skydiveaddict Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 stay away from her. she will only smash your heart to bits
Author Maverick1983 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 I really want to thank gray clouds and spydder for all the advice lads it is very much appreciated and helped alot.I hope you are soon in the same position as me spydder and find peace with your situation.And to gray clouds keep giving valuable advice to people because you know your stuff.Cheers.
Author Maverick1983 Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 Ok deep breath.I was at my friends house last night having a few beers.My friends gf is my ex's best friend.The two girls were out and came home that night after the bar and she was also spending the night there.So we all stayed up talking for awhile and afterwards I prepared myself for a night on the couch.My ex was sleeping in their spare room and asked me if I wanted to sleep in there with her as it was cold.I thought about it and agreed.Sure what harm could it do i said to myself. Anyway we talked for awhile and as she was cold I jokingly offered to warm her up and she surprisingly said yes.I held her in my arms all night and in the morning I woke up next to her and one thing led to another and we ended up kissing and eventually having really passionate sex.We questioned whether it was a mistake or not so we did it again. I decided not to analyse why or how it happened and I just enjoyed it.I decided that if we had a big discussion about what had just happened and "us" at that moment it would maybe spoil what happened and I just let it be. I suppose what Im wondering now is what should I do?I do love her and I do want her.What do I make of what happened last night?Did it just happen through desire or is more than that?I find it strange that we were so comfortable throughout it all and it felt right.
DavidWhite Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Damn, 8 years, that's impressive. Somebody who can be faithful to you that long is a keeper, I would do my upmost to make it work again.
Author Maverick1983 Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 (edited) Well since my last post we have had a in depth discussion about things.This was brought on by her asking me did I mind being friends and hanging out together.When I heard this I just lost my grip on my progress ive made since the break up.I thought that her efforts to "hang out with me" had more of a purpose as only a couple of weeks ago we slept together etc.Im not being shallow by not wanting to be friends with her its just that I love her and want her back and I cant do it to myself as it would hurt too much just being friends. I asked her straight out whether or not she wanted to try again and she responded by telling me her head was all over the place and she needed time to think.I realise and respect her decision because I instigated the mutual break up by highlighting problems we had(much to my regret now) Am i just fooling myself or is she going to give serious consideration to her decision as she said she doesnt know whether shes able to try again.Shouldnt she be sure of that by now?I know through one of her good friends that she hasnt been with anyone else,not that that matters and she says she misses me and is still very attracted to me but isnt sure whether that is enough.I always treated her so well and was always faithful and I asked her for to the truth and she said that she cant give me an answer but she doesnt feel like her mind will change any time soon.Should I move on or should I give her time?.I feel responsible for our break up but I dont know if I should keep on fighting but we have been together 8 years. Edited September 8, 2010 by Maverick1983
NoneTheWiser Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Ok, here is my take and I might be out of line for saying this but being the hopeless romantic here it is….. If you truly love her and I mean truly love her then ask her to marry you. You both have spent 8 years together stop wasting time . Maybe her hesitation is that she is looking for a commitment from you having her know that you will always be there for her, to lean on, to support her and encourage her in good times and bad times.
Author Maverick1983 Posted September 10, 2010 Author Posted September 10, 2010 Ok, here is my take and I might be out of line for saying this but being the hopeless romantic here it is….. If you truly love her and I mean truly love her then ask her to marry you. You both have spent 8 years together stop wasting time . Maybe her hesitation is that she is looking for a commitment from you having her know that you will always be there for her, to lean on, to support her and encourage her in good times and bad times. When I first read your post to be honest I laughed at the thought of proposing to her but the more I thought about it,it actually makes sense.I never made any sort of concrete attempt to show her I was 100% committed to spending my life with her. When we decided to save for a house I panicked and maybe if I show her how determined I am to commit she may reconsider. I think I would never forgive myself for not at least trying. I spoke to her friend last night who I really get on with and who is my friends gf and she said that my ex is really confused at the moment and is really not herself and that she misses me but has doubts about whether it will work again.I'd love any input into this from anyone as I suppose a proposal works two ways.Either she says yes and we build again on it or she says no and I have the answer that I am dreading.Either way I will know.
Author Maverick1983 Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Sorry to double post but I could do with some suggestions on what I should do.I'm really confused at the moment and it's starting to bring me down.I really don't want to lose her forever.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Proposal is not the answer. You want a second chance it has to start fresh proposing is not starting fresh it's starting where you left off. I've been this route while on " break" she said yes and a month later we are broken up and I'm still pining for another chance because I know it failed because of things I've done.
Author Maverick1983 Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Proposal is not the answer. You want a second chance it has to start fresh proposing is not starting fresh it's starting where you left off. I've been this route while on " break" she said yes and a month later we are broken up and I'm still pining for another chance because I know it failed because of things I've done. I know what your saying.It's just we have broken up before and you're right a fresh start is always the best solution but the reason for this break up resulted from me panicking about buying a house and I suppose by that statement showing a lack of commitment.The 8 years we spent together mean so much to both of us and neutral friends think were both miserable at the moment and both clueless as to what we should do.I agree 100% with you though about starting fresh but I really think that the problem was me and I am all in now if she still wants me.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I know what your saying.It's just we have broken up before and you're right a fresh start is always the best solution but the reason for this break up resulted from me panicking about buying a house and I suppose by that statement showing a lack of commitment.The 8 years we spent together mean so much to both of us and neutral friends think were both miserable at the moment and both clueless as to what we should do.I agree 100% with you though about starting fresh but I really think that the problem was me and I am all in now if she still wants me. The problem was also me in my scenario, are you in NC?
Author Maverick1983 Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 The problem was also me in my scenario, are you in NC? I don't contact her but she's rang me a couple of times in relation to problems with her car and even to ask me to go to a concert with her!! I know I shouldn't answer or help her with problems but I feel so guilty for messing up everything that I just do.I love her too much to see her in trouble and I know I'm being foolish but it's not in my nature to ignore her.
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