OGP Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 (edited) It's a fairly basic story I suppose. She broke up with me. I tell her that I'm sorry for one or two things that I regretted about how I handled myself during the relationship but reserved my self respect by not begging and pleading. I told her I need time to myself to find my center again because I felt absolutely devastated and to please not contact me for any reason unless it's about our belongings. She's contacted me for making arrangements about some of our belongings and I've always been polite and replied with "yes, sounds good" when we arranged drop-off of our belongings through a mutual friend. If anything, she's kept a hold of some of my things and for weeks, emailed me to ask if I would like my stuff given to a mutual friend or not. Not sure why she didn't just give them all at once unless she really just wanted an excuse to "check-in". I've been like a rock otherwise. No contact and no discussions about anything other then belongings. I've suspected she's been waiting for me to make the first move and contact her about how things looked from my end but I've really had no desire to talk to her about anything since I took it pretty hard and she kept giving gifts back with my stuff that she held onto. Giving the gifts back was pretty harsh since I made them by hand and they where very sentimental. We've been broken up for a little over 2 months now (together 2 years.. almost married). So, I'm on vacation right now and have been in and out of remote areas for a while without regular access to email (thank god) or phone service. The last chance I had to check my mail, she sent me something asking if I could send back a netflix movie I had forgotten I had. So I reply with a simple "yeah no problem. Take care. -Me". So I called up my roommate and asked him to just send it back and left to go on my next destination out in the boonies. She has no more of my things and there is really no more reason to communicate about mundane details about returning belongings. So, I check my mail again about 4 days later and I saw that she had replied a few times: 1st reply Do you ever plan on talking to me again at least for some closure on this? 2nd reply (10 minutes after the 1st) I mean the disrespect I feel is beyond repair at this point. 3rd reply (2 days later) I realized recently that I do not need anything from you in order to have closure. The closure I am looking for can only come from within myself. After I told you why I could not do this anymore in all of 15 minutes, my voice being the only one in the room. You leaving with this assumption that we would have a talk after we had some space.... I do not know why I expected us to have a conversation, full of closure, an adult discussion full of conviction and courage. But no. We never had those so I do not expect it now. So, I have my closure. I realize you never were ready and the lack of communication and lack of raw honesty is something I could not handle any longer. I am sayng good bye also to the false assumption we were friends. So goodbye and good luck in your future relationships. I hope you can find what you are looking for.I want to tell her that I respected her decision to break up and without her offering any discussion so I gave her space but more importantly, time for myself to start to move on. Also, that because she hasn't approached me with the same level of respect (returned gifts, returned broken laptop and no communication about money she owes), it makes me unsure about having any discussions about the relationship at this point. I'm not in any hurry. I'm feeling pretty good about things at this point though too. I started dating again. Life is good. I don't want to throw my progress and happiness away. Perhaps her and I can never be friends again but I feel like telling her that I just need more time (really I don't think she's ready to have a discussion). I'm leaning towards ignoring her last reply completely and continuing to enjoy the rest of my vacation and life. She can't remain angry with me forever. Perhaps when she's actually moved on, I can talk about my end to her and actually have a talk about what went wrong. I would like to be her friend someday but maybe I'm fooling myself. My best friend is also my ex I dated for 5 years but no two women are the same. Easy decision right? Too soon. Ignore. Do not contact. Edited July 12, 2010 by OGP
Davey McG Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Easy decision right? Too soon. Ignore. Do not contact. Bingo! You seem to be doing the right thing. Carry on and do not contact.
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