messymichelle Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 i so messed up big time... i know i have every post that ive read on this site has told me to stay nc, as i explained in previous posts because of the kids its nearly immpossible though i have only responded to texts relating to the kids and nothing else. so last nite, i decided to stay in with a few dvds, HE LANDS OUT!!! my heart is racing as i think he has come to tell me he made a mistake and wants to come home. there was no warning to say he was on his way. the kids were away for the night except the youngest(hes 3). he starts off by asking how i am blah blah. how nice im looking (ive lost alot of weight) blah blah i act all cool, then he asks me out straight about a man ive been seen out with (hes a close friend, though he has never met him, take into account he has been seeing a 20 year old girl for 4 weeks) i didint really say much except that the fella was funny ect. one thing leads to another and i end up in bed with him, i know i know and i know that i should have booted him out but..... i havent a good excuse except that i love him. we talk afterwards and he says he has feelings for me and always will and that he loves me. i know ..i can smell the bull**** from here, but i swallowed it. he needs time to sort himself out, we will see what happens ect ect. i am soooo stupid i should have known what he was playing at but i just didnt want to see it . so he leaves this morning and now i hear hes sitting up in her house, and im in bits again. # i know this is my own fault, but what do i do now??? he was so happy this morning when the child came into our room, it felt soo good to watch him be a daddy again. i thiught he was coming back even though except by sleeping i didnt let him know that i wanted him back, i soo confused now
scatterd Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I understand how hard it is been there done that.You are building his ego and making it harder to get over him.When you let go and realize its over is when you heal.Holding on is only going to make the pain last longer.I would let her know so he stops his game.Good luck I hope you heal soon.
This Hurts Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Firstly, I can't help but think that a huge part of the reason he did this was solely to see what's going on with that guy he thought you were seeing. Another thing, I think it's great that you didn't let him know you wanted him back. For the sake of your dignity what do i do now??? Well, there's good news and bad news. The good news is you just have to do what you have been doing... cope. The bad news is it's going to be more intense now, than it was before. MORE good news is that it will get better, though. Just get back on track.
Author messymichelle Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 thanks for replying, i am soo pissed off at myself for falling for that crap and setting myself up for the fall again. im not sure what to think of his actions though, even though i shouldnt really care but i cant help but wonder does he think of me?? does he love me or is that just bull****?? was is just the thought of me with someone else making him jealous even thogh thats not what i want? i know i shouldnt care but i hadnt the guts last nite to ask him because i was afraid of the answer does this make sense??
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