Does Your Boyfriend Have to Think You Are Attractive?

[lotus118]

I am not sure where to start.

 

Here it goes, if even for my very own sanity:

 

I was dating a guy very seriously for about 4 months and can honestly say I was starting to think he was "the one." You know, someone I could eventually settle down with and be with for the rest of my life. He had every quality I had ever looked for in a guy: warm, compassionate, understanding, nurturing, patient, etc.

 

Everything was great, he loved my personality and said I was one of the funniest and smartest girls he had ever met and loved how open-minded and laidback I was. The only problem was that usually I am used to getting a good amount of attention from guys not only due to my personality but looks too. I am not saying I am a "10" or supermodel by any means but I consider myself to be well above average and happy with my body and looks. I don't expect everyone to think I am beautiful but since it's always been a huge issue for me to finally "own" my body and face, (I went through cystic acne, used to be chubby, I have hormone imbalance issues, I've been through rape and a lot of verbally/emotionally abusive relationships as well as a very negative relationship with an alcoholic father) to the very least, I want a significant other or boyfriend to consider me gorgeous or beautiful. It isn't for the sake of vanity necessarily or some kind of much needed ego boost, its just a deep down necessity of mine to be desired and lusted after or be considered breath taking to a guy that I am very seriously involved with. Only his and my opinion would count in this issue, no one else's.

 

So that's where it begins.

 

I workout regularly and watch what I eat, I have clear skin and healthy hair and take care of it, I dress up and wear makeup and go tanning outside when I get a chance. I am not fat or don't have deformities or anything of that nature and put an effort into what I wear. I like my facial features and the fact that I have an average sized body with a prominent chest and hips. I like me. It took me a long time to be able to say that.

 

When I first started dating this guy, he said he liked certain characteristics on women. Tan skin, straight, black hair, a bigger butt, an exotic/ethnic look, someone who is promiscuous looking. This innately bothered me because I have light skin, heavily highlighted curly hair, an average sized butt and I have a very cute/fresh-faced look. It didn't start bothering me heavily until I realized he never complimented me on my looks or ever called me hot or beautiful. Whenever I questioned it, he would say he liked my personality much more than my looks because I am that amazing and a "rare" find.

 

Then one day, he would usually talk about girls we both mutually knew from his college and rank them by saying if they were "hot" or "not" and what he did and didn't like about their bodies, I would chime in because I have a lot of male friends and don't easily feel threatened by guys checking out other women because I never felt like a guy checking out another woman automatically means he finds me less attractive. He also watches porn which I am not opposed to because I know most men do and that unless it's affecting the sex life, it usually isn't an issue.

 

That all being said, he once claimed that a few Indian girls were considered "better looking" than me which caused me to become greatly disturbed since he was directly comparing me to them in front of my face. It got worse when I was diagnosed with PCOS and had a 5 pound vanity weight flunctuation that cannot necessarily be controlled with diet and exercise (trust me I tried) and he said he wasn't as attracted to me when I gained that little bit of pudge because he felt like I was "letting myself go." It got worse when he said I was a "7" without makeup on and an "8.4" with makeup on while other girls we knew were "9's."

 

I was very insecure at first about not being seen without makeup but I decided he was different since I could see him being husband material and now that he saw me bare-faced and in my natural state without being dolled up or with my hair done, I was suddenly just deemed a "7".

 

I started conciously comparing myself to those girls and suddenly started thinking about starving myself and googling articles like "how to look slutty" or "how to be hotter." I also started feeling insecure because I now feel ugly without makeup or because I have lighter skin and less exotic features than the average Indian girl. When I brought this all up to his attention and cried hysterically on the phone, he apologized and said he felt bad for hurting me and that he wouldn't do it again. But when I asked him why he said those things and why he didn't find me gorgeous or hot or beautiful, he said "Haven't you ever dated someone solely on personality? I am not saying you are busted (butt ugly) but what attracted me to you was your sense of humor and intellect. I think its shallow for you to want me to think you are gorgeous or hot because I don't and I can't help that. Wouldn't you rather be with someone who laughs at your jokes or finds you intelligent than someone who just simply thinks you are hot?"

 

I broke up with him. For comparing me to other girls that he found more attractive. For thinking a 5 pound weight gain that can't be controlled suddenly makes me unattractive. For giving me a "rank" on what I look like naturally. For constantly bringing up his ex. For saying he doesn't consider me gorgeous or beautiful or hot. For constantly critiquing what my body looked like, i.e. "your stomach looks bigger, you gained weight on your butt but its in the wrong places, you are really pale."

 

Am I vain for breaking up with a guy because he isn't attracted to me physically or is he vain for not being able to tell his girlfriend that she's beautiful? I feel really unattractive, insecure, jealous, hurt, depressed and unworthy right now. I keep thinking about all the times I was rejected, dumped or abused and feel like its my fault. I have no desire to go to the gym or make myself up because I feel like there's no point, its never enough. If a guy claims to want to marry me and says that he loves me can't call me beautiful than how can I? I want answers.

 

Maybe I am just a very shallow or superficial girl and I needed a reality check or maybe he really is a total jerk for disrespecting me. Was I right in breaking up with him or was it dumb and vain on my part?

 

As a side note, I am extremely mad because he is currently balding, is below average in height and has a lot of acne on his face and back and I never once commented on this because I was so head over heels for him and so madly attracted to him in terms of looks and personality, plus when you love someone shouldn't you think they're the effing sh*t anyways, both weaknesses and strengths? I accepted him as the whole package. And he viewed me as his mediocre looking girlfriend with an awesome personality. I feel degraded.

[Star Gazer]

Am I vain for breaking up with a guy because he isn't attracted to me physically or is he vain for not being able to tell his girlfriend that she's beautiful? I feel really unattractive, insecure, jealous, hurt, depressed and unworthy right now. I keep thinking about all the times I was rejected, dumped or abused and feel like its my fault. I have no desire to go to the gym or make myself up because I feel like there's no point, its never enough. If a guy claims to want to marry me and says that he loves me can't call me beautiful than how can I? I want answers.

 

I haven't had the same experience as you (in being compared to others), but I have recognized in the past week or so that while my ex told me he loved me and accepted me for who I was, I cannot recall a time when he told me I was beautiful/pretty. If I spent time getting ready, he might say, "You look cute, babe." But nothing more than that. No comments that made it sound like it was a fact that in his eyes I was beautiful. Even when I was all gussied up, like for a wedding or special occasion, he didn't say it. I didn't realize it at the time that he wasn't saying it, I just assumed he felt that way (Why did I assume? Because I believe I am, and my belief is enough for my own self-esteem). Maybe he did think I was beautiful, but I can say that deep down it really hurt me that he never acknowledged it and left me to wonder if he did...

 

Because, let's face it... We want to be the only one our SO has eyes for, and we want to be the most beautiful person in the room to them - as they are to us. And it hurts when we're not.

[norajane]

Was I right in breaking up with him or was it dumb and vain on my part?

Any guy who critiques a 5 pound weight fluctuation, esp. due to a medical issue, is an assh*le.

 

Any guy who critiques you like this:

For constantly critiquing what my body looked like, i.e. "your stomach looks bigger, you gained weight on your butt but its in the wrong places, you are really pale."

is an assh*le.

 

plus when you love someone shouldn't you think they're the effing sh*t anyways, both weaknesses and strengths?

Yes, that's correct. In the same way he was hot in your eyes despite objectively having his flaws, someone who truly is in love with you is going to believe you're hot as the total package.

 

Only his and my opinion would count in this issue, no one else's.

That's why you shouldn't feel worthless and unpretty. Just because IN HIS EYES and IN HIS OPINION, he didn't feel that you were "hot" doesn't mean no one else will feel that way about you. It just means he wasn't really head over heels in love with you and/or he's an assh*le.

 

And it means someone else will feel you're hot and only his and your opinion would count. So wait for that guy and don't walk around feeling ugly. One guy's opinion is just that.

 

And, if I may, I will caution you on believing that you've found someone to spend the rest of your life with in only 4 months of dating. Dating is for really getting to know a person, and to determine whether you are really, truly compatible, and to evaluate who he really is over time when true colors come out. That takes a LOT longer than 4 months. In this case, it took 4 months to figure out that he was NOT the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with. And that's ok - that's what dating is for.

[harmfulsweetz]

I am not sure where to start.

 

Here it goes, if even for my very own sanity:

 

I was dating a guy very seriously for about 4 months and can honestly say I was starting to think he was "the one." You know, someone I could eventually settle down with and be with for the rest of my life. He had every quality I had ever looked for in a guy: warm, compassionate, understanding, nurturing, patient, etc.

 

Everything was great, he loved my personality and said I was one of the funniest and smartest girls he had ever met and loved how open-minded and laidback I was. The only problem was that usually I am used to getting a good amount of attention from guys not only due to my personality but looks too. I am not saying I am a "10" or supermodel by any means but I consider myself to be well above average and happy with my body and looks. I don't expect everyone to think I am beautiful but since it's always been a huge issue for me to finally "own" my body and face, (I went through cystic acne, used to be chubby, I have hormone imbalance issues, I've been through rape and a lot of verbally/emotionally abusive relationships as well as a very negative relationship with an alcoholic father) to the very least, I want a significant other or boyfriend to consider me gorgeous or beautiful. It isn't for the sake of vanity necessarily or some kind of much needed ego boost, its just a deep down necessity of mine to be desired and lusted after or be considered breath taking to a guy that I am very seriously involved with. Only his and my opinion would count in this issue, no one else's.

 

So that's where it begins.

 

I workout regularly and watch what I eat, I have clear skin and healthy hair and take care of it, I dress up and wear makeup and go tanning outside when I get a chance. I am not fat or don't have deformities or anything of that nature and put an effort into what I wear. I like my facial features and the fact that I have an average sized body with a prominent chest and hips. I like me. It took me a long time to be able to say that.

 

When I first started dating this guy, he said he liked certain characteristics on women. Tan skin, straight, black hair, a bigger butt, an exotic/ethnic look, someone who is promiscuous looking. This innately bothered me because I have light skin, heavily highlighted curly hair, an average sized butt and I have a very cute/fresh-faced look. It didn't start bothering me heavily until I realized he never complimented me on my looks or ever called me hot or beautiful. Whenever I questioned it, he would say he liked my personality much more than my looks because I am that amazing and a "rare" find.

 

Then one day, he would usually talk about girls we both mutually knew from his college and rank them by saying if they were "hot" or "not" and what he did and didn't like about their bodies, I would chime in because I have a lot of male friends and don't easily feel threatened by guys checking out other women because I never felt like a guy checking out another woman automatically means he finds me less attractive. He also watches porn which I am not opposed to because I know most men do and that unless it's affecting the sex life, it usually isn't an issue.

 

That all being said, he once claimed that a few Indian girls were considered "better looking" than me which caused me to become greatly disturbed since he was directly comparing me to them in front of my face. It got worse when I was diagnosed with PCOS and had a 5 pound vanity weight flunctuation that cannot necessarily be controlled with diet and exercise (trust me I tried) and he said he wasn't as attracted to me when I gained that little bit of pudge because he felt like I was "letting myself go." It got worse when he said I was a "7" without makeup on and an "8.4" with makeup on while other girls we knew were "9's."

 

I was very insecure at first about not being seen without makeup but I decided he was different since I could see him being husband material and now that he saw me bare-faced and in my natural state without being dolled up or with my hair done, I was suddenly just deemed a "7".

 

I started conciously comparing myself to those girls and suddenly started thinking about starving myself and googling articles like "how to look slutty" or "how to be hotter." I also started feeling insecure because I now feel ugly without makeup or because I have lighter skin and less exotic features than the average Indian girl. When I brought this all up to his attention and cried hysterically on the phone, he apologized and said he felt bad for hurting me and that he wouldn't do it again. But when I asked him why he said those things and why he didn't find me gorgeous or hot or beautiful, he said "Haven't you ever dated someone solely on personality? I am not saying you are busted (butt ugly) but what attracted me to you was your sense of humor and intellect. I think its shallow for you to want me to think you are gorgeous or hot because I don't and I can't help that. Wouldn't you rather be with someone who laughs at your jokes or finds you intelligent than someone who just simply thinks you are hot?"

 

I broke up with him. For comparing me to other girls that he found more attractive. For thinking a 5 pound weight gain that can't be controlled suddenly makes me unattractive. For giving me a "rank" on what I look like naturally. For constantly bringing up his ex. For saying he doesn't consider me gorgeous or beautiful or hot. For constantly critiquing what my body looked like, i.e. "your stomach looks bigger, you gained weight on your butt but its in the wrong places, you are really pale."

 

Am I vain for breaking up with a guy because he isn't attracted to me physically or is he vain for not being able to tell his girlfriend that she's beautiful? I feel really unattractive, insecure, jealous, hurt, depressed and unworthy right now. I keep thinking about all the times I was rejected, dumped or abused and feel like its my fault. I have no desire to go to the gym or make myself up because I feel like there's no point, its never enough. If a guy claims to want to marry me and says that he loves me can't call me beautiful than how can I? I want answers.

 

Maybe I am just a very shallow or superficial girl and I needed a reality check or maybe he really is a total jerk for disrespecting me. Was I right in breaking up with him or was it dumb and vain on my part?

 

As a side note, I am extremely mad because he is currently balding, is below average in height and has a lot of acne on his face and back and I never once commented on this because I was so head over heels for him and so madly attracted to him in terms of looks and personality, plus when you love someone shouldn't you think they're the effing sh*t anyways, both weaknesses and strengths? I accepted him as the whole package. And he viewed me as his mediocre looking girlfriend with an awesome personality. I feel degraded.

 

First up, from what I can see of you on your avatar, you're beautiful. He's a jerk. Simple. You were right in breaking up with him, he lessened your value of yourself, made you think less of yourself which a partner should never do. They should find you gorgeous and beautiful, with or without make up. Sure, we all have our off days, but if I had a bf who wouldn't call me hot, or beautiful, because in his eyes, I wasn't, then I wouldn't be calling him my bf much longer.

 

Every girl wants to be the one girl in a whole room of women that can take his breath away, that he thinks is beautiful inside and out. I don't think that's asking too much to be honest. After all, they want and expect us to find them physically attractive, don't they?

[MisUnderstanding]

There will always be someone more beautiful than you and your man will see it.

 

HOWEVER

 

It gives him no right to ever tell you that, or to give all those disrespectful comments on your looks without makeup or your weight, and assign ranks. Personality matters, but looks do too. If he is more physically attracted to other girls, guess who he's going to pick to have sex one night. With those remarks he's made to you he screams of being a cheater.

 

You did the right thing, you seem like a good girl and you deserve better treatment.

[Yamaha]

Am I vain for breaking up with a guy because he isn't attracted to me physically or is he vain for not being able to tell his girlfriend that she's beautiful?

 

In any relationship the guy/gal should find you attractive and beautiful/handsome. If they don't then you should break up with them--as you have so done. It is not being vain to be appreciated.

[Ruby Slippers]

Some men will think you are passable, OK. Some will think you are gorgeous. Being with a man who thinks you are only OK is pretty miserable, in my opinion. I've been in both situations, and I'll never go back to the first again.

[lotus118]

On the flipside, I feel like this is my fault. I have to admit that since most of my friends are guys, I am used to them checking out/ranking girls, even in the most vulgar sense. I always told him it didn't bother me if he did that because I didn't find it a threat to our relationship or make me question his attraction to me. It was almost provoked or encouraged by me. It wasn't an issue until he started ranking/rating me to my face as well as directly comparing other girls to me. That's what hurts.

 

He's supposed to love me, rarely gives me compliments about my looks which he knows I love (what female doesn't?), and then says "x, y, z" are hotter than you.

 

That's what throws me off, he invested so much time and energy and effort, talking to me for hours every night, supporting me and listening to all my dreams and aspirations, listening to me intently without raising his voice and even mildly discussing our future together. Can a man love, care and be completely faithful to a woman if he doesn't find her gorgeous or beautiful? This was the ONLY red flag but it made me feel like **** nonetheless.

 

He also said "you can't have it all and I always choose personality over looks?" Why can't a man think I have both? I just don't get it. Do men lie to their girlfriends when they claim to think they're the most beautiful girl in the world? Does attraction come from personality or looks or both? Was he just trying to be honest with me because he thought I would be understanding and logical? I am just so confused and have no idea how to assess this.

 

Sorry for being obsessed, I am usually a calm and collected person but this has caused me to question everything I ever thought about sexuality, attraction, relationships and men. I especially want to hear an objective male or female perspective.

[Yamaha]

Does attraction come from personality or looks or both?

 

Lasting attraction comes from both.

 

 

How did he feel/his reaction when you broke up with him?

[lotus118]

This is why I am so confused: he said that he felt destroyed and hated himself for ruining something that could have been amazing. He said he still really loved and cared for me and wished he could have taken it back. I feel so torn right now, does stuff like this deserve a second chance or is it one of those things where once you have the knowledge of how a person really feels about your personal appearance, it can never be undone.

 

There have been a million guys who claimed I was ugly. And a million other guys who told me I made their jaws drop and that I was a total bombshell. Why was he so in love with me if he only thought I was decent? Maybe looks and personality are different components for certain men and they can do without one and predominantly focus on the other?

[sarah1268]

your boyfriend should always think your beautiful, other wise he doesnt deserve you. Find someone who adores everything about you looks and personality otherwise their not woth your time.

[norajane]

I feel so torn right now, does stuff like this deserve a second chance or is it one of those things where once you have the knowledge of how a person really feels about your personal appearance, it can never be undone.

 

Why? Do you want to spend your life with a man who criticizes a 5 pound weight gain and feels the need to point out your stomach looks bigger and the fat in your ass is in all the wrong places?

 

It's his personality you should be concerned about, and the fact that being with him has sunk your self-esteem to ground level to the point you are seeking validation for your choices from strangers.

 

Don't let your need for validation guide you into taking him back.

 

There is NOTHING like looking into the eyes of your lover and seeing admiration shining out of his eyes. There is NOTHING like catching your guy staring at you and having him tell you that the way the sun is shining on your hair is making you glow. There is NOTHING like hearing your lover tell you that he feels lucky cuz you're so beautiful.

 

You will miss out on that forever if you choose him as your partner.

[Yamaha]

There are guys who don't compliment a gal b/c they think she should just know he adores her ( by the fact he is with her ).

 

Does he compliment other women that he finds attractive?

[threebyfate]

On the flipside, I feel like this is my fault. I have to admit that since most of my friends are guys, I am used to them checking out/ranking girls, even in the most vulgar sense. I always told him it didn't bother me if he did that because I didn't find it a threat to our relationship or make me question his attraction to me. It was almost provoked or encouraged by me. It wasn't an issue until he started ranking/rating me to my face as well as directly comparing other girls to me. That's what hurts.

Consider this a learning experience. If you encouraged him to rate others with you, it opens the door to rating you.

 

Having said that, the 5 lb thing was nothing less than superficiality at its worst. You'll find sometimes the ugliest men are the most critical of women. It's a form of compensation.

 

Forget the second chance and move on. This dude is a dud.

[lotus118]

Consider this a learning experience. If you encouraged him to rate others with you, it opens the door to rating you.

 

I completely accept responsibility on that account. I always told myself that when women sit around and degrade each other, it makes men think its justified to degrade women too. I didn't actively realize it at the time but I guess I was being a hypocrite to my personal philosophy. When I opened the door for him to call other women hot because they had a great face or ugly because they were "fat", it made him assume it would be okay to call me hot because of my face or ugly because he thought I was "fat." I was trying to be understanding and open-minded to how the male mind works but instead opened up a can of worms to make him think it would be okay to apply that negative mindset and thought process to his own girlfriend.

 

I should have more self respect for myself as well as all other women out there as opposed to saying "its okay to do this, I am just one of the guys."

[lotus118]

There are guys who don't compliment a gal b/c they think she should just know he adores her ( by the fact he is with her ).

 

Does he compliment other women that he finds attractive?

 

I am unsure of how he functioned around his ex-girlfriend and/or girls he has hooked up with or had crushes on in the past but he did repeatedly say he felt like Indian women in his experience (I am East Indian and he is West Indian) would get too conceited/egotistical because men would constantly compliment them so he avoided doing that. However I felt like that comment was well, let's be obvious, racist, as well as unjustified because there's a difference between complimenting a random girl on the street v.s. your own girlfriend. She can't get cocky because she already has you and if she gets cocky anyway, you realize she isn't who you thought she was and you give her the boot. He was letting his past negative experiences dictate how he treated me and he can't hold me accountable for the way women in his past have functioned with him.

 

That being said, if he had no problem recognizing when other women were gorgeous or banging hot or had pretty faces or amazing bodies to me, there was an obvious issue when he couldn't say the same to me. I am not sure if he didn't compliment me out of fear that I would get conceited or if he genuinely didn't look at me the way he looked at those other girls. I feel like it is the latter though and that's what makes me cry my eyes out.

[Brady_to_Moss]

Why Must You Put Caps on Every Word in The Title?

[lotus118]

Why Must You Put Caps on Every Word in The Title?

 

Simply that, because its a Title.

[that girl]

It got worse when I was diagnosed with PCOS and had a 5 pound vanity weight flunctuation that cannot necessarily be controlled with diet and exercise (trust me I tried) and he said he wasn't as attracted to me when I gained that little bit of pudge because he felt like I was "letting myself go."

Even if you are five foot even, I doubt a 5 pound weight gain is actually noticeable. Did you bring up the tiny weight gain to him? Whether or not you did, this is basically emotionally abusive.

I am used to them checking out/ranking girls, even in the most vulgar sense. I always told him it didn't bother me if he did that because I didn't find it a threat to our relationship or make me question his attraction to me. It was almost provoked or encouraged by me. It wasn't an issue until he started ranking/rating me to my face as well as directly comparing other girls to me. That's what hurts.

Honestly, you kind of contributed to the problem and I think you need to think about why. Why would you encourage your boyfriend to rank members of the opposite sex? To seem cool? To see how you rated?

 

Some couples do work like this, but the woman has to be really secure and into it and the guy has to be aware of where the line is drawn. Your boyfriend took it to a hurtful level and most guys wouldn't, but I don't think this is something you should go for in future.

 

I think you need to move on.

[Els]

To answer your question, I don't think an SO necessarily needs to think you're beautiful or hotter than other girls (which is what you're really talking about, 'attractive' can be many things, not necessarily physical appearance). Did you think that every single guy you were with, was handsome? If everyone needs to think that, where would all the unhandsome and unpretty people be? There are other elements to attraction for some of us.

 

But the way your bf in particular is behaving is seriously douchey.

[Stung]

Why Must You Put Caps on Every Word in The Title?

 

 

It's a common and often preferred style for titles, and quite grammatically correct.

 

 

OP, your boyfriend is insensitive. Granted I believe that ranking people numerically according to their looks is kind of a douchebag move by anybody, but ranking your girlfriend and then telling her everything about her that brings her score down comparative to other women's in your mind is just...mean. Not to mention tacky.

 

I'm not exactly my husband's physical 'ideal'--I am brunette and busty where he has a leaning towards redhead and leggy--and hey, in a perfect world he'd have a different accent and wouldn't be losing his hair. We do hit each other's preferences in many other ways, and we dwell on all the many things we do find attractive about each other, BOTH physically and otherwise. My husband loves my for my humor/personality/intellect, but never fails to let me know he finds me beautiful and sexy as well. He builds me up rather than picks me apart, and just appreciates me for myself instead of rating me or comparing me unfavorably to other women and making me feel insecure about myself or his attraction to me. As others have said it's about the whole package, not one or two of the details.

[sagetalk]

If that's you in your avatar then you are hot without question.

 

You are overacting a little, but he should never compare you to other girls even if you ask him to. He was certainly trying to lower your self esteem for his own benefit, good for you for not letting him.

 

Many guys treat girls this way because it keeps the girl humble and lessons the chance that she'll leave because she thinks she can do better. It usually works really well on girls with low self esteem. It appears you have a high self esteem and it didn't work on you. I applaud you for that. You are miles ahead of most single girls your age.

[Stung]

Honestly, you kind of contributed to the problem and I think you need to think about why. Why would you encourage your boyfriend to rank members of the opposite sex? To seem cool? To see how you rated?

 

 

This struck me as well.

[that girl]

Many guys treat girls this way because it keeps the girl humble and lessons the chance that she'll leave because she thinks she can do better. It usually works really well on girls with low self esteem. It appears you have a high self esteem and it didn't work on you. I applaud you for that. You are miles ahead of most single girls your age.

 

The OP actually sounds pretty insecure to me. And this is what tends to happen when people pull this kind of manipulation. Someone with self-esteem would have rolled their eyes and bailed out early, someone with low self-esteem ends up constantly fighting or on again/off again. It is abusive and it only kind of works. You know someone is insecure when they put up with in, but it isn't going to make either person happy.

[Ruby Slippers]

Look, the simple fact is that when you are with a man who thinks you are beautiful and lets you know it, and can't hide the fact that he thinks so, you're not going to be beating yourself up and asking all these questions. You'll be too busy smiling and feeling on top of the world.