PSV Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 I feel like I want to change quite a few things about myself, but I can't really pinpoint what those things are. I think they mostly stem from really not having many friends. I'm really pretty shy, and I've been working on changing that for years now. I have an awesome, awesome girlfriend, but I know that I can't spend every minute with her, even though I definitely could, and would enjoy it. Of course I'm a completely different person around her, and I think that's actually the real me. She knows I'm way different when other people are around, and does give me plenty of support. It's just frustrating. When I'm not with her, I don't know what to do with myself. I've been a pretty serious musician for most of my life, but haven't played any music for a couple of months now. I just recently got a dog, and I think that's part of the reason why I haven't played much, but still.. I can definitely find time to do it. I just don't, and I don't like that. That brings me to believe my situation stems from not having anyone around besides my girlfriend. It's taking over my thinking, and I'm not focusing on my other interests. I had a few friends a while back, then they all kind of fizzled out and we grew apart, or they moved away. I've tried going to places with my dog, but it seems like every dog park is just full of old people. And unfortunately, the only people who talk to me while I'm walking her are either adults or girls. Girls would be cool if I didn't already have a girlfriend, and being able to talk to them is still nice, but I just need friends. I've definitely thought about checking out clubs, because of my interests in music and film, but it seems like the members of groups on meetup.com and the like are just wayy older than me. I feel like one of my best prospects has been eliminated too, at least for the time being. I'm really into rock climbing, and am part of a gym that I went to pretty regularly. There were plenty of pretty cool people there that I would like to be friends with, but I injured my finger a few months ago and took a break for a while. Once I tried climbing again, the pain came back instantly, so now I'm forced to take even more time off. I'm telling myself that once school starts up again things will change, and I guess I'll have to see if that works out. In the mean, though, I just feel like I have no choice but to sit around and do nothing.. And I'm not sure what I have to ask exactly, but any sort of input will be appreciated.
EmptyPromises Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Quick question before I put in input, how old are you?
jean-luc sisko Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 Join a club or a group and be nice to people.
mmemories Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 I am the absolute most shy person that I have ever known my whole life. In elementary school, I was so shy that I couldn't even ask the teacher permission to go to the bathroom. I'm 22 right now. I found that I became less and less shy the more I went through the college experience just because I had to be more assertive to compete in life. It also helped when my boyfriend and I broke up, because it made me appreciate having friends there to support me. If I didn't have my friends, I probably would have gone into a depression. Just be more open. What's the worse that will happen? I always had a fear of opening up to people, and I couldn't explain why. I would attribute it to being sensitive. But after going through a very painful breakup, I realized that no pain could match it, and that realization made it a lot easier for me to be less shy. Just be open and take people as they are.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 When you come right down to it we're all just worlds unto ourselves and the soonerwe face it and start to find strength in it the sooner we'll be at peace with ourselves. Evryone I ever connected with has let me down or dropped some shi+ on me I can't reconcile--stuff that may not have hurt me directly but discolures of their beliefs which astonish me and frazzle my respect. I still go trough the motions of acting like a friend but I don't know anyone who'd go to bat for me to the degree I'm willing to for them. I have deep, down "blow it out your azz" kind of attitude because people I've known and whom have called me friend have played games and made excuses for their failures to be true to their word and seem to think I can't tell when they're phoning in a lie or a half-assed excuse. It insults me. I'm not a push over who buys BS.
jean-luc sisko Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Do you want friends? I think if you do, then simply find people who are similar to you, in taste or outlook. Yes, relationships with others can be problematic, but it's like saying nobody should ever get married since marriages can end in divorce. Some bad experiences cannot sour an entire concept. I would recommend everybody have some kind of regular social contact, since it's human nature and good for emotional wellbeing.
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