MissIceCream Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Before my ex became my ex he was everything to me, and I believe I was everything to him. He was charismatic, smart, funny, and arrogant. Something I know all of us women love. A lot of people, even my friends saw it as an odd match for me physically. Well, he wasn't the tallest, nor the thinnest. I was use to the cliche tall, dark and handsome. But I didn't care. I was in love. After two dates he became my boyfriend, and we spent every waking moment together, and I also practically slept over every night. I really didn't know how special I was to him until his roommate told me he has never brought a girl back to his place in all the years he had moved in nor did he ever really talk about anything private with him. He also proceeded to tell me how aloof he was at work, too. After a week of dating, I told him I loved him. I don't know why I chose to tell him, but I did. I was expecting the reaction of total surprise, shock, and even for him to run for the hills, but he didn't! He gave me a smile and looked at me adoringly, and told me how much he cared and like me, too. Our relationship became stronger. Only two months into the relationship he asked me if I was willing to move with him to Washington, and I said yes. It was all great until I stopped taking my meds for Bipolar and everything hit the fan. I started to lie to him about everything, and he was catching on. I couldn't stop lying! He's a social worker, and he told me early on that there's only one thing he can't stand is lying. There were countless times where he had to absolutely corner me to make me tell the truth. After two break ups and getting back together, he had enough and broke it off for good. We went out together as friends the night after we broke up, and on the way to drop me off at home I tried to beg and plead with him to take me back, and that I can change, but he wasn't buying it. When we got to my house at 3am I realized I didn't have my house keys with me, and I had to wait for my roommate to get home. Well, he became very fed up with me trying to plead with him while waiting and asked me to get out of the car, and I refused to leave. So I did the natural idiotic thing to piss him off more. I yanked out the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car with a very angry ex coming after his keys. He yanked the keys out of my hands and drove off leaving me there with no way to get in! We encountered each other again a week later at the casino where we first met, and play poker at. I was very drunk that night, I ended up following him out and tried to talk to him only to have security called on me by him. I called him after he left and asked him why he would do to me? He said "because you're crazy." But he proceeded to talk to me for hours that night. I saw him again a few days later in the same damn poker room. You would think he would try to avoid me right? Well, it was late at night and the tables were braking; I got routed to his table, and we didn't even bother to look at one another. It was only when I got heads up with him and lost the pot did he throw back my chips. And I just told him it was his, he won it outright. I got off the table to take a breather outside and was walking back to the poker room when I nearly crashed into him opening the door. We just looked at each other blankly. I was the first to talk, I asked him if he was willing to talk. He just nodded and went to a bar stool and sat down. I sat beside him and told him how much I missed his friendship and our laughter together. He really didn't want to get involved again, but he relented. He sighed, and said "ok." The next day we went out for a movie, lunch, dinner, and we gave each other massages! What the hell right!? We spent the next four days together. Argh! A week before his move for WA we argued again, and didn't talk for two days until he text me late at night telling me that he needs space. I didn't feel the need to respond so I didn't. Half hour later he text again "Did you get that?" I didn't respond again. And an hour later he text again "Guess it doesn't matter." I was just so confused by him. I saw him the next in the poker room and tried talking to him only to get ignored. That was it for me. I just wanted him to move faster. I went to a friend's house that night and was having a great time until I got a text from him saying that he wanted me to stop talking about him in the poker room. I was very upset at the nerve of him. I told him how much of an arrogant ass he was, only for him to tell me to delete his number. I did. After a week after he left I found out I was pregnant! I was absolutely horrified and didn't know what to do, so I went to his ex roommates house and told him the "good" news. He told me I had to tell him even though I didn't want to. His roommate was very supportive and was even there when I told him. When I called and told him he called me a liar and didn't believe it at all. He said it was only a ploy to get him back. I wanted to punch him in the face. Before he came back to California I lost the baby, and was devastated. After the loss, his roommate and I became very good friends. He invited me to go to Vegas with him even though it was suppose to be a trip with just the boys (including my ex.) He told me everything was going to be fine and he wouldn't catch us at all. I know it is a HUGE mistake. On this trip I got really intoxicated and ended up naked in bed with my ex's best friend! There was no sex though! But the damage was done my ex found out the naked girl in bed with his friend was indeed me, and somehow turn my friend againts me, and left me there in Vegas with no money!!! How can any guy do that?! I tried to text my friend what the hell happened he just text me back that I lied, used, and conned him! I couldn't believe this at all! I never tried to hurt him, nor did I use him. I was crushed on how people can be so messed up. But I didn't blame him. Stranded in Vegas, and destroyed I got a message from my ex asking me if I was still in Vegas, and if I was for me to come up to his room to strip for him and his friend for money. It was absolutely insulting, and degrading but I wanted to go home so bad. I said yes, but only for him to back out in the end. I finally got home though, how? That's another essay all together. It has been a week since then. I am on my meds again, and I will never be off again! I ruined my relationship because I didn't take care of myself. When there's no trust there is nothing. I can't blame and hate him. I did it to myself.
Author MissIceCream Posted July 14, 2010 Author Posted July 14, 2010 (edited) It started six months ago forgetting to take my pills one night, and it turned to another and another. I felt like I didn't have a problem then. Of course I was wrong. Any insights, questions, and comments would help me immensely. Thank you. Edited July 14, 2010 by MissIceCream just wanted to add some other stuff.
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