earthfireuk Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 (edited) Ok so I went on my first date yesterday after my ex girlfriend broke up with me 7 weeks ago ( previous threads). It’s been the hardest two months of my life but I have slowly started to feel a little bit better, a little bit stronger. Still think of her all the time though. Had a really nice time on the date but I just feel so strange now... It’s horrible but I can’t help thinking she is not my ex and it has made me miss her so much... I know this new girl is different person who has her own lovely qualities and it isn’t fair for me to think that but I am still so very much in love with my ex. I kept thinking of her dating and being with other guys and it made me feel so sad. I thought it might make me feel good to start dating again and I guess in some ways it does (feel more confident) and it’s nice to feel that I am attractive again to the opposite sex but at the same time it has just cemented my feelings for my ex and how perfect she was for me. My ex and I have been in very slight contact (maybe a text once or twice a week). I just never realised a human being could love a woman as much as I love her. I’m hoping my feelings will change but my god I love that girl...... The girl I’m dating is fresh out of a relationship too so we both understand where we are at as far as relationships are concerned and know we are both not ready. Do you think dating is a good thing after a breakup? Has anyone else felt like this? I kinda hoped it might make me feel better about not being with my ex but in fact it has made me want her more.. Edited July 15, 2010 by earthfireuk
HeavenOrHell Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I didn't feel ready to date anyone else until about 8 months post break up. Ex left after 18 years a year ago this week, I'd neglected him as I was too busy for him. No way would I have felt ready sooner than that. I guess the longer your relationship was the longer it takes, plus also depends on how deep/close the relationship was, and why and how it ended. There's no fixed rules with this, it might be that someone else from an 18 year relationship may take quicker than me to move on or they may take far longer, it depends on the circumstances. I met someone new online, when we met IRL I did worry/wonder if it would feel strange to hug/be intimate with someone new but it actually felt totally right and natural, he was also left around the same time as me after a very long term relationship, it did help we were/are in the same boat. I did wonder if I would be comparing him to my ex or even that I might feel a bit guilty being with someone new, silly though as it was my ex who left me! In some small ways I've thought he's (my new partner) not the same as my ex in this or that respect, but I haven't thought that in a major way or in any way which bothers me, just little things now and again. But I've also thought how this is a totally new relationship and how I WANT it to be different to what I had with my ex, even though I felt me and my ex were perfect together, I do want something new now. I thought my ex was the love of my life and never thought I would get over him, move on, meet someone new. I was in constant hell for 7 months, could not see a way through at all. I went NC with my ex 7 months after we split as I was stuck in limbo unable to move forward, seeing him kept up hope of reconciliation. Soon as I went NC it became easier. We are both with someone new now, he's with an old friend of mine who I dreaded him ending up with, but it doesn't bother me now, we now meet up once a week, we will always love each other as friends. Friendship is not possible for everyone though. My advice to you would be please go NC, I don't think you will be ready to be with someone else until you do that. IMO you're not ready to be with someone else yet, except maybe casual dating, and as long as she knows the score. Otherwise you will just be looking for your ex in your partner and it will make you feel lonely I wanted my ex less after meeting my new partner, not more. Good luck Ok so I went on my first date yesterday after my ex girlfriend broke up with me 7 weeks ago ( previous threads). It’s been the hardest two months of my life but I have slowly started to feel a little bit better, a little bit stronger. Still think of her all the time though. Had a really nice time on the date but I just feel so strange now... It’s horrible but I can’t help thinking she is not my ex and it has made me miss her so much... I know this new girl is different person who has her own lovely qualities and it isn’t fair for me to think that but I am still so very much in love with my ex. I kept thinking of her dating and being with other guys and it made me feel so sad. I thought it might make me feel good to start dating again and I guess in some ways it does (feel more confident) and it’s nice to feel that I am attractive again to the opposite sex but at the same time it has just cemented my feelings for my ex and how perfect she was for me. My ex and I have been in very slight contact (maybe a text once or twice a week). I just never realised a human being could love a woman as much as I love her. I’m hoping my feelings will change but my god I love that girl...... The girl I’m dating is fresh out of a relationship too so we both understand where we are at as far as relationships are concerned and know we are both not ready. Do you think dating is a good thing after a breakup? Has anyone else felt like this? I kinda hoped it might make me feel better about not being with my ex but in fact it has made me want her more..
Username37 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 For me, I would wait a while until I date again If I want someone new, I want to be at least over my ex. I don't want to use the person as a band-aid ya know? Plus I don't want to think about my ex while she's telling me about herself. This is just me saying
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