nyr81 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 So I met this girl Saturday and we've been texting back and forth every day. I've initiated some as has she. I was gonna ask her out this weekend but she said she had plans to go to a theme park and asked me to come along. Should I continue texting her? Or give it a break to make her miss me some? What if she initiates another text tonight, would ignoring it be bad?
robdrm32 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 You did accept that invitation right? If she texts you text her back, or call her w/e don't flat out ignore her. Letting her come to you is a fine strategy, although you shouldn't worry about being the first to contact. go hang with her this weekend and take it from there.
Author nyr81 Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 I did accept yes. It's just all these "rules" they tell you about can drive you crazy.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 (edited) Texting is for pussies. Just stay around here (LS) and start counting how many threads wind up with people whom have texted after a first or second date coming up insecure and clueless or suspicious or what have you for adding this artificial dialog extender to their unestablished romance. Texting has never been scientifically or formally factored into social dynamics so that someone can merely "look up" the recommended etiquette of technology-facilitated emotional interference. In other words, keep it all real. See them when you seen them, talk to then when you call them or vice versa but deal with their absence the good old fashioned way when you are incommunicado. It is in these spaces that feelings often grow. But instead what I'm seeing is people tiring of each other from this artificial mechanism which often just tips one or the other off to a "co-dependence" that would never even come up if technology weren't facilitating it. PS: Resistance is NOT futile. Edited July 15, 2010 by Feelin Frisky
Author nyr81 Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 I'm not sure how old you are but this is what everyone is doing. I'm 25 and didn't want to get caught up with the texting nonsense, but this is all people do now
Feelin Frisky Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I'm not sure how old you are but this is what everyone is doing. I'm 25 and didn't want to get caught up with the texting nonsense, but this is all people do now We have a moron majority. Join the independently minded minority. Seriously. I can see texting becoming something hard NOT to do once you've established the precedent. It's a new dilemma. How do you undo a relationship that starts that way? There's no book to look up the answer in. And thus we have thread after thread of people uncertain of how to act. How does one ask a new relation to agre to stop texting to let nature return to what it should be. It's damage that is unfixable. Terefore, I believe it wise to enter a relationship say that you don't believe in texting, and absence makes the heart grow fonder or other ways to frame that you feel it's healthy to retain one's seperate identity rather than becoming co-dependent or joined at the hip with texting. Perhaps ypu might find a bright woman who agrees that bsence does make the anticipation of reconnecting more romantic.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Upon further reflection, the texting issue may have a simple answer. What people are doing is texting each other too early into a relationship when they are in a kind of turmoil of emotionality because their feelings aren't at all settled yet. One could simply make it a policy or ethic to use texting for functional messages or even sweet pick-me-ups once the necessary trust and security that you're a bona fide couple has sunk in. So I hereby amend my statement that texting is for pussies to texting is emasculating if used too early in a budding relationship as issues of codependency and insecurity often on the part more of the man than the woman can sabotage the relationship. So the advice is to reserve the use of the form of communication to well after one has earned the trust and respect for the other so that it isn't a crisis waiting to happen each time it's at issue.
zengirl Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 I'm in agreement that too much texting, too early leads to unreasonable expectations (and thus can be bad). A cute text here or there, when you've been on a few dates and are flirting, can be good, but constant texting/facebooking/whatevering can be a huge drain early in a relationship. Date a few times, see if you like each other. Don't ignore texts, but don't encourage consistent, through-the-day texting, I say. (Unless you like it. Then, do what you like!) Then again, I always tell guys I prefer to use texts for practical matters (i.e. See you at 8!) and to spend time together in person. If I can't see someone for a long time, and you're trying to maintain a connection, I prefer a phone call or an email. Then, you can actually communicate. I can't really communicate via text.
Recommended Posts