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the hits just keep coming


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Posted

today i got my keys, im all packed up ready to go, the kids are excited, my family and friends are glad to see me making a move to get him out of my life,

but i miss him, i cant stop myself thinking about him. wishing............

im moving to a new house that holds no memories of "us", i know its the right decision but im scared.

can i really do this????

i explained in previous posts how i slipped up on sat nite and let him stay the night, then on sunday afternoon he went back to her.

i started nc again, i cried, i felt sorry and angry at myself for allowing it to happen, i should have stayed stronger.

i dont think that i want him back he was no good for me and i know that, but it doesnt stop the hurt that HE doesnt want ME.

im not having what i would call a bad day nor would i welcome him with open arms the pain of this rejection is just to much to bear and the pure fear that he could possible do it to me again if i dared to let him back stops me from having any communication.

i guess what im trying to say is that i dont want him, but i dont want him to have moved on so quickly and i know that sounds stupid and somewhat pathetic, but shouldnt he have "grieved" for our relationship, i mean it lasted 10 years, could he have gotten over me that quick and i know i will probably get the reponse of "why do you care ect", but is it possible to just switch off???

Posted

I'm sure it is possible to switch it off if you are a sociopath, but since you have a heart no. I'm sorry. I wish I had a better answer. You could repress your emotions but they will come to haunt you later- believe me, I did that with my father's death and I paid for it later. ((((HUGS))))

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