sweetlee102 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Ok , i have posted in here before about my irrational jealousy and insecurity and the problems its creating with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. Sadly i have gotten NO better and our issues are worse. We are on the brink of making it or breaking it. Do i blame him, no, i know its my fault but the harder i try to fix it the worse it gets, i cant just relax and be normal and non jealous, etc. So anyway surprisingly he is still with me and i truly want it to work. This weeknd is touch for me, he is going to a reunion down at the shore that they hvae every year. Now i understand why im not invited but i still feel left out, but thtas besides the point. Im always so scared he will reconnect with an old love or something like that. Especialyy so this yera when we are doing so crappy. THEN thsi morning i made it all worse and am very upset. Also of the problems we have started when he got a facebook and i got curious who everyone (girls) were, etc. so anyway that is a sore subject with us, i mean he tells me when i ask but it now got the point that its annoying. SO this morning he posted something as his status. i commmented on it and then texted him something (i had sent him something earlier via text andnever heard back. It pisses me off when he goes on facebook first) so anyway paranoid me got upset when i didnt hear from him so i called him and asked if he was mad i posted on his facebook, then he called me insane becuase i care so much about facebook. long story short, he is leaving tonight, maybe before i get home and now he is leaving thinking im insane, not loving, anything i can do ???????????? listen, i know i sound insane, in all honesty i feel insane. I know when i do stupid tings but i cant stop myself.
stace79 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 I agree that you have jealousy/insecurity issues, but at the same time he certainly isn't meeting you halfway to help you. You've been together 2.5 years and he's not inviting you to go to a reunion with him? Sorry, but to me that would be unacceptable. After 2.5 years I should be invited and welcome just about anywhere he goes, with the exception of maybe a guys night out or bachelor party type of thing. If my bf had a reunion for school or something, he'd WANT to bring me along as his hot date and show me off to all his friends! I think you should be concerned that he doesn't want you to come along. I think you should really sit down and write out a list of all the things you're paranoid about, and then really think about which ones are rational and irrational. Then if he really cares about you and your relationship, share that with him and ask him to help you come up with ideas to make things better for both of you. Sure, there are things you have to work on. But my bf loves me very much and so he wants to help me, too, even if it's more my problem than his!
stace79 Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 I think you should lighten up and get a life. Don't you have more interesting things to do in your life than read facebook and check and control who your boyfriend has for friends and who he talks to? Wouldn't it be more fun to go shopping, go to the beach, read a book, go swimming, take a yoga class, go dancing, go to the movies (by yourself!), chat with your girlfriends, than worrying constantly about who your boyfriend talks to or not? You must lead a very stressful life. Weird thing is...it is all self-imposed. If I were you I'd find something to do with my life that would distract me. Focus on what *you* do and who *you* talk to instead of what your boyfriend does and who he talks to. Good luck! Your attitude is precisely the problem with the world and with relationships these days. It's all about "me, me, me". Relationships make someone else your priority, even ahead of your own needs sometimes. Yes, she needs to work on her insecurity, but he as her bf also needs to be willing and ready to help her, IF he truly cares about her and their R.
Ilovehim Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 Sweetie you are NOT insane as you say. You do have jealousy/insecurity issues but as an above poster said, he is not helping you with them. He is making them worse. I would be EXTREMELY offended if I wasnt invited to a reunion. My boyfriend ivites me to every even (except when he goes with his friends to their guys nights, and those are very rare, like only when his friend had a bachelor party and then when it was his friends birthday...only twice) and even at the birthday i was invited but had to work and couldn't make it. He is WRONG for not inviting you. A real man will help you with your insecurities because regardless of how confident a woman may be, we all have our insecurities and jealousises ESPECIALLY when our man re-inforces them. No couple has a perfect relationship. I too sometimes (not that often) but still at times will get jealous over things. It's normal. Try to communicate with him before he leaves openly and maturely but honey if he isn't meeting you halfway, then maybe he isnt the right man for you.
mlaw Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 What I have found in my life is that Nine times out of ten...if you are jealous There is usually a reason for it. You are Not insane...he should be helping you And you should have been invited to the Reunion. If I were you I would look a little Deeper into the relationship...and not listen To him calling you insane ..he does not sound Helpful or caring.
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