marigo Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 So on Thursday, it'll be exactly a month since my ex and i last talked. Ive lost the urge to call him since the last time we talked, we ended up having a misunderstanding and he said some things that motivated me to really not contact him because i think he is expecting me to not stick to my words. I didnt stop him from contacting me but he hasnt. I cant help but wonder if he misses me or if he even remembers me or if he even thinks of me even just a little bit. I do really miss him though. So now the torture part, i cant stop looking at his facebook profile. Or sometimes, he'll be on my newsfeed about some update he makes. I know whatever he updates on there would probably hurt me like it always does even if theres nothing wrong with the update. Its really just the fact that every time i see an update, its another reminder that he really can live his life without me. I want to stop checking it but i dont know how. Hes been talking and commenting with this girl back and forth. I have no idea whats goin on with them. Its a lot of playful joking around, making fun of each other. Its hard to tell what they are since my ex loves to joke around and make fun of people. I know i shouldnt care about what happen to them or if they really are just friends or whatever. But the more i see the comments, the more i want to keep checking but its hurting me every time. My imagination goes crazy when i dont know whats going on. I know im not the only one who has done this or is doing this. So for those who did this in the past, how did you guys stop? For those still doing it, are you guys able to control it?? How did you guys stop torturing yourselves? Im mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I cant sleep at night. I get stomach aches because i get so nervous about what im gonna see and yet i still keep doing it. I know im torturing myself by doing this. I really want to stop but its so hard.
GrayClouds Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 You are in a pain and a part of you is looking to confirm your hurt, to justify it, give it some meaning. So you keep going back to the thing that caused the original pain, the EX. Ironically enough by doing so it is away to avoid dealing with the pain, so it keeps us stuck. Time helps, though there are other things you can be doing. Journal your thoughts with pen and paper, write them down fast and hard without worring about spelling, grammar or punctuation, Just let them go from your head to paper and write until you can not write anymore specially before bed. Make sure your eating, good healthy food and at regular time. Yes you do not feel like it but force yourself to do so, a person can not feel well unless they are eating well. Then make sure your getting some exercise; walk, run, lift whatever but do it and do it until you tired, and do it everyday. I will assure you if you do those three things in a few weeks you will be doing better. .
sugarmomma Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 It helped that I deleted by ex from FB. You should try it. Best wishes
jquest1280 Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 I Agree with sugarmomma - delete him from Facebook. It was easy with my ex - he wasn't on FB. He doesn't put himself "out there". So although I probably hungered for information, I couldn't find any (and I couldn't bring myself to stalk him.) I can imagine how difficult it would be if your ex was a movie star (good grief), it would be very hard not to see any news about him and his latest squeeze. But Facebook - easy. Stop torturing yourself and just delete him.
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