casey001 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I need someones help This is going to sound ridiculous and I apologise in advance, honestly if no-ones answers I will understand!! There is this guy I absolutly can not get off my mind and I have met him TWICE! Its gets worse, I met him in April for about 3 hours, went about three months without seeing him or hearing from him (he moved away) and met him again in July when he came back for about 20 mins!!! During that three months I absolutly could not get him off my mind!! Now that I have met him again recently it has gotten worse. I think about him everyday and since I saw him again I have been in tears everyday. I dont even know why im in tears, but I feel VERY VERY sad all day everyday. He never rejected me and made some efforts to come and see me when he was here but im still SO sad and I dont understand why. What does it say about me when im utterly obsessed by a guy I have met twice? I cry over him, I can barely even eat today!! I just want to be with him soooooooooooooo soooo bad. The urge overwhelems me. PLEASSSE can you help me get him off my mind. Its seriously taking over my life!! What is wrong with me?
DontWorryBHappy Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Honestly you're acting a bit crazy. May I ask what it is about him that you like so much? (what makes him better than everyone else out there?). And have you even talked to him...?
Author casey001 Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 I no I am mental!!!! I went out with him both times so yes obviously I was talking to him lol Just now I saw him write a comment on a mates myspace site and I almost passed out. My heart completly caught in my throat. I no it is sooo silly. Theres nothing about him that is better than most people and I don't understand this obsession I have. I am seriously crying right now as im so sad and frustrated with myself. He doesn't really pay me much attention and I have had so many other guys treat with with more respect and pay me more attention. Im am going NC but just can't get him off my mind. Please help me. But please don't judge me, i dont want to feel this way and Im well aware im an absolute freak to become reduced to tears everyday by someone I have met twice
Curt Posted July 15, 2010 Moderators Posted July 15, 2010 He doesn't really pay me much attention and I have had so many other guys treat with with more respect and pay me more attention.( He clearly knows his way around females. I think he's a catch. How old are you and how old is he? Curt
Author casey001 Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 Thanks curt. Hes 23 im 22. Do you think there is some sort of underlying problem with me as im well aware this is insane. And how am I gunna get him out my head?!?! It MUST be done, it is driving me mad and taking over my life!!! btw; as crazy as I sound I dont act this way, I dont stalk him or anything!
Curt Posted July 15, 2010 Moderators Posted July 15, 2010 Do you think there is some sort of underlying problem with me as im well aware this is insane. And how am I gunna get him out my head?!?! It MUST be done, it is driving me mad and taking over my life!!! btw; as crazy as I sound I dont act this way, I dont stalk him or anything! OK... You may have a problem, and you may not. May be a scent/pheromone thing. Who knows? Anyways, raw curiosity, does he know how you feel about him? Dare I ask, have you ever ... y'know? Also, does he live nearby now ... and will he for the forseeable future? Curt
Author casey001 Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 Im not sure if he knows how I feel about him. I would be absolutly mortified if he knew how obsessed I was with him!!! I have invited him over a few times, which obviously I wouldn't do if I wasn't keen to see him but I have never said to him that im really keen on him. A mate said she told him but I have never myself said it to him. Im actually to scared to. He is apparently really shy and a massive wuss round girls, also a ex alcoholic!! So why am I absolutly obsessed with him???????!!! He has moved away for work again for the next 6 weeks and I absolutly must get him off my mind. Its almost like an evil spirit controlling my mind. I am utterly obsessed and I REALLY need help from you guys!!!
Curt Posted July 15, 2010 Moderators Posted July 15, 2010 Simple solution. Get him over when he gets home, and bust a move. If it's a no go, well ... so much for that ... but if he's on ... give 'er. Curt
Author casey001 Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 I would love to but I have a MAJOR fear of rejection!!! I dont deal with it well at all. Maybe that my big issue?
Curt Posted July 15, 2010 Moderators Posted July 15, 2010 Interesting that you should say that. I think you're onto something, and it makes no sense to me. Curt
Author casey001 Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 How does it make no sense? I thought the whole post made no sense, not just that part I do really appreciate your replies by the way! Im starting to calm down a bit more now thank goodness
Curt Posted July 15, 2010 Moderators Posted July 15, 2010 LOL Ahhh Casey ... if you're a nice lookin chick and you're invitin me over for a visit, and then you take er up a notch or two and I end up with the potential of a MAJOR hot night of it .... And I do NOTHING??? Wellllll .... I would only hope that the international male commission would take my man card away. Curt
Author casey001 Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 haha I no! I thought even if males weren't interested in a relationship or even the girl they would still be up for a hot night!! I didn't actually have that in mind when I invited him over but I was still a tad confused!! Maybe he has a gf back home? I don't know but I just need the stupid guy outa my head!!!!
Curt Posted July 15, 2010 Moderators Posted July 15, 2010 If I'm not into her, I'm not into her. Game over. But if I am and she tries what I'm suggesting ... she's gonna get some exercise. C.
Author casey001 Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 Thanks curt Actually he invited himself over a few times but then never showed up! I cleaned my whole house and everything lol I thought if he wasn't into me he wouldn't bother to say hes coming round in the first place! Weither he is interested or not (and I actually can't tell as his behaviour is all over the place) I just need to get him off my mind Do you know how? I want him to turn out to be a jerk so its easier lol
sultry33 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 You need to get busy.. if he cancelled before and he can tell it will be :hot: night then id say he is not interested... Most men would not turn that down.. As you know its insane you need to sort it out, get more friends hobbies etc I know a guy that everytime I see my heart flips.. but it aint going to happen;) Im not wasting my time waiting:) You will be ok
Curt Posted July 15, 2010 Moderators Posted July 15, 2010 I agree and disagree with Sultry. Yep, he may well not be interested, he may have performance anxiety (going back to his apparent shyness around girls) ... or he may be keeping you guessing ... who knows? Feelings can get in the way of facts. He may be playing the game well, maybe he's afraid, blah blah blah... As Sultry implies, go get a hobby, go out and enjoy your summer with friends, keep busy, work out, y'know ... just don't have your world revolve around him. Don't get tunnel vision. We could postulate all day and never know what the situation really is with him. Thing is to try and reframe and refocus on yourself (and other possibilities) if he isn't coming around. See Casey, often we build "towers" to people who just won't (or just can't) meet our expectations of them in some way or other, for some reason(s) or other(s). We almost make idols of them. The Good Lord hates idols. Plus, if we get hung up on one person who isn't coming around, it can totally blow our chances of someone else (who is JUST as awe-inspiring or life changing) coming into our lives. I've done it and a lot of people have. In time, you get to see how life-wasting that can become. It doesn't mean we can't have strong feelings for the other person/people and there's nothing wrong with having a strong affection or affinity for another human being in this world. Indeed, it helps us realize we can extend love to another human being, see them as a good (or even great) catch and appreciate them as creatures worthy of the best in life, too. What more positive lesson to take from such a situation? Keep us informed, Curt
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