author tigressA Posted July 17, 2010 Author Posted July 17, 2010 Geez, I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about doing all that. But then that also happens just thinking of him. Damn he turns me on. RS said something in her post about how women like it when a man can just read them and take control. To tell truth, I do like it. A lot. It took me the entire time up to now to admit that!
alphamale Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 Geez, I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about doing all that. you should get a fan
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