sumthingclever Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Hello! I met a guy online, and we chatted for a couple of weeks. He would ask me lots of questions about myself, and it never got sexual except a couple of questions about what underwear we like. I am interested in getting to know him first, and don't want to rush the physical-I'm over dating guys who don't know what they want out of life, and just want a "good time." I feel like I finally have my life together, and this guy seems to also. (He has a good job, and actually LIKES it too.) We went out for dinner and drinks, and it went pretty good. He kissed me, but no making out. I had the feeling he wanted more, but he didn't push it. Great. Or so I thought. I was so excited for the second date...what we could do together,where to go. I thought MAYBE I met a guy who wouldn't just try to have sex right away.Not because I want him to spend money on me, but because I want to get to know him. (If money was an issue for him I'd pay for my half...) What does he suggest? Going to his house to watch movies. Why do guys you meet online always want to go back to their house? Call me old fashioned but that just spells booty call. Or, that I'm not worth taking on a date. BUT I have met some nice guys who want to just hang out at home and chill, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I just told him before that was ok, but that I didn't want to have sex yet. Well, he still tried to make out with me and tried to have sex. I, of course, stuck with my guns. I didn't think a little making out was wrong. I wanted to kiss a little, but sex? Just not ready yet. It was really annoying though that he kept asking. I thought for sure I wouldn't hear from him anymore...but he sent me a text the next day. (We text every day at work) but he was online that night and ignored me when he used to always IM me as soon as I got on, and ask me lots of questions. Oh, well we are not kids (we are just both online for work a lot) so I didn't take it personal and just had a good weekend. I didn't hear from him at all until sunday night and he IM'd me but was kind of distant. Oh well,right? I had plans and we HAD only been on two dates. Even though it bothered me I don't want him to know lol I am wondering if maybe I don't show interest enough though?? SO I IM'd him and asked how he was.(he had IM'd me earlier but signed off without saying bye) He attempted to say he was pretty pushy the other night, but didn't apologize for it either. I'm just wondering what the next step is here-would it be wrong to clarify what he wants- or do you think I should just move on? Should I ask if he is still interested? I don't want to just ask him because I've found guys will just lie OR be more blunt about it then I want to hear! I have been out of the dating world for awhile, so I don't know, I might have screwed this up, but oh well. Anyways, thanks for letting me vent a bit
Serenitynow Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 You said no sex and he tried anyways. That is a HUGE red flag that he has no respect for you. If I was a girl and a guy did that to me, I would not go out with him again. I am 39, and I would never bring a date to my house until after a few weeks of dating. (unless she brought it up) What is both your ages ? I just reread your post, realized he brought you to his house on the 2nd date ? Yikes ! I would run ! .
Author sumthingclever Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 Yeah, I know what you mean. I would normally run but I've been in his shoes sort of! I thought talking online for a few weeks was enough to get to know somebody and wanted to have sex to see if physical chemistry was there because I have waited and it was awful(although if I like someone I give them another chance) I'm just wondering if maybe that's what he was thinking? I mean do other people feel that way?it seems younger guys move fast! He is mid twenties I am 30 but look younger. I also did go in his house so maybe that gave wrong impression? I know I'm giving too many excuses but seems like all guys act like this so maybe its me? I dated an older guy though who was a perfect gentleman and woldnt sleep with me right away but turned out to be.really mean sooo I just don't know anymore. Screw it I'm just going to talk to hiom lol if he can't handle honesty we won't get along anyways!
Serenitynow Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Communication is key. But you have to be careful, guys will say anything to you want just to get you in the sack. Actions speak louder than words. .
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