griffinchicken53 Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 not sure if it is titled correctly. i've had sex related conversations with female friends in the past. usually they'd ask my perspective from being a single guy, etc. sometimes i'd ask them something in the form of educating myself or getting their opinion. how do i initiate this type of a conversation?
Ronni_W Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 I'm taking you to mean conversations where the goal is purely educational/info gathering and there is NO thought-desire to end up turned-on and/or masturbating, is that right? Why not just initiate such conversations the same way your female friends do? Or something like: "Can I ask you a non-personal question about sex?" "Can you help me understand something about a sexual matter?" To me, "sex chat" is explicit and erotic; where both parties get turned-on and it ends wherever it ends. I'd not advise trying to initiate that with female friends.
Author griffinchicken53 Posted July 14, 2010 Author Posted July 14, 2010 it's not always the intended outcome but there was a time or two i got a mental image that i uh.........put to use later. making the title "sex chat" might not have been the exact phrase i should have used. or why i have no female friends is karma for being a loser.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 Your OP conveys that women have sought your input on matters of sex and not the other way around--only to say that you enjoyed the interplay and woud like for it to happen again perhaps with you initiating. I'd say this is a tough row to hoe. Unless you're a pro sex therapist, it will probably establish you as a freak to start asking ladies you don't really know for answers to sexual questions. Just take what comes and be appropriate. Over time you should find some willing to spill the beans about their private views if not likes and dislikes. Just don't be blunt or act like a clinician doing field study.
BubbleFreak Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 (edited) I have known this guy for a few years and when we first met he asked me all sorts of personal sexual stuff and I told him to **** off. He then continued to tell me stories of his own sex life and I told him to stop. After some time I realised he was like this with everyone, just very open to sexual conversations and it didn't mean he was hitting on me or anything. Now he has a gf, and he still talks like he did back when I first met him, but since I know what he is like I am more open to those conversations with him. And if he asks me for advice, I don't feel weird about giving it, but I certainly wouldn't talk about that stuff with most other people I know in RL. Moral of the story? Don't really have one, but he was persistent, and that's how he was able to get me to open up. Oh, to answer your question, when he wants my advice he generally follows this formula: ask me if I've ever encountered (insert problem) + tell me he is (insert problem) + ask what I think. Edited July 14, 2010 by BubbleFreak
Author griffinchicken53 Posted July 14, 2010 Author Posted July 14, 2010 one conversation one time went like this, well sort of, don't remember all the details; i asked how she was doing, said things were great, had celebrated her bf's birthday past weekend, etc. more dialog, something about my being single and i jokingly said i might just have to try going to a bar and have a one night stand.. to which she replied "i've done that a few times"......so of course i'm thinking now" how do i do that, how do i find a woman who goes to a bar in that mindset of no strings sex"? she didn't give alot of detail. later i kind of brought topic up, and she said i'm a nice guy and i shouldn't do a one night stand.
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