seanieB Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Hey everyone, just registered on this site, feeling pretty low right now and need to vent. So my GF of 3 years told me last week she wanted space. We met at university, when we met she had 2 years left and I had 3. She is from a town 2 hours away from the university and Im from a different country. During the time we were at university everything was amazing! we lived within walking distance of each other so we could see each other whenever we wanted, but still had our own friends and stuff and it was a perfectly healthy relationship. However once she graduated she moved back to her family and back to her old job. So we've been long distance for a year now. She works full time irregular hours so getting time together was difficult. As time went on I started to struggle with the amount we saw each other, i felt I wasnt seeing her enough. I asked her if she would move in with me after I graduated and she said yes at first, but then changed her mind a week later and said she wsnt ready for such a big commitment and was scared. Which I understand and it alone wasnt an issue. But it made me more stressed about where we were going. I had been looking forward to finishing uni and beeing able to see more of my GF but then thoughts of how exactly this was going to happen crept into my head. I began to get more intense with her, whenever I saw her instead of keeping things light and fun I was intense and clingy. This freiked her out a little, and the more freiked she got, the more intense I became. I finished university a few months ago and have been looking for work close to where she lives, in the hopes that things would get better. Im still living in the town we went to uni in and unemployed. The vast majority of my friends from uni have left the town so I dont really have anyone here anymore. The combination of being unemployed and lonely really made me very reclusive and clingy again with my GF. Last week she came to see me, we went out with some of her friends on the sat night, but I was stupid and drunk and emotional, ruining her night by practically begging for attention, eventually I left early alone and left her with her friends, which kind of offended her. Then on monday morning before she headed home, she told me she couldnt go on like this, that things werent the same anymore, which they werent so I cant argue with that. She left me in tears on monday and said that she wasnt coming back! which was heartwrenching. We spoke then on monday evening when she called me. We both agreed that what we had was too special just to walk away from so we agreed we should take a break from seeing each other and speak less. We used to speak everynight but Ive not spoken to her since that call, just the odd text during the day. So hard not to be able to say goodnight to her I really really love this girl with every fibre of my being, and she says she still loves me too, she just wants things back the way they were, and I do too, but shes not convinced that living close together is the answer. When we met I was confident, popular, knew what I wanted from my time at uni, and I suppose that was a big part in attracting her to me. Now I feel like a reclusive, lonely, whiney little bitch!! I do feel that knowing the reason for things fading is really going to help me hold the relationship together through the rough times. But I dont want to lose her and Im in a tough situation. I live alone but am unemployed, so when the money runs out Ill have to go home to the parents, if that happens I can forget getting her back. I know I need to show her that I can be strong without her and to sort my life out, but Im really strapped for time without a job or income. So far we have had limited contact, I know people would recommend people go No Contact at all but I dont know if I can do that, and I dont want her to get over me, allthough I do want her to miss me. I guess Im just looking for any kind of advice or any input from anyone at all. And I really needed to vent too, even writing it down helped a litle!
Author seanieB Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 Anyone got any input or advice? No? spent over an hour on the phone to her last night.wasnt begging or pleading or none of that, we didnt even talk about us, just about work and whats been happning and stuff. We touched on how we were feeling, she said she cant do anything. Hasnt left her house except to go to work. She hasnt told her mum why either which is really strange for her. She said something about trying to get back into a routine from next week, really wish I could be part of that routine. She's working tonight and going out with some friends after, I jokingly told her if you get the urge to drunk dial me to go with it! maybe that was a mistake, she said that it wouldnt be a good idea and she might leave her phone at home (she wont) As we were saying goodbye I told her I loved her, she said, love you too and hung up the phone immediately. Not really expecting her to call tonight but kind of hoping she will a little, but also hoping she wont, if shes drunk and emotional she'll get upset, then I will too and thats not good! Sooo stressed out, dont know If I should move back home or not, If I move back home Ill have my family but thatll be the end of me and her for good Anyway sorry for ranting again, but like I said dont really have anyone here to talk to
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