mlchris2 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 I'm curious how many people think that statement is true? If you absolutely were in love with someone but some issues in your relationship were tough to handle would you let them go and hope that one day things would work out? I'm going thru a bit of a situation and I'm having a hard time. Not sure how to piece all my feelings together. I am curious thou and welcome advice, thoughts, etc. MC
PCuK1993 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 No for my opinion. Well I don't know but this is my opinion. If letting go of someone without trying a second chance meaning is that you don't love them as you don't need them as much. If you tried your second that means you really love them and want them back, even if you failed, we know that you loved her/him etc I rushed this as I have to go. Hope this helps you think.
Tayla Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 What that statement really means is- Let go of any hopes or personal growth that may have been experienced from that person. Let yourself forgive and move on. It can more likely be a humble time to reflect on being less selfish and learning they are not the fit necessary to make it thru the important issues. So if letting "go" , then do it with the intention of no return. Move forward with the hopes for good intent for each involved. Peace and letting go seem to go hand in hand. If I let em go...I let them grow. Its that simple
PCuK1993 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 What that statement really means is- Let go of any hopes or personal growth that may have been experienced from that person. Let yourself forgive and move on. It can more likely be a humble time to reflect on being less selfish and learning they are not the fit necessary to make it thru the important issues. So if letting "go" , then do it with the intention of no return. Move forward with the hopes for good intent for each involved. Peace and letting go seem to go hand in hand. If I let em go...I let them grow. Its that simple I must say, thats really good. But I don't think I'll be able to do that.
lullaby Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I have the tendency to fight till the end, so I don't look back and regret for what I didn't do but it depends on the situation and the type of problems you have with your partner. But it doesn't mean that only if you try and give tons of second chances you love the person, because sometimes loving someone means letting them go so they can think on their own, or I don't know what. Time surely helps to clear your mind, see what you feel and heal from whatever you're going through. It also depends on the person, if they are worth the fight or not
Tayla Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 mlchris, not sure what stage you are going thru , but I can tell you this, whatever choices you make in this matter, may it be done with genuine love for yourself. Whatever comes your way during this "let go or grab tight", know that you'll get thru it. I cannot say it any clearer then in my previous post. sometimes the heart rules yet the head must grasp what is best for the persons involved. Thinking that down the road maybe things will be different is false hope. You'll have made decisions and both grown in ways that are leading to new opportunities. It doesnt' mean you didn't love each other once upon a time, its actually a validation that it was an experience that will have wisdom in the end. Here is my support for you that things heal...
sheithappens Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it- George Halas with that said, it all depends on the person. If one chooses to pursue the ex and risk getting destroyed even more then do it. If one chooses to move on and live and experience life then do it, but at the end of the day..... They ALL come back eventually
Author mlchris2 Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it- George Halas with that said, it all depends on the person. If one chooses to pursue the ex and risk getting destroyed even more then do it. If one chooses to move on and live and experience life then do it, but at the end of the day..... They ALL come back eventually thanks for all the advice, the response above rings true. I am def torn thou. there are alot more factors that play into it.
Billy_Boy Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 I'm curious how many people think that statement is true? If you absolutely were in love with someone but some issues in your relationship were tough to handle would you let them go and hope that one day things would work out? I'm going thru a bit of a situation and I'm having a hard time. Not sure how to piece all my feelings together. I am curious thou and welcome advice, thoughts, etc. MC I do believe in this idiom. If you love someone you have to want whats best for them and you have to want for them to be happy. Sometimes that means letting go so they can go and be free and figure out more about themselves. Love is about growing, not restraining. I try to be a gardener of people and relationships in my regular life. I seek understanding and congeniality with people and as my feelings for them take shape and develop I begin to want whats best for them. If whats best for them is to let them go or to remove myself from their life then thats what I do. Love means sacrificing at times. When we put people into cages, it's no longer real...
lullaby Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it- George Halas with that said, it all depends on the person. If one chooses to pursue the ex and risk getting destroyed even more then do it. If one chooses to move on and live and experience life then do it, but at the end of the day..... They ALL come back eventually Yep. They all do it at some point but it all depends on what they offer. I'm learning that myself as being the dumpee now.
Nikki Sahagin Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 I didn't used to believe in this saying. I thought if you love someone, you do the exact opposite; you hold onto them through thick and thin and fight it out. However, I now realise that holding on can be very selfish. Letting someone go and relinquishing your hold on them whether it be a lover, friend or child, is incredibly difficult, but I do think that if you love someone you need to let them go, only if you let them go can they potentially come back. If you hold on too tightly, they will only grow to resent you and when they get free, they'll run for the hills.
New_Life08 Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 Yes, I believe it is true. If two people love each other the way they should, they are not going to let it go without a fight. This is not to say there wont be stubbornness that causes time to pass, but if it is love, it will come together. My boyfriend and I have had some issues where we walked away, agreed to cash in the chips. We were back together within 24 - 48 hours. (both of us equally grieving) I do not think a person should make a habit of breaking up because they are upset about something. I feel it should be an issue that involves a real deal-breaker. It is one way to figure out how both people feel about each other. It is a gamble to make such a bold choice...trust me...before you do, make sure you are prepared to accept that the other person may not come back.
soleharmony1123 Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 I'm curious how many people think that statement is true? If you absolutely were in love with someone but some issues in your relationship were tough to handle would you let them go and hope that one day things would work out? I'm going thru a bit of a situation and I'm having a hard time. Not sure how to piece all my feelings together. I am curious thou and welcome advice, thoughts, etc. MC I believe the statement is true. True love is unwavering...consistent...relatively unquestionable. If you love someone, you let them go with the hope that whatever is best works out - both in your best interests and that of your loved one. Sometimes a person will not protest...especially when/if their love is unprofessed. Sometimes they will.
selena_cat Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it- George Halas with that said, it all depends on the person. If one chooses to pursue the ex and risk getting destroyed even more then do it. If one chooses to move on and live and experience life then do it, but at the end of the day..... They ALL come back eventually awesome and very positive answer S.!":)
silic0ntoad Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 I'm more in the camp of "If you love them, be brutally honest, make it easy, and walk away." I don't believe in second chances, as I've never been given one. Only head games and further pain. So, in my book, telling them to go to hell is true love, since it's honest, direct, sincere, and really, it makes you and them angry, all the easier for you both to heal and move on. What it really boils down to is this: If you love yourself, let them go. Simple as that.
ngo_ng Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I can tell you this, if you truly love the other person, don't let go of them. Try to talk it out, communication is key. Of course it depends on what types of issues we are talking about. If things are to hard to solve, lay back, move on and reflect on the reasons for the issues. Grow from that and let them grown in a different direction, you will bloom from that. If ever that person feels the same way as you, then months or years down the road they will come back to you. They might see that the reasons keeping you apart are no longer valid and you are a new person altogether and that attraction might be back. But don't do that in hopes of getting them back. I am going trough this at the moment. She broke up 3-4x and it was always mostly my fault, she gave me 2-3x chances already, and I know she truly loved me, I was just to immature to take a position and make a commitment. Now that I have, it is too late, she's with someone new. I tried my luck, it worked for 3 weeks before going bust. Now I must grow apart from her. I hope this helped.
paleblue Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 (edited) im thinking its just a nice way for the dumpee to make sense of things, and helps to let go and move on. perhaps you will harbor less angst about being betrayed or whatever if you can convince yourself that this poetic trash is real. its kinda like pulling the wool over your own eyes. I do believe this sort of thing is helpful, if you believe it. Edited July 23, 2010 by paleblue
WithOrWithoutYou Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Yes, I agree with "If you love them, let them go." It is painful, and it doesn't mean that you shouldn't do whatever you can within certain limits to fix the relationship, but after a certain point, if someone doesn't want to be with you as much as you want to be with them, and if you love them, you should just let them go. It is even possible that the other person will come back, but that isn't why you do it. You do it because you care enough about them to want them to be happy, even if that is without you. You also do it as a form of self-love, as you know that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you, just as much as you want to be with them. If that isn't the case, the two of you are better off living separate lives. Again, this can be very painful, but sometimes, it is the only answer. Time will heal your wounds.
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