ahashakeheartbreak Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Not talking to him, on NC. Going out with friends. There's been time. Yet, it's still tough...seriously discouraging. Went out with friends this weekend, my friend invited me to dinner, I got there, there were THREE couples and one single person...guess who? Yeah, me. Waitress asked everyone what check went to whom, got to me last (of course), gave me this quesioning look to which I had to say "I'm alone." She frowned and patted me and went "Aww." all phoney like. haha. Seriously made me want to bawl. Basically explains my entire weekend. Went out with friends hoping it'd keep my mind off things, and it did the exact opposite. Feeling very down today.
Author ahashakeheartbreak Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 Also...I'm the type of person who, if something is bothering me or I want something changed, then I do what it takes to fix it, or get rid of it. But, there's only so much I can do with this type of thing. It's hard for me to just have this feeling that I can't REALLY change. I just have to stick with it...until...I don't know what or when. Does that make sense? I just want the clouds to (finally) clear away and let some sun shine down. Obviously I know that I'm responsible for a large part of that happening, but as I said, I can't do much more because of circumstances and other people. Done what I can, I guess I just have to stick everything out.
skydiveaddict Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Hang in there , you will be ok. you're doing the right thing. stay close w/your friends and continue to stay busy, it's difficult I know, but you WILL get through this
Author ahashakeheartbreak Posted July 13, 2010 Author Posted July 13, 2010 I know...it's honestly just soooo f***ing difficult. I want him back SO badly. Not for any other reason other than I miss him so much, and I know I had so much more to offer that I never got to show, and we had so many things planned that we were going to do this summer. He ended it at such an awful time. One week before prom. He was supposed to take me. And I missed it. I also missed it last year because of him, I went to see his band play. So, I missed all my HS proms. I don't care about all that, I'd glady miss any old thing like that for him. He knows I'd do anything for him, and I cannot shake the feeling it's my fault, that I was so awful that I got him to not like me anymore in a matter of a week. I know it doesn't matter and I just need to get over it, I'm just venting. I know only time's gonna take care of this one.
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