rough_diamonds Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 So the guy I've been dating for the past 4.5 months (and friends with for 2 years) doesn't really want a serious relationship. He said he wants to "keep going the way things are, have fun and see what happens..". We probably see each other twice a week and it's usually a bit routined (ie no "hey let's go get pizza" kinda thing). Basically he told me he doesn't want me seeing anyone else (even though I've got options available). But we're not official. I feel like I could give my all to him but he isn't willing to give himself to me. For example it's his bday this weekend and he is going ice skating with some friends but I wasn't invited... On this, i'm not really going to get him much of a gift as we're not a couple, i see no need to get a gift like a SO would.. Anyways, he knows that I would love to be something more permanent in his life but he isn't going to give me that atm. What should i do? Stay and wait for him to come around (will he ever) or start to date other people.. thanks
sugarmomma Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Tell him you met someone more available than him. Dump him and find someone who will give you what you want. I just ended one like this and it was such a waste of time. Don't settle. Wait for what you want.
Pfiend101 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 What he means is "I'm not ready for a serious relationship with you." I would let him go and move on to one of your other options. If he doesn't care enough after 4.5 months hes not worth your time. He also sounds like a major douche.
SarahRose Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 You're wasting your time on him. Go ahead and date other people.
swedishfish Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 i have been seeing a woman for approx. the same amount of time.She says because of her last relationship (4 months) she wants to date , saying she doesnt know what she wants. However, she has kept her personals ad up on a few singles sites. Let me also say that i do most of the compromising, am the more affectionate, passionate and stay quiet as to not rock the boat. We are being intimate only with each other, we talk /test all day, call each other before bed, etc. Seems like we are exclusive, but she cannot say it. She also says she 's loves me as a person but is not "in love " with me. I am the romantic one, shes doesnt do anything romantic but cook dinner for us. I think you and i should move on to people who appreciate us.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Date other people, even if you stay with him. If he doesn't want to be exclusive, then you should not be force to date him exclusively. He means that he wants to use you and wants to get all the benefits of having an SO without the commitment. He'll either realize that you're not going to stick around and start getting serious with you because he values you or keep acting the same way. If he keeps acting the same way then he has no intentions of EVER being serious with you.
Serenitynow Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 How old are you ? And are you having sex ? He said he wants to "keep going the way things are, have fun and see what happens..". He could be seriously just enjoying being with you, but not wanting to be committed right now. Or he could be just enjoying having a friend that gets him off once in awhile (if sex is occuring) which makes you a helluva lot better than a guy friend Basically he told me he doesn't want me seeing anyone else But we're not official. So how can he tell you what to do if its not official ? Is he allowed to see anyone else ? Do you know if hes seeing anyone else ? .
zengirl Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 If you want a relationship, see other people. He is a time-waster if that's what you want.
BBG Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 This is not fair to you. He, having all the time he can to find for someone he would like more than you. And you, sitting and waiting for him to come by. Is he worth your time? Life's too short to spend it like how you're doing, don't you think?
spookie Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 So... he's not ready to commit. The question is, commit to what? He doesn't want you dating other people... is he dating anyone else? If not, I'd give him some more time to come around. It took 6 months for me to know for sure that I was in a relationship with my bf. He committed to exclusivity right off the bat, but wanted to take it slowly, "have fun and see where it goes", for that long. We did end up getting to the relationship.
LostLamb Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 My advice is to pull away and see what happens because you have a big problem- he knows you want more so has ALL of the power. Right now he sees you as a FWB but is selfish/confused hence the "don't see anyone else". I do think it's a bad sign not inviting you out on his birthday weekend and show that he might not care as much as he thinks , or maybe even trying it on with another "friend".
northstar1 Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 I agree with Lamb. If he is not willing to invite you out for his bday with his friends, it is a sign that he isn't considering you a 'girlfriend', but more a FWB. It may be that he does enjoy your company, but isn't looking for what you are. In that case you need to figure out if you are willing for casual, if not, time to move on
Author rough_diamonds Posted July 18, 2010 Author Posted July 18, 2010 I'm dumping him if even it constitutes a dumping label today.
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