Brady_to_Moss Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I have always wondered. I am a loner myself. Very few friends/acquaintances that i see or hang out with. I would rather be by myself. It may seem strange but i really don't like people. I use to be terrible in social situations but being on anxiety meds has stopped that. Would a guy being a loner be a deal breaker for you and if so why?
Gero Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I have always wondered. I am a loner myself. Very few friends/acquaintances that i see or hang out with. I would rather be by myself. It may seem strange but i really don't like people. I use to be terrible in social situations but being on anxiety meds has stopped that. Would a guy being a loner be a deal breaker for you and if so why? I would guess it would be a dealbreaker because I sure haven't had a lot of success.
Nikki Sahagin Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I would imagine that not being a people person and preferring your own company would make it harder to meet girls, but I don't think it would be a deterrant - it would be most likely if you were drawn to a sociable, outgoing, party animal girl - she may feel held back by your different lifestyles and you'd feel forced to do things you don't want to. I'm kinda similar to you in some ways so I can relate.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I agree with Nikki. It's not that it would be a deal breaker (unless the girl was a party animal who absolutely had to have someone who was the same way because her life revolved around it), it's more that you're going to have trouble meeting new girls because you don't go out there and do it, so it's going to be harder for you to find a date in that way. I'm quite a bit of a loner, myself, as well, and I know exactly why I never had a boyfriend until I was 19 years old. I wasn't making myself vulnerable, being out-going, or meeting people.
TheLoneSock Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I don't think so, unless you are a loner due to just having people issues in general. That would be the problem much more so than you not having many friends. Most girls prefer their guy spend %90 of their attention on them rather than their friends anyway, once the relationship gets to a certain point. So them not having to compete for your time with your friends could actually be a plus for you. As long as you aren't antisocial/socially awkward - that, of course, would scare most any woman away.
TouchedByViolet Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Women don't like loners. I have a small circle of friends now and it has helped with meeting women and being more social.
You'reasian Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I have always wondered. I am a loner myself. Very few friends/acquaintances that i see or hang out with. I would rather be by myself. It may seem strange but i really don't like people. I use to be terrible in social situations but being on anxiety meds has stopped that. Would a guy being a loner be a deal breaker for you and if so why? If you're a sociable loner, then you're good to go. If you're an anti-social loner, it will be tough for you.
lso802 Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 I'm a loner. When I have too many friends at school, I tend to get distracted and my grades reflected it. So I try my best not to talk to or befriend people unless they're in my major, and all they talk about is school. Sometimes that's hard to do though. I agree with the previous posters. If you're a loner due to lack of social skills, then people may not be attracted to you. But if you're a loner by choice, odds are favorable. People will go, "Well, he's a smooth talker and gets along with people but why...?"
Ruby Slippers Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 My best boyfriend ever was kind of a loner, and I didn't mind that, especially since he loved spending time with me. But the problem was that the majority of his social network was his crazy, overbearing family. So that didn't work out.
TheLoneSock Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Women don't like loners. Speak for yourself. Plenty women do.
deux ex machina Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 If you're a sociable loner, then you're good to go. If you're an anti-social loner, it will be tough for you. That's an important distinction. ---------- I might be an introvert, but when I'm social I get on well and have fun getting to know/being with people. People open up to me quickly - probably because I listen, actually care, and they know they can trust me. But I definitely need time to myself. I'm friendly, but my friendships are few and largely drama-free (by design). So, I would date a loner and not have a problem with it; it's an element of my personality as well. I'm very much an observer type of person. The problem that might come up is that if you are with a person that is very extroverted, that they honestly may not understand that you really don't need it be around a lot of people to be content. Human nature being what it is, when a person hasn't experienced something themselves it can be more difficult to get it. Not impossible. Just difficult for some. It depends on their personality, and the way you 'fit' together.
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