ResetReality Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Well its been a month, im getting there, thing is, all this NC business, Its very hard, time like now i want to email her asking if she wants to hang out (maybe because of the pics and this other guy around her) But why do I still see her as "My Girl" and why do I get so jealous? Is that the sort of person I am? when we were together I didn't mind her hanging out with other lads from her work and what not, now it is the total opposite, I can't get these pics I've seen out my head, I'm slowly going insane! What I'm here for, is to ask, How many of you are still in NC and how long did it take for them to break NC? Do any of you want to get back? I know NC is not about that, but I find myself checking my emails, planning on what I'm going to write/say IF she contacts Maybe I just want to know if she thinks of me? Maybe I want to be able to have the upper hand? Last message sent was something about I know where she is if I change my mind about being mates She is the sort of girl that expects the man to do everything, Maybe this was an opening for me to initiate contact, Maybe I should contact her, Maybe I just come off too desperate OR MAYBE I'M THINKING ABOUT IT TOO MUCH!!!!
Username37 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Well its been a month, im getting there, thing is, all this NC business, Its very hard, time like now i want to email her asking if she wants to hang out (maybe because of the pics and this other guy around her) But why do I still see her as "My Girl" and why do I get so jealous? Is that the sort of person I am? when we were together I didn't mind her hanging out with other lads from her work and what not, now it is the total opposite, I can't get these pics I've seen out my head, I'm slowly going insane! What I'm here for, is to ask, How many of you are still in NC and how long did it take for them to break NC? Do any of you want to get back? I know NC is not about that, but I find myself checking my emails, planning on what I'm going to write/say IF she contacts Maybe I just want to know if she thinks of me? Maybe I want to be able to have the upper hand? Last message sent was something about I know where she is if I change my mind about being mates She is the sort of girl that expects the man to do everything, Maybe this was an opening for me to initiate contact, Maybe I should contact her, Maybe I just come off too desperate OR MAYBE I'M THINKING ABOUT IT TOO MUCH!!!! It's been two months for me. I'm tempted to break NC. I want to see her badly. And I saw a pic of her with one of my friends that's giving me a wrong idea. And dude, I get you. I still view her as "my girl" too. I was fine with her with other guys because I knew she loved me and I'm the one getting everything if you know what I mean but now, I hate it when she hangs out with my guy friends. During my NC, she broke it at week 4 I think, to wish me happy birthday and stuff. Made me feel like ****. I'm waiting for her call now. I want her to contact me so bad. And yes, I also think she wants me to make the first move. But by making the first move, they get the upper hand. So i don't know what to say...
Author ResetReality Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 I hear ya bro, man, it's cool when you reply, I think we both got ditched for near enough the same reason and here we are feeling exactly the same! wait it out man, time will tell man, see this is what happens with me, one moment I panic, i get confused, i want her back then the next im like whatever man, its over, get out my life and stay out, after this pain shes putting me through confusing eh, im still waiting for her to break ANY contact is she ever will, maybe shes reading all this? man ENOUGH WITH THE MAYBES XDXD
Username37 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I hear ya bro, man, it's cool when you reply, I think we both got ditched for near enough the same reason and here we are feeling exactly the same! wait it out man, time will tell man, see this is what happens with me, one moment I panic, i get confused, i want her back then the next im like whatever man, its over, get out my life and stay out, after this pain shes putting me through confusing eh, im still waiting for her to break ANY contact is she ever will, maybe shes reading all this? man ENOUGH WITH THE MAYBES XDXD Get the **** out of here. That what happens to me too! XD I too am on an emotional roller coaster. One day I'm like "yup...single is nice" and another day I'm fricking crying and wanting her back. Today is a "want her back" day btw haha She restricted profile me on FB and I haven't gotten any text or calls like I did before (like a few days after the break, she use to call and text). So it's not looking likely for me. Then again, I can expect it when I least expect it.
skydiveaddict Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Don't keep pining away for her. If she wants to come back to you she will. Try and move on from this.
marigo Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Wow, this sounds just like my situation. Only opposite sex. It's also been a month since my ex bf and i last talked. I dont have the urge to call him anymore since we had an argument the last time we talked and i realized that talking to him is probably pushing him further away. But i miss him so much, more and more each day. Just like you, i still think of him as "my man" i get so jealous. It used to not bother me whenever he comments with girls or adding girls on facebook but now every single girl that i see commenting him on fb or adding him as friend on fb, i get soo jealous!!! i overanalyze everything, i feel like im psycho. i used to not be like this at all. I think it's coz before, we know that even if they hang out with other people or people of the opposite sex, we still have them and their love. But now that you guys are no longer together, he/she is free to develop feelings for other people and thatll hurt you and of course, you'd be scared that he/she can really replace you. Thats why you get so jealous because you used to be the one who has his heart but things are different now. Trust me, i know the feeling. My ex has been commenting with this girl back and forth and its pissing me off so much!! I feel like while im here missing him and suffering, he's there flirting. And yes, i check his fb profile every day. Im crazy. Im still in NC and im gonna lie if i say, i dont wait for him to contact me. Not as bad as before but you cant help but get curious, does he think of me? Does he miss me? People say that he's not contacting me because he probably is giving me the space and the time to heal which is the main reason i told him when i said goodbye. But a part of me is of course hoping that he would contact me still. I didnt stop him from contacting me though, but he hasnt. I dont know what i'll do if he does. I think though that you should stick with NC atleast for now. I know you said she's the type of person that waits for the man to do everything first but what if this isnt one of those situations. I just think itll be better if you contact her when you've healed even just a little bit. That way, you can have a fun enjoyable conversation with her instead of feeling the pain and hurt the entire time you're talking to her. As normal and fun the conversations of you and her can be right now, you're not completely back to normal yet, and i guarantee you that you'd be emotional. Imagine yourself happy while talking to her in the future. That feeling of "wow, i just dont care if i talk to her or not anymore" that should motivate you to not contact her anytime soon unless you're completely okay. You said you want the upper hand. I think calling her means giving her the upper hand again because you're letting her affect you deeply. You're affected by the fact that she hasnt contacted you and when you do contact her and you end up hurting, it's coz you gave her the upper hand again. If you know what i mean. I sound like a hypocrite coz im going through this myself. Why cant i convince myself of all the things i say here.
brokenamy Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 take it from someone who not only left but USED to expect the man to do everything. but the moment I realized that I wanted my husband back, I did not wait for him to make a move, I pounced on him and I did everything it took. I went on the same rollercoaster I put him through and you know what, I am glad because had he taken me back right away, I'm not sure how it would have ended. We are slowly moving on together and patching things up. He left his rebound and admitted that the whole time she treated him like gold, he wishes it was me fighting with him which shows how crazy love is. I lost 20 pounds in this ordeal, lol! Here is what I can tell everyone who's been dumped- regardless of why we leave/breakup; understand that we do because we are hurt, angry, or bored, or *insert feeling here* and we need our space. that is why you should go NC right away to give them space to think, miss you, figure things out. When someone realizes the mistake they made by not fighting for the relationship harder, you won't need to break NC, we will beg you to take us back. I am sorry for everyone here's pain.
Username37 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 take it from someone who not only left but USED to expect the man to do everything. but the moment I realized that I wanted my husband back, I did not wait for him to make a move, I pounced on him and I did everything it took. I went on the same rollercoaster I put him through and you know what, I am glad because had he taken me back right away, I'm not sure how it would have ended. We are slowly moving on together and patching things up. He left his rebound and admitted that the whole time she treated him like gold, he wishes it was me fighting with him which shows how crazy love is. I lost 20 pounds in this ordeal, lol! Here is what I can tell everyone who's been dumped- regardless of why we leave/breakup; understand that we do because we are hurt, angry, or bored, or *insert feeling here* and we need our space. that is why you should go NC right away to give them space to think, miss you, figure things out. When someone realizes the mistake they made by not fighting for the relationship harder, you won't need to break NC, we will beg you to take us back. I am sorry for everyone here's pain. What did you tell your husband when you broke up with him? And glad you're back with your lover
Author ResetReality Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 WOW someone has actually gotten back with their lover! thats awesome, MORE INFO PLEASE!
Username37 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 WOW someone has actually gotten back with their lover! thats awesome, MORE INFO PLEASE! CONCUR! haha
Thorgs Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 hey guys, i'm on day 7 and i don't think there's a chance that she'll ever call me back even though i was super nice about the breakup. anyways, it's killing me. i was horrible 2 days ago, fine yesterday, and so-so today, but when she started crawling back into my mind i grabbed my ipod and went for a walk/run. exercise is the best thing to get your mind off of the situation, trust me! do i want her back? yes, very much so, but the more i think about it the more i don't think it will happen. she pulled the "i need space/break" so i'm guessing there's no hope for me, blah, it sucks. at least we have LS to vent, right?
ALombard Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Hey RR, to answer your question. Yes they do make contact...at least once. Now some people on here will tell you it's so they can stroke their ego and use it to realize that they still have some power over you, which in some situations is true. I've noticed that sometimes they do it because they really do miss you but are too afraid to tell you. No matter what the matter is you don't need to worry about it, truth be told you can't. My ex and I started talking 2 weeks ago, a few days later she told me she couldn't talk to me anymore because of her new boyfriend. Two days ago guess who called me? She then called me again yesterday to talk about her dad, she even kept reminding me how her new boyfriend would freak out if he found out. What I am trying to get at is this. Stay NC, the pain and the urge to talk to them goes away and when they do contact you it is a lot easier to play it cool, if you take the steps to move on. I tell everyone this, pretend she has died, you cannot call a dead person. If you do this, by the time she contacts you, you will be so far over her that it won't matter. So good luck.
Thorgs Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 What I am trying to get at is this. Stay NC, the pain and the urge to talk to them goes away and when they do contact you it is a lot easier to play it cool, if you take the steps to move on. I tell everyone this, pretend she has died, you cannot call a dead person. If you do this, by the time she contacts you, you will be so far over her that it won't matter. So good luck. Or you'll think you're being contacted by a ghost
ALombard Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Yeah or that, but either way...do you really want to f*ck a ghost?!
Thorgs Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Yeah or that, but either way...do you really want to f*ck a ghost?! Farrah Fawcett's ghost is probably pretty hot...but I get what you're sayin'.
brokenamy Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 CONCUR! haha haven't moved back in yet so it's still fragile and I don't want to jinx it but I have a feeling love potions work
Username37 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 haven't moved back in yet so it's still fragile and I don't want to jinx it but I have a feeling love potions work Please don't XD When did you decide to get back w him?
Author ResetReality Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 Hey all thanks for all the input, i really appreciate it, the true meaning behind it all was so she can spend more time with her new best friends! these are all facts btw She has had FB statues about how see was with me for 2 years and now being single is good because it gives her time to spend time with her friends! so all this about us being to different, me contacting my ex and all the other crap was her way of turning it around on me so she had a "valid" excuse! Thing that hurts the most it, i never ever stopped her seeing her friends! she was the one who said, Nah, id rather spend time with you and now shes twisting back around like i was some control freak?! i gave her all the freedom she needed, i encouraged her to go out with her mates! and look whats happened, i got a kick in the tits because of it you know whats worse aswell? her mates never ever liked me from day 1 (because im Asian) I remember the times when we first met her mates, we were good, then when her mates came, she turned cold against me, calling me and idiot and generally giving me a hard time for no reason other then my skin color (she admitted this) But like a mug I forgot about it just before i deleted her on FB one of her friend posted " I approve if you get me ;)" referring to that he is happy that she has dumped me i truly believe that they manipulated her into breaking up with me, she chose these people she hasnt know even a year against me, im the person who stuck with her through thick and thin, the person the cared for her bought her endless gifts, meals, clothes, bags, jewelery and look what i get Im just a mug, she used me and now discarded me when she found her little place with her so called mates :( I feel disgraced, used, and worthless why did she have to treat me like this? i did everything i could and she just took advantage of me :(
lullaby Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Hey all thanks for all the input, i really appreciate it, the true meaning behind it all was so she can spend more time with her new best friends! these are all facts btw She has had FB statues about how see was with me for 2 years and now being single is good because it gives her time to spend time with her friends! so all this about us being to different, me contacting my ex and all the other crap was her way of turning it around on me so she had a "valid" excuse! Thing that hurts the most it, i never ever stopped her seeing her friends! she was the one who said, Nah, id rather spend time with you and now shes twisting back around like i was some control freak?! i gave her all the freedom she needed, i encouraged her to go out with her mates! and look whats happened, i got a kick in the tits because of it you know whats worse aswell? her mates never ever liked me from day 1 (because im Asian) I remember the times when we first met her mates, we were good, then when her mates came, she turned cold against me, calling me and idiot and generally giving me a hard time for no reason other then my skin color (she admitted this) But like a mug I forgot about it just before i deleted her on FB one of her friend posted " I approve if you get me ;)" referring to that he is happy that she has dumped me i truly believe that they manipulated her into breaking up with me, she chose these people she hasnt know even a year against me, im the person who stuck with her through thick and thin, the person the cared for her bought her endless gifts, meals, clothes, bags, jewelery and look what i get Im just a mug, she used me and now discarded me when she found her little place with her so called mates :( I feel disgraced, used, and worthless why did she have to treat me like this? i did everything i could and she just took advantage of me :( I feel for you and send you a hug. Even if we think we know the person with are with, well, we don't. Sometimes the fact that they hurt you like this helps to move on faster and to finally think that person was not the right for you, although you're in terrible pain now and wish she hadn't done that. And I don't think that people can influence that much when it comes to matters of the heart. On my previous relationship my friends didn't like my ex and always mentioned that I should leave him but I didn't until I was sure on my own. I didn't leave him because of what they said, I ended it for my own reasons, but people are different and your ex could be too easy to influence I hope you're feeling better.
Author ResetReality Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 i will be all right, i mean, there is some always worse off, i will get over it and there is no point dwelling on it, its just that, she was the one, or at least i thought she was, she has changed so much, and i believe shes just following the crowd, i mean, she listed one of her mates as a sibling on FB? LOL yeh sure, because shes THAT much of a good friend eh? its stupid, its silly its immature, friends come and go is the saying and one day, when the novelty of her mates has worn off what she going to do then? *sigh* i can honestly say i tried, i tried my best to make it work ive got my closure, i can stop wondering, and for now, a weight has been lifted
Username37 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 i will be all right, i mean, there is some always worse off, i will get over it and there is no point dwelling on it, its just that, she was the one, or at least i thought she was, she has changed so much, and i believe shes just following the crowd, i mean, she listed one of her mates as a sibling on FB? LOL yeh sure, because shes THAT much of a good friend eh? its stupid, its silly its immature, friends come and go is the saying and one day, when the novelty of her mates has worn off what she going to do then? *sigh* i can honestly say i tried, i tried my best to make it work ive got my closure, i can stop wondering, and for now, a weight has been lifted Hey man, I thought my ex was the one too. She was perfect man, like you thought yours was. She's now following the crowd by hooking up, drugs, alcohol, all that sick ****. She considers me one of her close friends. Last time I checked, you don't treat your close friends like a bitch and totally ignore them. gah! Exes are immature. They beat you down and they kick you constantly for an ego boost (something that she really needs). Immature little girls. Let them have their fun that's what I say. It will kick her in the ass. I tried too. We got our answers. The weight has been lifted like you said.
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