Iselia Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Hi guys! I've posted here before, wondering if I had a second chance with my ex before: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t237896/ I am beginning to see POSITIVE signs that she is coming around. But now I'm in doubt. A lot of doubt. I found out my ex has been going to an anonymous message board type thing and posting on it. She told me this a while ago. Today, I was messing around on google, typing in things pertaining to my life and seeing what's coming up. Of course I google my ex, just curious to see what comes up. I found the message board she was posting on. I know it's her too, because apparently it's a "fad" to post of picture of yourself in your sig, and not give out any more ID on the boards. The thread she posts on is called 'Dirty Little Secrets.' So I'm going to quote somethings she has said on it. I'm hoping someone will give me some guidance as to what I should do. I'm thinking about meeting her tomorrow, being honest and expressing my concern, telling her to think some things over, and if she wants to work on it contact me. Then I'll go NC. And when I say IF she wants to make it work, then bang on the door until I open and specially say "I want you back, I love you." No e-mails, no phone calls, no Facebook. Here are some quotes that have me at odds: July 4th "if you just... stopped trying to be a part of my life, everything would be much easier. i could stop loving you, wanting you. you could... i dunno, just let go. maybe it's what we need, baby. i like it less than you, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do." "[sIZE=1]Something is very wrong. I want to be here, but I'm going there. I didn't want her, but I miss her. I pushed them all away, but I need them here."[/sIZE] July 6th "Obviously, neither of us are comfortable with the way things ended. I barely made an effort. I've let go of some sh*t. Let's try again. That way, even if we do end up f*cking up again, at least I can say I tried. At least it'd feel justified. " "(Not out of lonliness, or sympathy, or guilt, or feeling obliged.) But we're unofficially back together. Where does that place me? In the same position of cheating as being in a relationship? Hm. I think so. " "Future-thinking= relationship destroyer. STFU with the what ifs. Trust that you smiled today. Trust that you'll keep making her smile. I think we'll do fine." July 8th "Will I ever stop talking about this? How long will it take? You've helped me see things differently. You've done things for me that will probably affect the way I interact with people for the rest of my life. Part of what you've shown me keeps me from being with you. And I still just really wish I was emotionally available to give you something so good." "But where I am now, promising I'll try, I will try. But to honestly say that I think we'll work out foreverforever is a bit reaching. But I promised, so I guess I'll stick with it. You don't fill me up. But we care about each other, the way we fit together and can get along, is really rare. Is that enough for me? Should that be enough for me?" "I know things get stagnant for a while, but this is a whole new level of stagnant. A lot of times, I just need more spacespacespace. I'm only excited to see you when you've gone missing for a week, or more. 8l Someone tell me if this is normal, or proper, in a relationship." "Maybe I just need a b*tchslap in the face. Wake up and appreciate the damn girl. Why isn't it making me feel any better?" Sorry for the long post. I'm so concerned about any possible future with her. =( It's like she wants to try again, but for all the wrong reasons... WHAT SHOULD I DO?! D=
Ronni_W Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Sorry but I'm not following something: On July 6, were you two "unofficially back together" and, on July 8, did she promise [you] that she'd try? If not, then these entries don't appear to be about you. But if they are about you, then she also said (about you): "You don't fill me up." I'd actually suggest that you do nothing. Especially NOT "telling her to think some things over, and if she wants to work on it contact me. Then I'll go NC. And when I say IF she wants to make it work, then bang on the door until I open and specially say "I want you back, I love you." No e-mails, no phone calls, no Facebook." That all sounds way demanding and controlling...and kinda silly/juvenile, to be honest. I would just laugh if someone said something like that to me -- but you know her personality...would she take it seriously in the slightest?
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