doomage Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 about being hurt in the past by a guy dumping them because they were showing affection and texting, and then they meet a nice guy that treats them with respect and doesn't fly off the handle all the time, and treat him like garbage and ignore him? THey say they don't want a guy who cheats, and here I am not even going out and im faithful which she says she doesn't bang around while dating either, now i don't know what to think. I called her today when i got home from work and texted her two times in the morning after i fell asleep last night when she texted me, and still no response, every thursday we hang out but now im wondering after all that should i even ask her to meet up? She should look for me instead of me breaking my head trying to get in contact with her.
that girl Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Overgeneralize much? Some people (male and female) are into drama. Some people (male and female) are selfish. I have no idea who this girl is, but you need more than "she hasn't gotten back to me in 24 hours!" to justify "Sally treats men like garbage" nevermind "all women treat men like garbage!"
carhill Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Why do girls complain........ about being hurt in the past by a guy dumping them because they were showing affection and texting, and then they meet a nice guy that treats them with respect and doesn't fly off the handle all the time, and treat him like garbage and ignore him? Because they're psychologically unhealthy for a relationship with a healthy man. Once you accept that, you can better handle the dynamics of such people and choose more carefully. Hard-won experience, but valuable, IMO.
Curt Posted July 15, 2010 Moderators Posted July 15, 2010 Why do girls complain........ Because they enjoy it. All the best, Curt
Chicago_Guy Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 about being hurt in the past by a guy dumping them because they were showing affection and texting, and then they meet a nice guy that treats them with respect and doesn't fly off the handle all the time, and treat him like garbage and ignore him? THey say they don't want a guy who cheats, and here I am not even going out and im faithful which she says she doesn't bang around while dating either, now i don't know what to think. I called her today when i got home from work and texted her two times in the morning after i fell asleep last night when she texted me, and still no response, every thursday we hang out but now im wondering after all that should i even ask her to meet up? She should look for me instead of me breaking my head trying to get in contact with her. Don't contact her again until after she contacts you.
USMCHokie Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I called her today when i got home from work and texted her two times in the morning after i fell asleep last night when she texted me, and still no response, every thursday we hang out but now im wondering after all that should i even ask her to meet up? She should look for me instead of me breaking my head trying to get in contact with her. Good lord man...a girl should only get one voicemail...OR one text...OR one email... She's not interested...or she's a worthless human being...take your pick...
Author doomage Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 but how can she be acting like this if last week she was saying she still wanted to date me even though she wasnt ready for a relationship, she even grabbed my hand to hold it while we were walking. I promised myself that i would not contact her unless she contacts me and even then I will not be so easily attainable like before, since she wants to flip the script out of nowhere, two can play at that game. I just find it heartless, i mean if she really did care wouldn't she atleast take into account into how i feel, if i did it I'd be called and A hole.
Curt Posted July 15, 2010 Moderators Posted July 15, 2010 but how can she be acting like this if last week she was saying she still wanted to date me even though she wasnt ready for a relationship, she even grabbed my hand to hold it while we were walking. The only problem I see is that you are trying to ascribe logic to an area where she does not primarily use logic at all. Women and relationships rarely if ever are a logic-based scene. Emotions and instinct are queen, and logic in the female's mating dance is ... well, it simply doesn't exist. Curt
bunnixkisses Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 She should look for me instead of me breaking my head trying to get in contact with her. First off, that's a ****ty way to start a relationship. Pardon my bluntness. If you're starting things out by stating "she should be doing this".. I can promise you she will start stating "he should be doing that". Girls like bad boys. End of story. It sucks. But, it's life. Over analyzing this in my head numerous times, I believe it is a subconcious things. I know I don't wake up in the morning saying, Hey i'm going to go to the bar and find a guy that treats me like ****. Realistically, we all want guys like you. Humans want to be accepted, period. So when people play games, "hard to get" and ignore texts/calls and stuff like that... it makes the other person want them even more because they are becoming desperate for that approval. No one wants to feel rejected. Most ppl have control over it (such as yourself)..but some do not. But when girls get into that stage where they are SO desperate for attention because they have been withheld from it...they start acting "crazy". By crazy i mean, texting/calling all the time, being suspicious of jealous, nagging and complaining etc. They are trying to find explanations as to why their significant other is not giving them attention. It becomes an obsession. Your situation..sounds like she's playing the "bad boy" role and making you go crazy (Hince the reason you're on here ).. I'd say either play into it or turn the roles around. If you play hard to get...she will want you. You guys just need to find that happy medium so you both want each other.
Author doomage Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 When things were still going pretty good she made little comments about that she likes looking good, like wearing short shorts, because she want's to know that other guys are still checking her out. So i guess she likes the validation she gets from that knowing that she can get other guys. After she'd say something like that she'd look at my reaction, and i'd say so what your tryna get other guys? and shell say "no" but i don't know it's so messed up that she's just ignoring me out of the blue, I feel like this whole dating thing is over, but why won't she tell me it is instead of playing games with me and making me feel like crap. I do wanna see her today at school, since she's gonna be on my campus just like every thursday plus today is the last day of the summer session for me, but i don't want to contact her untill she gets in contact with me to meet up, i mean if you like somebody and you havent seen them like in five days you would want to see them. From thursdays to sundays she is out partying, except when she met me she slowed down a bit but now i guess she's back on track, this sucks. Should i ignore her for a whole day even if she wants to meet up today? Or what?
USMCHokie Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Your situation..sounds like she's playing the "bad boy" role and making you go crazy (Hince the reason you're on here ).. I'd say either play into it or turn the roles around. If you play hard to get...she will want you. You guys just need to find that happy medium so you both want each other. Or option 3: find someone else who doesn't play those bullsh*t games.
espec10001 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 She's still in party mode. Party mode girls are not fit for serious relationships. Trying to squeeze a relationship out of a party girl will only end in heartache for you. It would be wise to move on and find a girl more in line with what you really want. Party girls just want to have fun, and anything they sense that might be a little more serious than a party they run.
Author doomage Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 Well the only reason why really i wanted a relationship was to try it out, since I never had one real one, I mean i did have one in the past but i didnt like the girl, i just thought i would grow to like her but she wasn't physically attractive to me, that was like 5 years ago, im 21 now, but this girl is 20 so imagine when she turns 21 she's gonna up in the clubs (she's excited to turn 21 so she can go to the clubs) and of course guys are gonna sweat her. So I don't know today in the morning I texted to meet me where we always meet on thursdays, and thirty minutes later she replied "ok" to which i didn't reply cuz i didnt have to so we'll see how she acts in person. I'm just wondering should you reprimand girls if their acting all cold and aloof, and distant? or just play the same game? because if you put your foot down are you looked at as being clingy or nitpicky? some girls throw the word clingy around for no reason these days.
Curt Posted July 15, 2010 Moderators Posted July 15, 2010 I believe it is a subconcious things. I know I don't wake up in the morning saying, Hey i'm going to go to the bar and find a guy that treats me like ****. Realistically, we all want guys like you. Humans want to be accepted, period. So when people play games, "hard to get" and ignore texts/calls and stuff like that... it makes the other person want them even more because they are becoming desperate for that approval. No one wants to feel rejected. Most ppl have control over it (such as yourself)..but some do not. But when girls get into that stage where they are SO desperate for attention because they have been withheld from it...they start acting "crazy". By crazy i mean, texting/calling all the time, being suspicious of jealous, nagging and complaining etc. They are trying to find explanations as to why their significant other is not giving them attention. It becomes an obsession. Your situation..sounds like she's playing the "bad boy" role and making you go crazy (Hince the reason you're on here ).. I'd say either play into it or turn the roles around. If you play hard to get...she will want you. You guys just need to find that happy medium so you both want each other. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a fantastic response. I commend you for such an insightful post. Worthy of a sticky!
Cracker Jack Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Or option 3: find someone else who doesn't play those bullsh*t games. Wins the topic. Seriously, the game playing stuff is bs. No need wasting time on someone like that.
alphamale Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 She should look for me instead of me breaking my head trying to get in contact with her. the girl should always like the boy more than the boy likes the girl mr. doomage
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