itcantbimpossible Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Hello, I am new to this, Actually new to this site. I'm looking for advice on how to mend a busted heart and maybe some theories. I know this sounds simple and all but what I'm talking about is a heart that seems to be completely detroyed. Here is my story I was in a relationship with what I felt was a great man. Our connection was great we were together for 2 years. We are both professional young adults late 20's. Actually 6 months into the relationship he told me that he knew I was the one. Late January of this year he brings up the subject of marriage saying he loves me and wants to spend his life with me. A week after the marriage discussion he tells me " he can't do this and the relationship is over. I was shocked I was blindsided, but a week later he calls saying crying saying he was so confused and made the biggest mistake of his life by breaking up with me. Then 3 days later says " look I met someone out of state she is actually a new friend of my sisters and I think I want to date her." I was so hurt I said ok and did NC. I did NC because I knew I couldn't talk with him without busting into tears. He calls me a month ago and asked me to pick up some of my things that were left at his house. Yesturday ( 5 months from the break up)they post on their facebook they are engaged showing a picture of her ring. She doesnt even live in the same state. How often could they have seen one another she lives across the country? Do men really move on that fast? I know the typical advice is to move. How do I? I don't even know what happened. I know for him to have moved on so quickly he must have been talking with her/cheating, But How can he move on so quickly? I understand people have a change of heart and that is life but How do you go from telling a long term GF that you want to spend your life with her the engaged to someone else 5 months later!! Any advice, any suggestions on what may have happened or how I may be able to pick my head up again. Anyone have any story alike?
Iselia Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 I don't even know what happened. I know for him to have moved on so quickly he must have been talking with her/cheating, But How can he move on so quickly? It is very possible for him to move for other reasons, but it sounds like you answered your own question. He probably cheated, whether it be physical cheating or emotional cheating. Did he ever become emotionally/physically unavailabe? His needs were probably being met elsewhere. This is usually how a person quickly moves on from a relationship, sorta like a rebound in a way. To move on I suggest NC. NC will enable YOU to take control of your life and keep him out. Out of sight, out of mind. If you have any questions about NC see the guide: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81399/
USMCHokie Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 I know the typical advice is to move [on]. How do I? I don't even know what happened. You know EXACTLY what happened. He left. That is the only thing that matters. Stop looking for reasons why it happened. Once you accept that it happened and leave it at that, you can begin healing. Don't stress yourself out and prolong the pain searching for a reason he left or trying to figure out how he moved on so fast. None of that matters. He doesn't matter. It's just you now. Everyone moves on at a different pace...some take longer than others... Bottom line: stop worrying about what happened...and you can only pick your head up and move on when you choose to...no one else can do it for you...
cookiecrumbles Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 you shouldnt try and analzye anything of what happend, because it did happen and all you need to concentrate on now is yourself! Unfortunately he moved on, but maybe not unfortunate, you have an exciting future to look forward to, who knows what could happen, you might find someone who sweeps you off your feet, and instead of talkin about marriage they will have no hestitations in asking you, think positive get your life back on track, and be excited about the future.
Author itcantbimpossible Posted July 14, 2010 Author Posted July 14, 2010 Thank you all for for taking the time to reply. I know it happened. I know most of the answers I'm looking for only he can answer. I just really wanted some thoughts on how someone can move on so quickly to such a permanent situation. I had not yet gotten over the shock of the breakup when I was hit with the shock of their engagement. The most obvious answer is to move on, but it is extremely hard when the rug was pulled out from underneath you and given to someone else.
cookiecrumbles Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Yeah it is very hard to move on! But the good thing is it can be done. I feel for you and that situation, its heart wrenching to see someone you spent so much time with,with someone else, but think of it in a positive way. You seeing him with someone else should push you even more to move on and see that he wasnt who you thought he was and that you deserve better. If it was meant to be it would be your finger in that picture. Everything happens for a reason, definately move on! And obviously delete any chance of seeing further pictures or updates of his, that includes facebook or anything else. Ignore everything! If you stay true to what you deserve out of life you will end up the better for it. I know i did.
Recommended Posts