ttkels Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 So, 2 guys have told me back to back that they are breaking up with me, they don't know why. They both said that I am a nice girl, everything that a man would want, the total package, they just can't figure out why they're not head over heels in love with me. Is this a guy's way of taking the easy way out? I have already begun to examine myself, to make sure that I am not sending out weird vibes. I want to work on myself so that I won't have to hear this again!!!
xpaperxcutx Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Nice girls normally mean marriage material, and most guys are not looking to settle down just yet. Unless they actually meant it generically, possibly meaning you're average and they don't find you as attractive as the next " hot" girl that might come around the corner.
skydiveaddict Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 So, 2 guys have told me back to back that they are breaking up with me, they don't know why. They both said that I am a nice girl, everything that a man would want, the total package, they just can't figure out why they're not head over heels in love with me. Is this a guy's way of taking the easy way out? I have already begun to examine myself, to make sure that I am not sending out weird vibes. I want to work on myself so that I won't have to hear this again!!! those guys are idiots
Author ttkels Posted July 14, 2010 Author Posted July 14, 2010 It just seems like alot of guys want a Bitch, somebody that has a ton of attitude 24/7. I am not giving up but that kinda knocked the wind out of me. Nice girls normally mean marriage material, and most guys are not looking to settle down just yet. Unless they actually meant it generically, possibly meaning you're average and they don't find you as attractive as the next " hot" girl that might come around the corner.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 It just seems like alot of guys want a Bitch, somebody that has a ton of attitude 24/7. I am not giving up but that kinda knocked the wind out of me. And most bitch-s mean a good hook up, which most guys would immediately jump in bed for. You should settle for more than that.
TouchedByViolet Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 It just seems like alot of guys want a Bitch, somebody that has a ton of attitude 24/7. I am not giving up but that kinda knocked the wind out of me. HELL NO. Nice is what guys want, not a bitch. Please don't go to the dark side, nice women are already difficult to come by. Good guys need as many nice girls as possible in the dating pool. Was there anything wrong with the guys that would make them leave? Do you go for guys that are not interested in you that much? How soon does the breakup follow the guys getting sex? More details and we can help more.
gamma1 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 It just seems like alot of guys want a Bitch, somebody that has a ton of attitude 24/7. I am not giving up but that kinda knocked the wind out of me. You need to hold out for the nice guy looking for the nice girl. Do not settle for anythiong less. There are millions of them out there.
Author ttkels Posted July 14, 2010 Author Posted July 14, 2010 I dated Guy1 last summer for 3 months. We also work together ( I know, mistake number 1). Things were good until out of the blue, he announced that he wasn't feeling anything for me. Told me I was a great catch but he felt that he should have felt more for me by month 3. We did have sex by month 2. This guys is 36. Guy2 is a long distance relationship. We have never met in person, we've talked for the past year. He has also said that I am the total package and he cannot figure out why he doesn't feel more for me at this point. This guy is 12 yrs older than me (I am 36, he is 48). HELL NO. Nice is what guys want, not a bitch. Please don't go to the dark side, nice women are already difficult to come by. Good guys need as many nice girls as possible in the dating pool. Was there anything wrong with the guys that would make them leave? Do you go for guys that are not interested in you that much? How soon does the breakup follow the guys getting sex? More details and we can help more.
phineas Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Nice girls that are bad in bed finish first in my book. are you reserved in bed & make the guy do all the work or do you throw him down & try to break it off? because It doesn't matter how awsome a person a woman is, if the sex is boring I will loose interest & there honestly isn't anything I can do about that. I like what I like & if the sex isn't there it won't work out.
Blade Runner Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 (edited) ttkels, On one hand, you could run around all day with a dark cloud over your head, trying to work out exactly what you could have said or done to make these men like you that extra bit more. You could say to yourself that it's you that needs the work; and not them, and that the fact that you're kind makes it all too easy for them, which in turn, doesn't give these men the "buzz" they've been desperately searching for since they ruined any form of a real relationship in their lives, years ago. But I say screw that. There are too few women like you in the world, and while it's easy for any young fool like me to say hang in there, I'm encouraging you to do exactly that. One day soon, a man's going to come your way that not only appreciates the fact that you are you - but will love you for it. As for your question, where do nice girls finish? Well that's exactly it. They finish. The rest never make it far. They'll overtake the other runners early on, but then they get all out of breath. Seems to me like you've got plenty of breath. All the best. Edited July 14, 2010 by Blade Runner
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 So, 2 guys have told me back to back that they are breaking up with me, they don't know why. They both said that I am a nice girl, everything that a man would want, the total package, they just can't figure out why they're not head over heels in love with me. The last two relationships I had prior to this one ended this way. What it came down to was a lack of sexual attraction. I wasn't their 'type' and they were not as attracted to me physically as they had been with other women. I don't know if it is an easy way out. It is never easy to tell someone that you just don't want to be with them even when they seem like a good catch. It is pretty rare for a person to be completely honest as to why, but at least these guys didn't do a disappearing act, or cheat their way out of the relationship. I think it may just be a simple mismatch - I know once I found someone who was deeply attracted to me, and certainly found me his 'type' that it made all the difference. Hang in there and don't get yourself down - you may just not have found a good match.
somedude81 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 I dated Guy1 last summer for 3 months. We also work together ( I know, mistake number 1). Things were good until out of the blue, he announced that he wasn't feeling anything for me. Told me I was a great catch but he felt that he should have felt more for me by month 3. We did have sex by month 2. This guys is 36. That's fine. Not every guy is going to fall in love with you. Nothing to be worried about. Guy2 is a long distance relationship. We have never met in person, we've talked for the past year. He has also said that I am the total package and he cannot figure out why he doesn't feel more for me at this point. This guy is 12 yrs older than me (I am 36, he is 48). uh What? You call that a relationship?! He was your pen pal and a much older man. I'd be amazed if he felt anything for you at all.
Author ttkels Posted July 14, 2010 Author Posted July 14, 2010 Thanks, guys for your helpful respones. SomeDude, you are right. I got the older guy confused with being something more than a pen pal. Both relationships came after I had been divorced for one year. Bladerunner, love your post! and yes, I have alot of breath. All of you have helped me to see more clearer, thanks!
stillafool Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Don't change yourself just the guys you chose to date. Look for a nice guy who is looking for a wife. The guys you were talking to want a woman who will set their pants on fire!
torranceshipman Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 There is nothing wrong with you! They knew for sure why they broke up with you, but used a polite excuse. Sounds to me like maybe they just had a lame reason like they still want to play the field.
carhill Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 When you meet a man whose *want* and *attraction* match up, and that's you, you'll have found a great potential. The remainder is your *want* and *attraction* matching up and being him. So far, with no clear signal from you on your match-up, these men apparently aren't *attracted* to you, though they might *want* you due to you being a 'good catch'. No right or wrong here, merely the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. Only way to find out is to try. Congratulations on that part
Author ttkels Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 Thanks, Carhill. That is very helpful. I always try to examine myself as well.
Author ttkels Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 Stillafool, Woogle, torranceshipman, thanks for your advice. I am so happy with who I am now and this is the happiest I have ever been. I just want to meet a guy who wants me as much or more as I want him!!
mortensorchid Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 You are who you are, whether you are a Bitch or a Nice Girl, or something in between. Those two guys you just described are just wishy washy wimps, and you don't need them. You don't need to change drastically, and if you do you can't keep it up forever. He should be accepting and courteous of you rather than have you sweating out whether you are good enough or not.
TheLoneSock Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Please don't go to the dark side Haha, I thought this was a funny way of putting it. Fitting too.
Chicago_Guy Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 So, 2 guys have told me back to back that they are breaking up with me, they don't know why. They both said that I am a nice girl, everything that a man would want, the total package, they just can't figure out why they're not head over heels in love with me. Is this a guy's way of taking the easy way out? I have already begun to examine myself, to make sure that I am not sending out weird vibes. I want to work on myself so that I won't have to hear this again!!! Those guys were not interested in you for some reason, but I seriously doubt it was because you were "nice." Women will often reject a guy for being "too nice," but I think that men rarely reject women for the same reason. They were probably just trying to let you down easy without giving you the real reason why they wanted to end things.
tigressA Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I was dumped by a couple of guys who used a similar line on me, and it turned out that there wasn't really anything wrong with me; it was just that they weren't interested/attracted enough and they were trying to be polite.
TheLoneSock Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 and it turned out that there wasn't really anything wrong with me; it was just that they weren't interested/attracted enough Turns out they were insane.
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