feelinggood Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 My break up story can be found here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t232739/ So, 3 months after breaking up, he's coming back. I was so determined to go NC with him and he caught me at the right time. He was very depressed over the things his girl and her bunch of friends did to him. Apparently, the whole gang backstabbed him until he has nowhere to run. He told our common friends that he regretted everything he has done and it was unfair to pull me in when he's feeling down. He also said that he wanted to get me back. But I got to know all these were from our friends, not from him. Anyway, I had my guard up. Although I was still angry at him but I couldn't leave him alone at that time. When he msged me on MSN, he'd tell me how bad the moments were, how he missed the past and how he regretted. He didn't mention anything about second chance, maybe he thought it's not the right time yet. Anyway, I just listened to him and gave him some advices as I certainly don't want to see him failing his exams. He did things that he won't do normally, for any other people. I made him shout something stupid in the middle of his uni after his exam. He did it. I doubted he did in the middle of his uni, so I made him shouted for a few more times, in the middle of the city. He did it too, and I can hear the sounds of people talking and some other background sound. Besides that, he offered to buy me gifts, which he couldn't be bothered to buy for anyone else. And he texted me when he went to another city for holidays, and promised to take a lot of pics to show me when he's back to his uni. (Note: We are in different countries now.) He will tell me about his future too, after graduating. I've asked him about the girl, he said she's a waste of time and won't contact anymore. All the things seemed to be falling into the right place now (so-called right place as this is what I wanted). But come the questions...do I want him back? Is he worth the second chance? Will he ever cheat again? I know we have to clear all these doubts before we start again. I'd love him in my life again, but things are so uncertain now. He won't come back until end of this year. And my family doesn't want me to be with him because he has hurt me so deeply. What can I do now?
soleharmony1123 Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 Work on LOVING YOU. The things his girl and his so-called gang did to him - backstabbing - is reflective, on a small scale, to what he did to you. The backstabbing is simply a form of retribution. Think about it. Would you agree? I wouldn't take him back - especially if he cheated. It seems he's come crawling back to you ONLY because everything else in his world has 'gone sour.' My 2cents is if you want him back make him feel the pain (see the error in his cheating) and do the work of proving himself worthy before you take him back. That shouting and "public humiliation" you put him through is like a game or a fraternity/sorority initiation. Make him really feel the pain you felt when he was unfaithful to you. Then, and only then, if you're still not disgusted with him, take him back. -Sole
Author feelinggood Posted July 14, 2010 Author Posted July 14, 2010 Work on LOVING YOU. The things his girl and his so-called gang did to him - backstabbing - is reflective, on a small scale, to what he did to you. The backstabbing is simply a form of retribution. Think about it. Would you agree? I wouldn't take him back - especially if he cheated. It seems he's come crawling back to you ONLY because everything else in his world has 'gone sour.' My 2cents is if you want him back make him feel the pain (see the error in his cheating) and do the work of proving himself worthy before you take him back. That shouting and "public humiliation" you put him through is like a game or a fraternity/sorority initiation. Make him really feel the pain you felt when he was unfaithful to you. Then, and only then, if you're still not disgusted with him, take him back. -Sole Yea, I agree with you saying that he comes crawling back only because everything went wrong. But I was thinking, if it wasn't for this experience, he wouldn't know how to appreciate or treasure the person he loves. And we are each other's first love, and we were on LDR, maybe he thought of 'looking if there is anyone better out there'? And now he has learnt his lesson, he might really want to make it work? Make him feel the pain..yea I thought of that as well, but I couldn't. I'm not that kind of person and it's not true love if we really do that to our loved ones just because they did that to us. However, I won't just give in like that. I will need to clear ALL the doubts first, until I feel satisfied and comfortable to start all over again. Anyway, thanks a lot, Sole. Your comment has actually made me hold back before I do anything stupid.
Daniel89 Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Just be very wary if you plan on taking him back. Remember theres that possibility he may do the same thing again, and that's when you can only blame yourself.
Author feelinggood Posted July 14, 2010 Author Posted July 14, 2010 Aye, Daniel! I will keep this in mind. He won't be back until next year though. So I have plenty of time to think and plenty of time for him to prove his worthyness. And oh, I hope he won't do that anymore!!!
Recommended Posts