summerl0vesyou Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Hey...so Ive been bf/gf with my guy for a little over a month. we had sex for the first time a week ago and had sex again yesterday. we have a rocky rship, i tried to breakup with him once and he took me back, then within 24hrs of having sex the last time, we were fighting and he said i should consider leaving if im sooo unhappy with him. i dont think hes right for me but i do like him, and then theres the fact weve had sex...idk how to go about breaking up with him and sticking to it cuz this is toxic but I feel trapped kinda. I like him but I hate how he will yell and fight with me, and things seem one sided in his favor all the time....please help?? I need to leave right?? even though we had sex? ugh.,
sugarmomma Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Breakup with him. Its only been a month and you will be over him in no time as long as you go no contact. The first month should be awesome and amazing, not filled with yelling and fighting.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Don't have sex with men that you don't feel compatible with unless you want a quick fling. No matter how much you are pressured to because like you said, it just complicates things. Relationships are always hard to get out of. I know the sex thing makes it seem worse, but it would probably be an emotional roller coaster either way. The longer you stay in it, the harder it will be to leave, too. If you think the two of you have no way to work all this out, then get out of it as soon as you can. Only you know if the two of you can ever work this out though.
TaraMaiden Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 I'm sorry, I'm confused.... Why does 'having sex' with someone mean it's more difficult to break up with someone? I had sex with my ex-husband, and 2 children too, so there's proof..... and I can safely say that most people in break-ups on this forum have had sex with their exes. Clarify, because I really don't get it....?
Author summerl0vesyou Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 I'm sorry, I'm confused.... Why does 'having sex' with someone mean it's more difficult to break up with someone? I had sex with my ex-husband, and 2 children too, so there's proof..... and I can safely say that most people in break-ups on this forum have had sex with their exes. Clarify, because I really don't get it....? i feel kinda guilty first of all for breaking his heart after ive done that with him. if i breakup with him today that would feel cold. i had a guy dump me a few hours after having sex and he said he didnt think we clicked. he was my bf of 3 weeks and wed had sex a ton of times so i felt completely awful. i dont want to do that to someone. plus i like the sex and i feel like since ive done it, and i want it and like it, maybe its some incentive (or should be some reasoning) to stay and its also added some attachment there. I said it.
TaraMaiden Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 i feel kinda guilty first of all for breaking his heart after ive done that with him. You're already breaking each other's hearts by arguing so fiercely after the event. What is it, do you think? A psychological 'on top' thing? Power play? if i breakup with him today that would feel cold. i had a guy dump me a few hours after having sex and he said he didnt think we clicked. he was my bf of 3 weeks and wed had sex a ton of times so i felt completely awful. i dont want to do that to someone. Would you rather have an arm cut off with a blunt, rusty knife that takes an age, or a high-precision steel perfectly sharp surgical implement that's clean and takes seconds? in other words, what possible justification do you have for prolonging the agony, if you think or are convinced you're going to break up anyway? plus i like the sex and i feel like since ive done it, and i want it and like it, maybe its some incentive (or should be some reasoning) to stay and its also added some attachment there. I said it. I get you, but please trust me - staying for the sex is never the right reason. First of all, sex changes. Secondly, when you fight and fall out, the sex becomes secondary, unimportant and reluctant. It loses its meaning and simply becomes carnal. You might as well find a male escort for all the significance it will end up having. Would you rather have sex with someone who makes it meaningful and passionate for you, or have sex with someone because that's all you have in common with him? Please hun....come on.....!
Author summerl0vesyou Posted July 11, 2010 Author Posted July 11, 2010 Would you rather have an arm cut off with a blunt, rusty knife that takes an age, or a high-precision steel perfectly sharp surgical implement that's clean and takes seconds? in other words, what possible justification do you have for prolonging the agony, if you think or are convinced you're going to break up anyway? I get you, but please trust me - staying for the sex is never the right reason. First of all, sex changes. Secondly, when you fight and fall out, the sex becomes secondary, unimportant and reluctant. It loses its meaning and simply becomes carnal. You might as well find a male escort for all the significance it will end up having. Would you rather have sex with someone who makes it meaningful and passionate for you, or have sex with someone because that's all you have in common with him? Please hun....come on.....! well...Im definitely looking for something different. i like him and i wish it could work and sometimes I idealistically believe maybe it can but i know deep down that it wont. is that what i should follow then?
TaraMaiden Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 "deep down" is also known as the Gut Instinct. Gut Instincts are rarely - but very rarely - wrong. Put it this way, if you don't break up with him now, you'll be a frequent visitor to this board, starting threads complaining about all kinds of things.... and telling us the sex isn't as good as it was..... Look, ultimately, it's your choice, but if it's looking hopeless now, you think it's worth all the hard work to lift it from 'dreadful', to 'mediocre'?
Author summerl0vesyou Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 Look, ultimately, it's your choice, but if it's looking hopeless now, you think it's worth all the hard work to lift it from 'dreadful', to 'mediocre'? lol! yeah ive already visited this board quite a few times about him. even before we were officially together. and i will regret being with him Im sure...i tried to break it off tonight and i just couldnt do it. I guess Im just not fed up enough yet...Im too attached. Oh life. Lol
Serenitynow Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 Where can I find a girl that will give me sympathy sex ? I can even learn to be an a-hole and argue with her a lot, so she continues to have sex with me cause she feels bad. .
Author summerl0vesyou Posted July 13, 2010 Author Posted July 13, 2010 Where can I find a girl that will give me sympathy sex ? I can even learn to be an a-hole and argue with her a lot, so she continues to have sex with me cause she feels bad. . hahahaha i have sex with him cuz i love sex. but its part of the reason i havent left. i want to get laid. but feel bad for the emotions he has developed, that i havent. I dont want to just sleep with him and then dump him. hump n dump. haha
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