guarded Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 so i was chatting with a friend and he sends me this porn link and he says "this is what i imagined you looked like, except you're skinnier"- ummm should i be insulted?
Shakz Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Umm, are you a boy or a girl? Because if you are a boy I think it's an insult. However, if your a girl its an insult. What a dink! This is the type of person you hang around with?
Author guarded Posted July 14, 2010 Author Posted July 14, 2010 Im a girl. He used to have a thing for me years ago and he asked me out and nothing happened and then he proposed that we try being FWB. We lost touch and just recently started talking again, i try and avoid the sexual talk and tried talking as normal friends would. etc. about the soccer for example but eventually he kinda steered the conversation to that topic. i didn't acknowledge the comments and when i said goodnite that's when he sent me that link and said that... i tried not to be so serious about it all and cracked a joke and i said that i looked hotter than her lol. and he said yeh you do, and that he meant when he pictured me naked that's how he imagined i looked but skinnier... he said he still holds that fantasy and that he'd still like to do that kind of stuff to me should i be flattered that he thinks of me that way or do all men at some capacity think of their women friends that way?
BubbleFreak Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 I think it was meant to be a compliment, but doesn't mean you should take it as one. I mean, I don't get the whole FWB thing, and if I thought someone was just a friend and he kept pushing the sex thing I'd find it disrespectful. I made a thread about guys being friends with girls a long time ago. General consensus was guys only make friends with girls they think they have a chance with at dating. Very few guys said they would be friends with a girl just for the sake of it, except gay guys and guys that became friends initially because of the sexual attraction but the friendship turned platonic.
griffinchicken53 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 probably intended as a compliment, but in hindsight later he might wish he hadn't said it. i think in complimenting a girl i made a reference to her being "doable" (in an email not face to face) but she kind of lessened contact after that, and then just stopped talking to me. guess she doesn't like talking to losers.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Im a girl. He used to have a thing for me years ago and he asked me out and nothing happened and then he proposed that we try being FWB. We lost touch and just recently started talking again, i try and avoid the sexual talk and tried talking as normal friends would. etc. about the soccer for example but eventually he kinda steered the conversation to that topic. i didn't acknowledge the comments and when i said goodnite that's when he sent me that link and said that... i tried not to be so serious about it all and cracked a joke and i said that i looked hotter than her lol. and he said yeh you do, and that he meant when he pictured me naked that's how he imagined i looked but skinnier... he said he still holds that fantasy and that he'd still like to do that kind of stuff to me should i be flattered that he thinks of me that way or do all men at some capacity think of their women friends that way? It's entirely up to you. Not being a judgemental type it sounds like you played with the gesture a little and maybe felt a little flattered. I kinda hate when people who don't know anything about those involved or what was in that clip and whether it was prurient or artful come out with these damning remarks as if they are authorities. I don't know enough to say but if you like him and obviously he's been carrrying a thing for you, you might want to risk seeing if he's a real creep or just a fool who is so taken by you that the concidence of seeing your look alike in any piece of media is something he felt was an opportunity to share. It may have just turned out to be a porn link. No real harm done. I like to err on the side of the benefit of the doubt in such matters and not have some sort of instant presumptuous meltdown of sexual repression as if I know your dynamic and history with this man.
TaraMaiden Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 If you have sex with him, I predict he will drop you like a hot brick, because he will finally have achieved getting his end, away. The only reason he's still pursuing you, is because he still wants that chance. He's not being a friend. He's being a predator. I'd start talking to him about another guy who's shown an interest in you... someone who's asked you for a date, or even a BF. Tell him you're in a relationship. see what happens: he will either press his urgency to have sex with you, or he will go silent. One or the other, will show he's only after one thing.
marsle85 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Well... I don't think it's far-fetched to say he's sexually interested in you. Yikes! He doesn't sound like someone worth a thread on a dating site, muchless romantic sentiment. Kinda freaky actually.
Author guarded Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 I don't know enough to say but if you like him and obviously he's been carrrying a thing for you, you might want to risk seeing if he's a real creep or just a fool who is so taken by you that the concidence of seeing your look alike in any piece of media is something he felt was an opportunity to share. It may have just turned out to be a porn link. We’ve known each other for awhile. He told me he fell for me years ago but I started dating someone else and got engaged so he felt I shot him down. So we lost touch and naturally he got over me. When we spoke about this a few months ago he said that he doesn’t think he could ever feel for me that way again, but what I didn’t understand is why he found it hard to be in contact and be around me because he didn’t want to rekindle old feelings…. I mean he seemed certain that he just can’t feel that way again and he told me that he doesn’t see me as a relationship! So why? We didn’t talk for 2 months and he sends me an apology out of the blue. It’s annoying that he can easily be friends with other women and clearly from what I see on fb he can interact with them without the sexual connotations so why can’t he be like that to me?! You know when you get that feeling that someone isn’t telling you the whole truth, or hasn’t opened up? I have that feeling. And why does he turn everything on me and make it seem like I’m wanting more than he wants from me? I don’t know what I want myself (besides wanting him to care and me to have the upperhand lol) but I know I don’t and havn’t shown signs. Is it safe to assume that it’s just about sex? Do you guys think that its insulting just to be seen that way? If you have sex with him, I predict he will drop you like a hot brick, because he will finally have achieved getting his end, away. The only reason he's still pursuing you, is because he still wants that chance. A chance to fulfil that fantasy he was on about? I can’t say I havn’t thought about it, I mean the man is hot but I don’t want to be just a number…..I don’t sleep around, I’ve had lots of opportunities but I can’t seem to bring myself to just sleep with any man. I’m 24 and I’ve only ever slept with 2 men, I feel like I’m missing out so to speak lol. Now I have an opportunity to sleep with someone I like but I don’t want to be just a number because I know it would mean something to me. he will either press his urgency to have sex with you, or he will go silent. Funny you say that….. he’s moving states soon. Well apparently, but from what i got on his fb he's not 100% sure he's moving.
Author guarded Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 So is this just about sex? He's hot and i wish there was more to it than sex...... Heck... should i just live a little and give in??? or would that just be the biggest mistake? should i even be entertaining these messages?
BobSacamento Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 So is this just about sex? He's hot and i wish there was more to it than sex...... Heck... should i just live a little and give in??? or would that just be the biggest mistake? should i even be entertaining these messages? If it's just sex what is the big deal? Have some fun for once.
TaraMaiden Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 So is this just about sex? I get the impression that ultimately for him, yes, it is. he's being really nice, but - well, you're hardly going to leap into bed with him if he behaves like a Class 1 @sshole, are you? He's hot and i wish there was more to it than sex...... Heck... should i just live a little and give in??? or would that just be the biggest mistake? If you honestly believe, that by having sex with him, "more to it" will miraculously develop or evolve.... well, all I can say is, brace yourself for a big disappointment.... should i even be entertaining these messages? Sure, by all means. Providing that's all they are. Entertaining. If it's just sex what is the big deal? Have some fun for once. It's just sex, for him. For her, she wishes it was more than 'just sex'. And that's the 'big deal'. It would be fun for the time they have sex, but I have a feeling the situation would rapidly go sour for her. And there's no fun in that.
New_Life08 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 He is trying to test the waters and see if you will go along with his dirty little habits. Anyone who would use a porn link to see if you look like a person....is a pervert! He is doing it so he can imagine it being you. He obviously has some sort of sexual fantasy he wants to pull you into and if I were you I would tell him to get lost!
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