messymichelle Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 so the other night i ****ed up i let him take back the control, i let him use me, i slipped up, i paid my price for it crying, feeling low, used and angry at myself for swallowing his crap. but today, after changing my phone number, talking to friends, family and a solicitor, i took back my self control. im on the nc bandwagon again, and more determined than ever to stick to it this time, i made arrangments through my solicitor regarding the kids access ect, AND i looked at a new property to rent and signed the lease!!!! no more miss nice woman, i have to put this ghost to bed once and for all and move on with my life, he is playing games with me and calling all the shots i refuse to play anymore. he is hurting me emotionally, he knows me soo well that he knew what buttons to press but i have to make these changes or else im just giving myself hope that he will come back and if IM doing that to myself i will never let go, i want to let go and i need to let go im being reasonable about it he can see the kids on specific days but instead of contacting me he must contact my sister, for everything else his must contact my solicitor. two months of this **** is more than enough of it, he only called round the other night in my opinion was to try and mess a relationship that he thinks that im having with another man, (there is no other man) but yet asks me not to tell anyone that he was here, but says he loves me, has feelings for me and always will, i mean wtf?? i spent ten years with this man and there is NO WAY im going to take the place of other woman or second fiddle im worth much much more than that what do you guys think?
TaraMaiden Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 I think you treat him like a highly irritating neurotic neighbour. you can't get rid of him, but you can make your own sentiments felt, understood and make sure your views an opinions are unambiguous, to the point and clear-cut and dried. Looks like you're well on your way to doing just that. keep it up.
wrencn Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 That's the spirit! Glad to see you are feeling better. You are going to be fine. I need to go NC on my husband- I'm going to try my darnedest!
rager Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 Good work, looks like you've put some real positive processes in place now to help you move on.
Author messymichelle Posted July 13, 2010 Author Posted July 13, 2010 im never going down that road again!!! thanks for the positive feedback, i know that im doing the right thing in order to help myself move on and let the prick get on with the tramp he is with, maybe i had a lucky escape, even though it doesnt feel like that right now!! i love him and i miss him, but he has shown no respect for ME or the kids and i must accept that even though it is a bitter pill to swallow after spending ten years with him. i stopped logging on to facebook, ive banned any friends from talking about him or her and ive stopped all contact with mutual friends for now, i sent them a nice text telling them that i needed some time and space by myself and that i would be in contact when i feel that the time is right, thankfully they mostly replied that they understood, except for the one bitch that i know was filling him with lies lol **** her
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