mikezombie777 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 (edited) Hi all. So I broke up with my girlfriend last week.... Until last Friday everything was great, we were a fairly happy couple. She decides to stay over my place for the week from the saturday before. It gets to friday and she starts acting weird and I asked whats wrong, she says she just feels a bit down for some reason. My instincts were telling me something was up, I know from experience how these things go. I end up trying to talk to her about how I'm feeling. I just said, babe I know something more is up...Eventually she just gets up and starts crying. She then says she feels smothered because she hasn't spent this much time with a guy before all in one go and that she doesn't know if she can cope with my 'neediness'. Now honestly, I didn't realise I was being needy. I mean I just loved spending time with her and she said she loves lots of affection. So I was left a bit confused. Anyway, she starts crying lots and telling me to go away all of a sudden. So I did. I left it to cool down for a bit. I then try to talk to her again and she just walks off again. Judging by her reaction I got the impression she was going to break up with me, there was no doubt in my mind. So, I thought I'd get to the punch first and break up with her. Big mistake....She tells me she wasn't going to break up with me and that now she can't take me back because I hurt her so badly. We were both in tears. She left my place and I haven't talked to her since. She hasnt contacted me or anything, so I'm guessing she doesn't want to hear from me but she IS stubborn. So I can't be sure. Although my friend sent her a message on FB and Erin (my gf) replied saying "we can't try again, things just wouldnt be the same. I'll just remember last night and I wont be happy". Anyway, I'm going crazy. I love her so much and this just doesn't feel right. I was a complete idiot for jumping the gun and I'd do ANYTHING to get her back. I tried deleting all our photos, txts, her number etc so I have no way to contact her and make things worse. But I just can't get my head around the idea of never seeing her again. In the end I sent her a msg on myspace & mocospace, spilling my heart. She hasnt replied. I dont remember her number or email so that was the only way. I've been in denial until today about how much I love her - I've tried telling myself there are plenty of girls out there and that I need to move on....But I just can't. Every other girl I talk to or see, I have no interest in because they're not her. If I could somehow know it's 100% over in HER mind, I might be able to move on. I feel so terrible for hurting her, I just want her to be happy in the end. Do I need to let her go or should I keep fighting? I tried my best to treat her wonderfully in the relationship because she's an amazing person. I never called her names, never yelled at her, never even thought about cheating on her.... please help Edited July 16, 2010 by mikezombie777
Art_Critic Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 It seems to me that she WAS going to break up with you but she just didn't want to hurt you. By you drawing first blood you gave her the excuse she needed to pull away from you.. Why ?.. Someone else docked in the wings.. 10-1 that you hear about her dating a new guy very quickly. I'm basing this partly on the no response to your emails.. If she really wanted you she would have replied. Sorry for your breakup.. breakups suck but things get better with time and there are plenty of women out there that will be a better fit for you.. Don't blame yourself.. The best thing you can do right now is go silent..
Author mikezombie777 Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 (edited) It seems to me that she WAS going to break up with you but she just didn't want to hurt you. By you drawing first blood you gave her the excuse she needed to pull away from you.. Why ?.. Someone else docked in the wings.. 10-1 that you hear about her dating a new guy very quickly. I'm basing this partly on the no response to your emails.. If she really wanted you she would have replied. Sorry for your breakup.. breakups suck but things get better with time and there are plenty of women out there that will be a better fit for you.. Don't blame yourself.. The best thing you can do right now is go silent.. Thanks for your reply man, I really appreciate it. Now that you've mentioned it, I've been thinking perhaps she WAS just looking for an excuse. It makes sense. But, I'm not sure about the 'new guy' thing....She was always so open about having guy friends & such, as I have a few 'girl friends'. I would have no clue who she'd be interested in, I thought our relationship was great - we were always saying I love you to each other and saying how much we miss each other when weren't together etc. If she felt smothered, I would have backed off no worries. I understand everyone needs their space. I just wish I knew for sure. I guess I may have made a mistake in sending her those msgs....Time for NC I guess. It sucks so bad seeing her pics and stuff on myspace. I also noticed she changed her profile on a dating site a bit, she's written "I'm newly single". I mean how can she move on that quick??? Till friday I always felt like she cared about me just as much as I care about her. :(If there's another guy in the picture this just may help me let go. If I thought everything she said about us was bull****, I wouldn't think of her so highly. Edited July 16, 2010 by mikezombie777
hurt and devastated Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 I also think she was wanting to break up, but either didn't want to hurt you, or was trying to find the right opportunity to do it. The best thing to do is go NC with her as well. Nothing you do or say right now is going to change things, other than make you more miserable. You need to take the time right now to let things settle down, and work on moving past this. If she wants to contact you, she will. If she doesn't, then you'll already be on your way to moving on. I know what you're going through and wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's not an easy process to get over someone you shared your life with and thought loved and cared about you as much as you did. This is a good place to go. There are a lot of people that have helped me, either with words of advice or support.
Author mikezombie777 Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 (edited) I also think she was wanting to break up, but either didn't want to hurt you, or was trying to find the right opportunity to do it. The best thing to do is go NC with her as well. Nothing you do or say right now is going to change things, other than make you more miserable. You need to take the time right now to let things settle down, and work on moving past this. If she wants to contact you, she will. If she doesn't, then you'll already be on your way to moving on. I know what you're going through and wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's not an easy process to get over someone you shared your life with and thought loved and cared about you as much as you did. This is a good place to go. There are a lot of people that have helped me, either with words of advice or support. Yeah I think you're right What I don't understand is...How could she say she loves me and act totally normal one minute & use my mistake as an excuse to break up the next? What went wrong??? Everything seemed so perfect before friday night....Why cant people just be honest about their feelings? I'm starting to think she never cared about me as much as I thought. Edited July 16, 2010 by mikezombie777
hurt and devastated Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 It's hard to say, maybe she was waiting for the opportunity for it to happen, and was just going along with things till it happened. You'll keep yourself up at night trying to think of what went "wrong", or when, or how. The truth is, you may never know. If the only reason she gave you that she was feeling smothered by you, I think she was just looking for a way out.
Author mikezombie777 Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 It's hard to say, maybe she was waiting for the opportunity for it to happen, and was just going along with things till it happened. You'll keep yourself up at night trying to think of what went "wrong", or when, or how. The truth is, you may never know. If the only reason she gave you that she was feeling smothered by you, I think she was just looking for a way out. I just wish I knew so I could avoid making the same mistake again, whatever it may be. Why couldn't she tell me the real reason? How could she disrespect me so much as to lie to my face about how she felt? I truly believed she meant what she said at the time. I guess people who value honesty & integrity are hard to come by.
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