Gallaxia Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 What do you think is wrong with society? In terms of how it affects dating?
espec10001 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 I just got sick of it being more about what you *have* and not about who you *are*.
Woggle Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Aside from sexual attraction the two sexes pretty much hate each other. The dating world of today is a very hostile and toxic climate if you want to create a healthy relationship.
espec10001 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Aside from sexual attraction the two sexes pretty much hate each other. The dating world of today is a very hostile and toxic climate if you want to create a healthy relationship. I think the word "hate" is a little too strong. I think the economic turmoil we are experiencing has a lot to do with it. If you aren't sure you're going to have a a job any given day, dating is kind of difficult, right?
make me believe Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 The games that people play and the hook up culture that we live in now. I think the hook up culture is the biggest problem. It makes proper dating practically non-existant. People think that getting together at the bar with a group of friends or texting someone to "hang out" constitutes a date. It doesn't! Also, casual sex is a problem too IMO. I've seen so many situations where someone (usually the girl) thinks that sleeping together automatically means something & that the other person now owes them the same treatment they'd give a bf/gf. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way because many people don't want to settle down into a relationship when they know their next potential hook up is at the bar down the street..
gamma1 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Each person makes their own choice if they want to play mind games. From what I've seen, more play these games than not.
Serenitynow Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Games are the biggest problem. They are passed on by mothers, fathers, brothers sisters, friends, etc. People are raised and molded by their own "team"(sex) They are pretty much brainwashed into thinking that their is an imaginary scoreboard that keeps track of the male vs female game. Always worried about getting one over, or one up, on the opposite sex. Dont dare let them know you have feelings, or emotions, lets all pretend we arent interested in that person that makes our heart beat like mad. Movies, tv shows, etc all portray how to play the game, and most sheep, er people, follow in line.
txsilkysmoothe Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Men stopped being men, women stopped being women, and everyone stopped being human!
sumdude Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 there have been a lot of changes in the last 50 or so years. Birth control, women coming into the workforce in droves, changes in gender roles, moving away from 'traditional' religious systems et al. But honestly if you really look at it? Nothing has changed that much in the world of love, mating and dating from the start of recorded history. Read Shakespeare, ancient stories of lost love, unrequited love and betrayal. Art and music through the age of human existence may have changed forms but the stories never change.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Commercialism in the media in which stereotypes are used liberally to create a pseudo-culture in which stupidity reigns. For instance, there's a beer commercial by Heineken in which a group of young woman are in the little room and they are all ooing and ahing about an assortment of womans apparel accessories. They the substitute a scene of young men in the same size room where there is nothing but Heineken cases on the shelves. The guys are all oohing and ahing like the bunch of shallow and flighty chicks in the opposite scenario. This shi+ does effect people's perceptions or Heineken wouldn't spend millions on it. It's insulting to both genders and potentially rubber-stamping alcohol worship and female shallowness.
Disillusioned Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Is it too inaccurate to say that the Battle Between the Sexes has resulted in Mutually Assured Destruction? And that all of our games have turned out to be of the unwinnable, zero-sum variety? Consider why the TFL and MGTOW movements were started. IMO the biggest reason why the singles scene in the US resembles Hiroshima on August 7th, 1945 is because of all these unwritten rules we're taught as adolescents. You've heard them all: never tell it like it is, always play hard to get, etc etc. I can only speak for myself, but I have a wee bit of a problem with some of those rules. Single society is schizophrenic about sitting down at a table with someone of the opposite sex, whipping out our wish list, and interviewing them right then and there for the "job" of SO. A lot of us secretly want to do that, but we don't want to make waves by breaking the unwritten rules---and anyway we're surrounded by plenty of other singles who mutter and call us fools when we do that. Damn that felt good... >:-)
gamma1 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 all these unwritten rules we're taught as adolescents. You've heard them all: never tell it like it is, always play hard to get, etc etc. Single society is schizophrenic about sitting down at a table with someone of the opposite sex, whipping out our wish list, and interviewing them right then and there for the "job" of SO. A lot of us secretly want to do that, but we don't want to make waves by breaking the unwritten rules---and anyway we're surrounded by plenty of other singles who mutter and call us fools when we do that. I think people use society does it as an excuse to keep playing by these unwritten rules. I would say those who can easily find dates and relationships, as a whole, love these rules and this game playing. They literally can not get enough of it. Someonetimes those that have been burned by an ex love the game playing just as much to get back at the entire sex. Those who have trouble getting dates generally hate the game playing.
Author Gallaxia Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 Dude, there's a secret war going on with these thin invisible lines. Each side's trying to out-do/out-wit the other. And the mind games! MY GOD THE MIND GAMES! Evvverybody's got their dukes up. Do something unconventional, or even genuine? Well! Back of the line you go! 'What do you mean "invest emotion" ?! C'mon!' Game playing seems like a defense mechanism to cover the more deep seeded things experienced, never previously acknowledged or dealt with.
gamma1 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Dude, there's a secret war going on with these thin invisible lines. Each side's trying to out-do/out-wit the other. And the mind games! MY GOD THE MIND GAMES! Evvverybody's got their dukes up. Do something unconventional, or even genuine? Well! Back of the line you go! 'What do you mean "invest emotion" ?! C'mon!' Game playing seems like a defense mechanism to cover the more deep seeded things experienced, never previously acknowledged or dealt with. There does seem to be a secret war, but only between some people. Everyone has a choice in whether they want to play these games which play with people's emotions in a very negative way.
TouchedByViolet Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 The mind games and constant struggle to maintain an imaginary high ground when dating is the worst. Even if you don't want to participate you find yourself in the cross fire.
Author Gallaxia Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 I don't believe it's necessarily a choice Gamma1, because: The mind games and constant struggle to maintain an imaginary high ground when dating is the worst. Even if you don't want to participate you find yourself in the cross fire.
gamma1 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I don't believe it's necessarily a choice Gamma1, because: If you are in the "crossfile" you can participate or not. It is absolutely a choice, yet people have a million reasons to explain it away. The majority of women I've tried to date have played games, which often ruined everything. They tell me to call them because they want to talk. I call and leave a message and no call back or sometimes a call a week or more later. I'm talking to them and they tell me they have to do something and they will call right back. It's so bad that I'm actually surprised when they do call back. These are just some of the phone games I've had to deal with. It's one lie after another with some of them. There is no excuse. They consciously chose to play the games.
skydiveaddict Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Men stopped being men, women stopped being women, and everyone stopped being human! I agree with this
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