I think I did everything right, but still nothing :(

[tashp]

I would really appreciate your help in my situation.

 

My boyfriend and I broke up 4 weeks ago, he decide all of a sudden that we were incompatible. We have been together for a year, we were in the same city when we met, then 5 months in, he had to move to Seattle for a job. We were in a long distance relationship for 6 months, and then last month I got a job and moved up too. I became a little needy and had a lot of expectations from him since I moved up for him, and I felt that is what fueled the break up.

 

When he broke up with me, I begged and pleaded him to come meet me and let's make it work. But he didnt want to, and he was quite rude. At the end, he sent me the rudest text ever asking me to come pick up my stuff from his place. I decided not to respond since i did not want it to get ugly. The next day morning, I received a text from him asking if I was okay. I very calmly said, "I'm fine, thanks for asking. I hope you are good too." I didn't hear from him for 3 days and I did not contact him.

 

Then on the 4th day, Monday, he emails me a random website and with some info that i would like to read. Then he texts me to see if I need my stuff back. After about 3 hours, I say, "thanks for reminding me about my stuff, I can get it from your work or you can drop it at mine." He replied right away that he will bring it to me tomorrow. Since it took 3 hours from me to text him, he texts my roommate to see if I am okay. My roommate, according to my instructions, tells him, "yeah why? I think she is fine, we are going to a dance class tonight. You shouldve partied with us yest., it was so fun." To let him know that I am fine and not affected by the break up, and I am doing things.

 

The next day, he repeatedly texts me to meet him, but since I was in meeting it took me a while to reply. I replied and went down to get my bag of things from him. He looks really depressed, I smile and act like I am completely okay. I make small talk and take my bag. He asks me for lunch, but I say I have to get back to work and leave. He just stands there sadly and watches me go. I get an email in 5 mins from him, saying "dont forget to...", reminds me to do something that he used to always tell me to do. I thank him, and say I'm trying to remember to do it with a smiley face. I add, "I couldnt get lunch today cause I had to run back to work, but let me know if you're free for lunch some other time. It was nice seeing you.

 

I get no reply.

 

After 2 days, I get another text from him, "I hope you're doing well and work is great." I reply, "Thanks for checking in, I appreciate it. Everything is great, how are you?". He replies, right away, "I hanging in there, taking it day by day, going to work and coming back." His friend was supposed to visit that weekend, so I say, "Isnt Dan coming here this weekend? That should be fun!" And he replies, "Yes, in a few hours! It should be!".

 

Then after 5 days, he changes his Facebook picture, I'm not on there anymore. I'm online so he messages me to see if I'm okay, and I tell him I am. And he says, that's all I wanted to ask, goodnight. And I say, Goodnight.

 

Then I emailed him 2 days ago, with a link to his favorite band, they are performing here. He replied super excited and happy, but he doesnt ask me anything so I have nothing to reply.

 

 

That's all I've heard from him. He has made himself an online dating profile and spends hours on it. I thought I was doing great! I made no contact, I acted as if I was not affected by the break up. My Facebook is full of people asking me to go out, I've been meeting people everyday, even trying to date. I think I did everything right, so please tell me what to do now? I really want him back!

 

Thanks and I really appreciate your help.

[TaraMaiden]

Basically, if you want him back, you should give him an opening.

I think he might be feeling his actions were hasty, but frankly?

Right now you're phukking with his mind.

You should have gone NC.

I think emotionally, you've turned out stronger than he is, and now he's finding it difficult to absorb that not only is it really over, but you appear to have moved on incredibly quickly.

Even though he ended it, it sounds as if actually, you're yanking his chain and dangling him on a string.

not only is he confused by his own feelings, he's completely bewildered by yours.

 

Mixed playful contact like this is disastrous, because it's too close to the event to become friend-zoned and amiably chatty.

[tashp]

I don't know if I understand correctly. I just got an email from him, another article as usual that he thought I would find interesting. How do I give him an opening?