shabookittie Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Today was our anniversary...9yrs. We have been seperated for a year but still living together b/c of kids and finances. Not my choice really. He awoke remembering our anniversary this morning and gave me quick peck on the cheek. I had actually forgotten... We spent the day together due to a situation beyond our control. We sort of just went through the motions without emotion today. I have felt numb. He suggested we go for a quick cheap dinner...and said lets take the kids with us. How do you handle being seperated on a day like today?
What_Next Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 I know it must be hard, read my thread for an example of what NOT to do on your anniversary. To give you a condensed version, my wife and I were also seperated but living under the same roof. On our sixth anniversary we went on a "date" as suggested by our MC. I went all out and did the romantic dinner thing, what a DISASTER. We ended up fighting and it went real bad, real fast. My suggestion, keep it light. I'm not sure of your story and whether or not there is any hope of reconiliation, and if there is don't make a big deal of this day. Recognize it, perhaps do that light dinner even with the kids. Maybe a game of cards, or board game or even watch a movie together. Anniversaries are hard, especially in a situation like yours.
wrencn Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 My 11 year anniversary was on the 2nd. It was a tough day, but I just spent a bunch of time with my kids and tried to not think about it. It was tough because all I could think was, this is my last anniversary. Hang in there, do something really nice for yourself. We were still living in the same house though. We didn't even speak to each other, just pretended it was just another day.
HopelessinDTW Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Don't know what your exact situation is but, if there are no plans to get back together...just treat it like any other day...because your stbx is now just another person who happens to be the mother of your children...that's the only connection you need to think about. So the wedding anniversary by default is just another day. This is tough to do, but you must be strong...
Butterflair Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 The 1st would have been my 33rd Anniversary. I went out of town, stayed in a motel for two days so I would have privacy (my son and his family live with me) in case I fell apart. I went to the mall and read and did not much of anything. I reflected on my life, my marriage and my future. I did not fall apart, I think I took a step toward healing. Four more months until I can get my divorce. The separation time is so long.
Author shabookittie Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 We did go out to dinner. And we took the kids with us. I thanked him for dinner on the way home. Very platonic. Matter of fact sort of day. I didn't talk to him unless I was really spoken to. We had one fight as we went to our seperate rooms in the house. But even fighting these days don't affect me. I am simply numb. Funny thing. When I awoke, I went into to the kitchen for coffee. He comes from behind and gives me a quick peck...with a happy anniversary. He says "even though it isn't ideal." When I turned I saw in the dark this big stuffy bear my daughter had left on the counter. For a split second I thought he had gotten it for me...as corny as it might seem. I told him I thought it was a gift from him at first. He smirked and said, "nah, don't you think our kids have enough stuffed animals?"
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