Hawaiian808 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 (edited) 2-Months Relationship (as a friend but, tried to be close of being more then that) I'm a guy whose in love with a girl. She's very beautiful, cute, an pretty. I didn't even know sh was hot. I only like her because her personality, what she does, what she likes, and she changed my life. It was so important that I'm not nervous or shy anymore. I could talk to her straight up and tell her how I would feel and acknowledge her everyday because I was concerned about her and her kids. She makes me smile (blush) whe she smiles at me. I feel bad and depressed when she's sad. Everyday she works hard at her job for 6 days, about a week straight with 1 day off. She has 2 kids. I told her stop working and let me look for a job because the way and the condition she's in right now isn't healthy at all. She didn't want my money but, she appreciated it for helping out. I've told her that I'd support her and her kids if they needed anything but, she never needed any help. After a few days we talked, we both hated our father in a different way but, in common we share things together. Music, movies, what we like to do for fun, dancing, etc. I know what she has been through and what she does most of the days in the exact schedule week by week. I visited her everyday at her job, talk to heR. Everyday I can't stop seeing her because she's so beautiful and I would never call her for some reason..I've always wanted to see her in person. She showed me a picture of her kids. She told me she would send it to me on my phone but, I didn't have one. I was happy and excited. One day, I invaded her territory to know what she really as like. It was online information on the internet..After I thought thatwas her, I couldn't recognize her picture because she looks different in every photo. I went back again and I saw her kids photos so, I've printed it out on a nice photo for her. She never gotten a photo of her kids at all, not even one and her grandma wanted one so I made a copy. She was happy a lot. Later, I asked if she had a boyfriend. She said, "No, I'm not ready to have one". I asked her if she would choose me. She said, "Yeah because you have good intentions". I was happy but, it wasn't a guarantee. She only liked me as a friend only as a friend. I really like her a lot after we talked, everything we talked about, I really liked her, ever since she changed my life. I was so excited and love because my family and friends couldn't change my life. I used to be a toothpck, easily to pick on, bullied. I've stepped up tall as a true hawaiian guy. I've asked her to go out to the concert or anywhere with me but, she never gave me chance, not only on my days but, on her days off as well. I want to give her, her own space and time because she has kids. She gone out to clubs and everythng else but, all she does is love her babies. I had the same feeling as her I've wished to be there father one day. I cried when I thought about them. I never met them before because she said, "She wanted the right guy to see her kids and get married". I was still kinda sad one day because I didn't know what I want and what she wants. I asked her if she had a bad day because I had a bad day amd I always feel it in a way of being psychic. She told me a few things that was going on and I'd ask her, if she needed me to help her I would, but, she told me "She could handle herself" so I was like Damn!! She was so great. I could look at her all day because she's beautiful. I bought her roses because I pomised her that I would " Protect, suppot, care for her, everyday". She appreciated and told me" didn't have to but, it was a nice day". Alot of people stared at me when I brought her roses to her job, I was so shy and nervous but, happy!. When I seen her everyday 4-5 times a week straight to see how she was doing and everything was fine. I didn't know what I wanted to do in life because I felt that since I had good intentons which was her and her kids. I wanted to do something fun in life that she would be proud with what I'm doing also, not just for myself but togehter me and her. I've fallen in love with her and I couldn't hold my feelings for her because I didn't know what I wanted. I want tell she accepts what we both share. It's not just myself, its for both of us. She only like me as a friend, not as a boyfriend. I was kind of sad because I've never gt a chance, not 1 day of going out on a date or movies, nothing. The only person that could have done it was her ex-boyfriend, or her best friend that tried the same thing that I did except he gave up easily and he already had a girlfriend. They were best friends because he was close to her and he was going to be the 2nd father of her kids. I was so depressed because I couldn't break through her doors at all. I had no chance. I told her I was in love with her, not I love her because I didn't know her in person or fully what she's like but, I do believe, trust, and risk everything for her and her kids that she is good enough for me. I've never! daned, looked, stared, at any girls I swear. I felt so forbidden because In a way, I don't ever want to her the girl I love. She was good enough for me. Believe me, the strip club wouldn't do any better either..she was just for good for me . It's not because she was hot! Even though I didn't notice it, I never was that way, she was just beautiful pretty and everything. She was suprised when i told her she was good enough for me, and I got her. She said "What do you mean? you got me? I told her that she was good enough or me. She was suprised. Anyways things got deeper. I told her I was in love with her. She said, "No, No, No, Your confused". I told her I wasn't. I explained a few things how I felt for her. She said, "You should move on, there are other girls out there better then me, it's because you don't want to talk to them". I told her, I didn't want to and nobody is perfect. I was to strong to hide my feelings that was going to hurt her and I didn't want it to happen so I told her basic things. I was fighting for love and I argued with her. She just "Didn't know what to do or what to say" then she told me "Not to visit everyday because she'd get in trouble". She went disneyland over th weekend and so far I havent seen her for week now. I miss her so bad. I really wanted to see her, msotly her kids but, she won't just yet. Her birthday is i 2 more days July 15. I'm giving her clothes and the next day I have to tell her everything how I feel but, I will be sad. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- In my conclusion to where this is going and I really hope so. In My feelings to what my heart says is that. After I been or know her for 2 months just by talking, knowing her, everythng else but, not much in the inside. however, I do trust an believe her inany way I've seen it everywhere and she never lie to me or be sarcastic. I showedher how worried I wss when I met her, I promise hr and showe her exactly what kind of person I am. I loved how she was happy when I gave her photos f her kids for her and her grandma. I really was in love with her, i visit her everyday see her at her job exactly 4-5 times a week but, I give her space and time for herself nowdays. I never waste my time, she is my time and I know she is the righ one for me. I know I argued for what I wanted with her beasuse I wanted love. She never felt the same way and I didn't understand why maybe because she was ready neither was I but, I know I been moving quite fast and a little hastey. I felt bad after we argued, I thought about her choosing me because I had good intentions, So I guess I have to tell her that she have to consider the idea that I have to admit "I will never be choosen, ever. " Even though I was ther the entire time, I guess it wasn't good enough for her. I never give up. I bought her a Hawaiian Silver Turtle necklace so she remembers me. I was special and She was exceptional, intelligent and beautiful. She changed my life. I wish I would be with her but, I pray, beg it would happen. But, it won't unless she dcides to change it. I know so much and I really am in love. I wish in a way that I could be a godfather to her kids and be close to her. I'm a very great guy! I may not be that smart but, I am willing to learn. I don't bother or complain. I'm from hawaii too soo..I have a great spirit built..One day I wish she would find me.she knows I will be independent. I just don't want her to choose the wrong guy and regret her mistakes. Her kids will love me so much if she gave me a chance. If I was ever to move on, I wouldn't unless someone is strong enough to get me and change me and it would b twice as hard as this girl I'm in love with. I will never love this girl more then anyone else...she changed mylife and everything ade me happy. I would love her more then any gil I wuld go out with There's more then just this..I have a lot to say..trust me, I'm in love! I can explain so much things and everyting about her everyday. Compared to what I am writing now is only a little and half of what I have to say. The only thing is "The strong and deep feelings is still hiding in me and it won't be told after her birthday". Edited July 14, 2010 by Hawaiian808
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